Oh you'll find someone

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I feel patronized by people saying to me. Oh you'll find someone. I know, what are they meant to say? A tiny piece of me wants acknowledgement of this little piece of sadness in my heart. I have been informed that I am the last of my group of friends I grew up with to be the single one. It's just me now tagging along with couples. Yey... not.

Do you actually put yourself in situations where you can meet new people? Meeting new people through friends you've had for years gets harder and harder the older you get.

No, I just feel like I'm such a weird person that no one actually likes me. Low self esteem is a huge obstacle when meeting new people. Plus I feel like when I try and make small talk it sounds forced and unnatural. I'm just too weird. I know people who I think are weird and I don't like them. I assume I am one of the weird people no one likes.

That's all I get people saying to me too. I keep worrying about what would happen if my relationship suddenly ended with my boyfriend, how lonely I would go back to being, how isolated and worthless I would go back to feeling, how depressed I would be watching my teenage cousins around me socially succeed and doing this and that with their mates and boy/girlfriends. Now I have the chance to do this and that with my boyfriend too, he's already suggested going on a vacation, just the two of us, next year some time. I really want that to happen. And when I tell people how I fear of losing that, I just get ''oh you'll find someone else''. Also I get the ''join clubs and meet people that way'' s**t as well. Joining clubs don't work on me, I've tried a few and I just sat there extremely shy in a corner while all the narcissist type of people got all the attention, even though we were all socially awkward.

No one can say you will find someone. Nor can they say you won't.

Autistic is not weirdness. Its a handicap just like a bum leg. Weird is someone purposely doing/saying distorted things. People who can't distinguish between the two are simply uneducated on autism (and probably the rest the mental conditions) or maybe they don't care much.

I think people are like locks. There are always others who hold a key that will work to open it. Some are closer matches then others maybe but a certain proportion are close enough to open the lock.

What I mean is that there are others similiar enough and to whom your personality will be a good match.

I don't really think much of searching specifically (like going to a bar or joining a singles group, etc.). I would rather be on another persuit that brings me in contact with new people. That way the persuit is mainly the thing and I am not on the spot to have to make small talk. But the proximity brings you in contact, and maybe you find someone who is interesting to you or maybe someone who seems interested in you.

Persue your vocation, persue an interest but not some stay at home or behind a computer type. Those lead nowhere usually. Something you want to do? Something you want to achieve? Places you wish to see?