asperger and empathy meditations

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i'm a bit worried i have so called "empath" from when i was born resulting me in having no feelings shown. in addition our country is that way that they are controlling people to be "normal", so i lost my emotions with cigarettes and hide everything for a long time until i lost what i was able to do to stress down, so then i started meditation and then got guided into a institution and this added a lot of stress to me cause lots of sick people around, same with hospitals, but i didn't know what the stress was, so now something is happening with my stomach and i constantly got the fuzz in my brain. i worry that i can feel others emotions and that every time i point to a map or something i can feel what's on it, but i cannot really make out that i'm right. it can be sensitivity but i atleast aren't truthful about my emotions, and there is things left to meditate on to be recovering fully. did someone else try this to do cognitive therapy treatment? i constantly sweat, or go to toilet, or maybe it's a stress stomach. i also most of the time at nights get a breakdown, i thought maybe it was someone who was sick who was on my radar but i'm not sure, i feel people being alone possibly or something? i couldn't stay alone with this.

I know what you're getting at. It's a constant uphill battle, finding the ability to trust what you can guess is going to happen enough to act on your heightened intuition. What I can tell you is that no amount of nicotine (an Alkaloid stimulant) can truly shake off your emotions, but also that you haven't exactly buried them either. All your emotions are intact, but it seems you're experiencing them rearranged. Like me, you are a very likely candidate for Alexithymia, which is basically what I just described. Since reading into my mental condition more, in a scientific way, my physical symptoms (which related to your own) have declined. Feel free to message me if you'd like to discuss it at length.

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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I am not sure I understand the situation.

Is it that you are, or were, an Empath? That is you are very sensitive to other peoples feelings, So much so that when people tell you how they feel it affects you like you almost feel them yourself. ?

I'm the same. I never know whether it's real what is happening to me. It's a bit of a worry sometimes.

Eventhought I am a realist and pretty much down to earth I wonder if it is possible to aborb emotions from other people.
Or is this complete nonsense?

I'm very sensitive.