Anyone ever had to move away?
This has been a rough year for my family and I. We have been having financial troubles and it seems imminent that our house will go into foreclosure. We have lived here since I was little and the news has me feeling blue. I love this house and to me the thought of losing it is unthinkable!
I am not so concerned about the normal stresses of moving such as packing, more so the loss of the only home I have ever known. It feel as if If I'm mourning the death of of an old friend and I'm having trouble accepting the inevitable. Fortunately, we do have another place lined up to move into and it's only a few miles away.
I'm hoping someone might understand the feeling. I have so many memories here and I really don't want to leave!
I know the feeling and i have moved 8 times my whole life,the first time i moved i was around 2 or 3 and then i moved the second time when i was 5 or 6 and its almost as if every year or two i have to prepare myself mentally to move house because i have trouble fitting in new places that i have been living in for more than two years.
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BirdInFlight
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I am not so concerned about the normal stresses of moving such as packing, more so the loss of the only home I have ever known. It feel as if If I'm mourning the death of of an old friend and I'm having trouble accepting the inevitable. Fortunately, we do have another place lined up to move into and it's only a few miles away.
I'm hoping someone might understand the feeling. I have so many memories here and I really don't want to leave!
I went through exactly this with my family home in my late teens. Like you, it was the only house I'd ever known, and I loved the place. Oddly, all through my childhood whenever I'd heard of anyone moving house, it seemed to me like the most nightmarish crisis imaginable, even though I'd not yet ever experienced it. It was always my greatest fear for some reason.
And for me too, at that time it wasn't even about the packing, etc, just the loss of the house I loved.
I got through it and we all settled into the new place; I think I just had to be very resigned that it was happening, I had no choice, and that was that -- but it was very painful, I can't lie, even though I accepted and adjusted.
I later made the most profound move of all -- emmigrated! That one was easy though because it was an exciting choice, a happy move, a decision made by myself for happy reasons, and everything went well, too.
Flash forward to the most recent years -- I moved back, but things went wrong (the situation I moved back FOR collapsed, badly) and it was the worst trauma of my life, in a life where I've got a fair few! But that was an unusual case where something went about as badly as it could go.
For you, moving from the family home is going to be sad and I know it's really a wrench emotionally, especially "on the spectrum." Try to let your family know you need a bit of extra emotional support with this. I hope they can understand that while it's a wrench even for NTs (moving house is on the top ten list of stress factors for even the general population), it's even more devastating for someone on the spectrum.
I'm still terrible with change like this, even though I've now had to move many times over the years -- rent going too high, a problem with a landlord/other tenant, and of course an emmigration in my particular case. But I've come to realize I need to be doing everything I can to not have to go through a whole lot more of that kind of thing. Rootedness and "staying put" has always been incredibly important to me (even despite the fact that I've actually been and ex-pat AND a re-pat -- but I've paid a costly emotional price in those upheavals, and should in fact never have undertaken at least the last one...)
But, yes, my first move regarding my family and I simply going to a different house was a big one to handle....So try to appeal for help with it. I can say that it felt like my worst fear come true when the family move happened to me but if I could get through it and embrace the new family home, I think anyone could. I know how heartbreaking it felt though, and I wish you all the best. It will be okay in the end, I promise.
auntblabby
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PrncssAlay
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Joined: 17 Apr 2013
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 321
Location: Midwest, Southwest, Northwest, California
I'm still grieving for the loss of the falling-down old farmhouse where I was born and lived for my first eight years. Even though we moved only a quarter-mile down the road to a new house. I still (sort of) haven't forgiven the neighbor who bought the old house and tore it down to build his new one.
When I was 10, I had to move from my childhood home from Maine to my present home in Ohio due to my parents' divorce. I'm not upset about moving because of the divorce (my father was abusive towards my mother), but because of the fact that I miss my friends I made back there. I had one male friend my age that I admit having a little crush on, but moving away made me miss him sometimes. But things did get better, and I eventually found a sweet Aspie boyfriend.
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I am not so concerned about the normal stresses of moving such as packing, more so the loss of the only home I have ever known. It feel as if If I'm mourning the death of of an old friend and I'm having trouble accepting the inevitable. Fortunately, we do have another place lined up to move into and it's only a few miles away.
I'm hoping someone might understand the feeling. I have so many memories here and I really don't want to leave!
I went through exactly this with my family home in my late teens. Like you, it was the only house I'd ever known, and I loved the place. Oddly, all through my childhood whenever I'd heard of anyone moving house, it seemed to me like the most nightmarish crisis imaginable, even though I'd not yet ever experienced it. It was always my greatest fear for some reason.
And for me too, at that time it wasn't even about the packing, etc, just the loss of the house I loved.
I got through it and we all settled into the new place; I think I just had to be very resigned that it was happening, I had no choice, and that was that -- but it was very painful, I can't lie, even though I accepted and adjusted.
I later made the most profound move of all -- emmigrated! That one was easy though because it was an exciting choice, a happy move, a decision made by myself for happy reasons, and everything went well, too.
Flash forward to the most recent years -- I moved back, but things went wrong (the situation I moved back FOR collapsed, badly) and it was the worst trauma of my life, in a life where I've got a fair few! But that was an unusual case where something went about as badly as it could go.
For you, moving from the family home is going to be sad and I know it's really a wrench emotionally, especially "on the spectrum." Try to let your family know you need a bit of extra emotional support with this. I hope they can understand that while it's a wrench even for NTs (moving house is on the top ten list of stress factors for even the general population), it's even more devastating for someone on the spectrum.
I'm still terrible with change like this, even though I've now had to move many times over the years -- rent going too high, a problem with a landlord/other tenant, and of course an emmigration in my particular case. But I've come to realize I need to be doing everything I can to not have to go through a whole lot more of that kind of thing. Rootedness and "staying put" has always been incredibly important to me (even despite the fact that I've actually been and ex-pat AND a re-pat -- but I've paid a costly emotional price in those upheavals, and should in fact never have undertaken at least the last one...)
But, yes, my first move regarding my family and I simply going to a different house was a big one to handle....So try to appeal for help with it. I can say that it felt like my worst fear come true when the family move happened to me but if I could get through it and embrace the new family home, I think anyone could. I know how heartbreaking it felt though, and I wish you all the best. It will be okay in the end, I promise.
Thank you for your kind words. Reading the responses that this thread has gotten has actually been quite inspiring. My family knows how hard this is for me and unfortunately they don't want to leave the house either. The mortgage payment skyrocketed and we just simply can't afford to stay here anymore. I'm still struggling with the reality of it all, but I'm trying to stay positive.
DragonKazooie89
Deinonychus
Joined: 12 May 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 391
Location: Northern Utah
We'll move again next year after my dad retires because the cost of living in California is too high.
I definitely know how you feel. I'm actually here in California and the cost of living just isn't sustainable.
I feel like I could write a book on moving. Half of my life was spent moving. To break it down for you, here's how it went:
1975 (when I was 3/4 years old): 3 times
1979: 1 time
1980: 1 time
1981: 3 times (the first one I was unaware of because I had been in the hospital after having my tonsils removed)
1982: 1 time
1983: 2 times
1996: 1 time
1997: 1 time
2004: 2 times
2006: 1 time
2012: Nowhere really, had to put everything in storage units and live with a cousin for over a month
2013: 1 time
See what I mean? So, I feel everyone's pain where moving is concerned, probably more than most.
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"Wherever you go, there you are."
I can remember moving away when I was 13 and it was the house I grew up in since I was three. It was going to be sad leaving it and we were living in a house that would be a lot smaller and it was meant to be temporary until they get a new house built. We ended up living in that house for three years. Other places I have lived in didn't feel sad for me. I was too little to understand when we were moving when I was three and living with my Dad's friend for two months. Then when we moved out of our small house when I was 16, it was exciting because the house was so darn small. Then when I was nearly 20, I moved out and it was also exciting because I would have a place of my own and not worry about my brothers and other peoples messes and the noise and the parties. In my twenties, it was always exciting because my ex boyfriend's apartment was filled with mold and had water under the home and then I was happy to find my own apartment than living with my aunt and uncle and then we moved into a house which is a lot bigger an exciting. Now our kid will have a yard and a big house to play in.
So 1998 was the only sad move I had.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
