Do people ever get this angry with a family member?

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I vow not to go to the funeral of my aunt.

Am I overreacting?

I think this situation warrants this.

I'm not sure I follow you. You're passing on the funeral of your aunt and your family is angry with you about that?

I am so angry with my aunt, that when she passes I am telling myself that I will not be attending her funeral.

I am not telling her this.

why are you so angry at her?

Nothing she did to me.

It is her selfish and unbearable personality.

When I was 12 my paternal grandmother indirectly said that my mother wasn't good enough for her son. That immediately killed any feelings I had towards her, and when she died 8 years later I felt no sorrow at all (indeed I thought something I'm not even gonna say) and I didn't attend her funeral, and almost 16 years later I haven't visited her grave, and I don't see that happening either.
So, yes, I too have that negative feelings towards a family member.

I also have a negative view towards two of my cousins, one because he for whatever reason CBB to reply to my emails (and no, I'm not bombarding him with them, I think I've sent him no more than 2, tops 3 since we got email years ago, so it's not that I'm being a PITA) and now I wouldn't bother responding to him if he got in touch with me. The other cousin is someone who won't respect a personal choice I have made so I'm better off without her.

It should be added that I was never close to any of them.

Your choice not to attend the funeral is a personal decision, that should be respected by others.

Hey, at least you know that she died. My family never bothered to inform me when my mother and my sister died! I only found out after the fact when an acquaintence told me.

OMG that's terrible, AspieWolf!

I agree with not attending a funeral for funeral's sake....the only solid reason for attending one is probably if we love the person, want/need to say goodbye or pay respects. I don't have any family members that I hate but I do have an uncle who treats me like I'm a worthless idiot and there's no end to that hurt, since I have always looked up to the guy.

From my point: Your aunt will be dead then, so if its about her it doesnt matter if you go to the funeral or not. There is simply a dead body, that cant care anymore if you are there or not.

But what you maybe should think of, that visiting funeral is more something you do for the remaining living. So I couldnt care less, if my father died, and couldnt care less for his funeral. But it will be a hard time for my mum, and I would feel bad about letting her alone, when she definitly would need shelter around that time.

So when its about funerals, think less about the dead ones - it doesnt matter for them anymore, but you should do that choice by thinking if there are living people, that might need your help and shelter then.

I thought of this as well.

Then I would be doing something I don't want to.

However, the reality is that other people should understand and accept the fact I had major issues with her and it should not affect with my relationship with them.

Unfortunately, people don't think this in this rational way.

If you don't attend her funeral, you run the risk of being angry with her for life. I think it would be helpful to YOU to attend so you can bury this anger with her.