Guess I lost my only friend...

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Ok, this probably seems like a stupid thing to complain about, considering the problems some people have, but I need to vent.

I have, or had, one female friend for five years or so. We used to hang out all the time, even went to Europe together. She asked me to be her bridesmaid, along with her sister and another friend of hers I don't like much. I told her how much I was looking forward to the shopping trip for the dresses a couple times. She took the other two bridesmaids and didn't even tell me about it until after the fact, calling me up and saying what dress she picked because it looked sooo great on both of them.

perhaps the girl you don't like convinced your friend to exclude you. this surely is an insult. you can express your disappointment without ending the friendship.

Such a low blow, but the friendship is yours to save or discard.

The other bridesmaid, the one you don't like, may have initiated the exclusion, or perhaps your friend herself. If it was your friend, one possibility could be she was looking to avoid any unpleasent side issues to detract from the special event. However, for whatever reason she sided with the other bridesmaid in this instance.

Its a bit tricky. It would matter to me, how exactly the exclusion came about. There might be some detail, you don't know, that alters the picture. In other words its not possible to really judge without more info. But seeking more info, confronting your friend about it could seem petty and create the unpleasentness your friend may be trying to avoid.

I think I would probably play it cool and go along so as to not create any disturbance for your friend, and just be supportive. Take the high road. If there are any more obvious offensive actions, I would re-evaluate my participation.

Something to consider too, is that marriage often moves a person away from their friends, so this person may already be moving out of your life, and it may not be worth taking too much trouble with.

If your friend does wish to continue the friendship, I do think they eventually do owe you an apology or at least explanation of why they bypassed you.

The planning of these types of large events tend to get taken over by other people in my opinion and feelings almost always take a backseat(where the money comes from makes a difference too). I find the dynamics of weddings terribly confusing and have seen meny familt fueds based on the guest lists and wedding parties inclusion. I would go through the motions get it over with and see what happens, your still in the wedding party so thats a good first sign, just don't mess it up for yourself or do something you may regret. Events like this I tend to like to go into "survival mode" as I just don't get the dynamics of the event, think of it like politics.

Well, I don't like the idea of participating if she considered me a close friend when she asked and doesn't anymore. I can't stand phony stuff like that. I also don't really want to complain, because it seems pathetic: I'm pretty much used to being treated this way by other women, although not by her before. I've grown to expect it, and I've started to think friends - or the sort of "friends" I attract - just aren't worth the suffering they inflict.
I wonder if there would be a quick (to minimize the time agonizing over it) yet subtle way to find out how it was intended, but probably not. Maybe I should just make some excuse and get out of the wedding party, and then write her off. I just don't want to have to deal with this kind of thing anymore; I'd rather be a hermit.

Just don't do anything you may regret, thats the most important thing you can do.