And here I go

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Well I don't even know where to begin. And first off, yeah I know a lot of people have it worse and I'm not bitching and whining about that. I'm sucking it up and going on with my life but I'm just typing it out here. Not saying that this s**t is anywhere near as bad as starving kids in Africa or a positive HIV test or even a bad hotel room or bikini wax, but here it is, take it as you will. Its simply another slice of what passes for my life.

Last weekend when DH got paid, since I handle the money and bills I put $100 back. Nobody went in my room where my purse was. In fact nobody knew where it was but me and DH. Monday morning I looked and I had $20 there. Well, I mentioned it to him and he threw a fit. He threw a fit that lasted all Goddamned week! He's 49 years old and acts like he's f*****g 5. Then he accuses me of treating him like he's five. I do. FOR A f*****g REASON! So he's gonna SHOW ME! He leaves and goes to his mothers. Yeah I'm hurt. Whatever.

So there he is gone for a few days. I'm not gonna let it bother me. Meanwhile last night, just as I'm falling asleep at about 2am I hear this shrill being killed by chainsaws scream coming from somewhere in my livingroom. Well I guess I have to get up and investigate so I do. I'm walking out there and my son (the younger one, the one who still talks to me and don't treat me like garbage) starts trying to puch me back up the hall in the opposite direction I'm going. Nope. I do not give two s**ts if he's security at the liquor store this is my goddamned house so he better move. I tell him so. He moves. What do you think I see when I come out here????

It's that white trash piece of s**t Motherf***er who was living with my son and his skanky ass baby mama who was letting MY CHILD support him, buy him beer, weed, cigarettes and was f*****g my son's baby mama IN HIS HOUSE. OK now, before you say anything this is a whole different situation. So the boy had come up in MY HOUSE cause my son and him are still friends. Oh no. Dear god no. I ran at his f*****g ass, and little bouncer boy there grabbed me. I was yelling "WHITE TRASH BASTARD I KILL YOU!" and so he left. I wresteled my way up out from under my son and got outside before he grabbed me. There was a floor jack in the driveway. White trash boys car was at the end of it. It did not turn out well for him. He took off fast then came back to pick up my son and they went off for like an hour or so. I was so enraged that I could not sleep till about 3. Then I had to get up at 50 to get my daughter off to school.

S then I tried to pay the gas bill on the phone with the card and it's in my husbands name but they want to talk to him for confirmation! There is no other grown man around who I can get to say it's him and I can't get him at work and he knows I'm gonna pay the gas bill like we planned so they don't accept it. I hope somebody drops a f*****g bomb on whoever made that rule. I do. In fact, I'd cut their throat myself If you want to avoid explosives. So then he gets here and we call and they won't take the card. This means our gas will be turned off. Cause we can't get to f*****g Mario or MCcalla in 10 mins before thye close to pay in cash. That's 40 f*****g miles away!

So my gas will be turned off, I am furious with that piece of subhuman s**t white trash and on top of it all I have a headache.

I am not in any way saying that those who may have suffered and died or lost loved ones under these circumstances are in less pain than I am but for the love of all that is unholy, I'm about to scream.

I swear I'd sell my soul to fix this if the devil didn't still have that restraining order against me. And I actually had a soul

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

This song, while the specifics are not exactly right feels exactly what I feel like doing with my life in general right now. Just throw it all f*****g away in one big outburst of rage.

But I won't. Here it is, anyway,.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUNbJVS6csU[/youtube]

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

And I've sat up all night drinking beer and crying about my oldest son. And here's the kicker. The real kick in the balls about the whole thing. She accuses me of attacking her with knives. I did not. She was not cut or hurt. I stood on the other side of the bar, with a handful of soapy silverware to go in the dishwasher, and I'm sure there might have been a knife or two in there, butter knife that is, and I pointed it at her, cause my hand was full and said "Let me hear you threaten him just one more goddamned time!" and it was on. That was totally it other than yelling at each other. She told everyone I attacked her with knives and now she won't let my son have anything to do with me. Everybody else there that night even said no, I did not attack her with knives. It has been three motherf****ng years.

Turn the clock back to 7 years ago. An 18 year old boy who was my older sons friend was flirting with and talking dirty to my oldest daughter who was 12 or 13 at the time. I kinda beat his ass by banging his face into the desk repeatedly and then the next two times he showed up at my house I actually did chase him with a big ole butcher knife, right up the road. Almost caught him once too. Now,. oddly enough, about a year after that happened he was fine with me. We are totally fine with each other and I actually did attack him with knives. Unlike pointing at the stupid b***h with soapy cutlery.

Part of me wants to just get about 6 big strong boys to bring him here in bungee cords and duct tape, put him on the coach and wait for Stockholm syndrome to either set in or leave cause that b***h had it on him.

But I cant take this much longer. That boy has to straighten up.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Wow,sorry you have so much BS going on right now.
My son and his girl friend fight like cats and dogs.
After fighting with my ex for twenty odd years I don't even want to get involved in their drama.But I still worry.They are both hot heads.

I'm sure some people always have it worse, but it sounds as if you have a lot going on that is not positive. It's amazing when companies make it difficult to pay them, seriously what is so hard about taking a payment for services. I'm uncertain of if I can say anything helpful, but I hope you find peace with what is going on in your life. Also scream away.