New armchair diagnoses constantly

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I haven't had any particularly valid reasons to start a thread lately (which wouldn't unduly worry the regulars here) so here we go. I'm Aspergers/HFA or whatever and probably Alexithymic or PTSD'd. This started, as far as I can remember, with quite a number of people in my high school thinking I had OCD. Or something ridiculous like Schizophrenia. Or ADD. Or mutism. Or full-on Autism. And that's not quite everyone who was paying any real degree of attention. More recently, a friend said he could no longer discern any hints of ASD in my statements or actions. Then another said I could only be HFA and nothing else when pinning the usual 'genius' label on. Months later, a frenemy I share interests with accused me of being a megalomaniac. Then it was 'reactive personality', even coming from my own mother, as if that wouldn't be justified at this point... Most recently, I got into a minor argument over job interviews and our vacation interfering therein with my dad and his college friend said I was manic-depressive. This guy is in cluster computing, so basically he got away with demeaning someone capable of destroying his life's work. He has a son going into college (unlike yours truly) so my considerations lie with abandoning my own life's work (most recently computer security; glorified hacking). What I'm really asking here is how to separate the signal from the noise and systematically rule out these things the way I did manic-depression when I didn't try and destroy a $1 million plus lab supercomputer from my cell phone. Or just how the hell I can keep my head above it...

Last edited by cberg on 07 Aug 2013, 1:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

I voted yes. I get "social anxiety", "ADD" and "autistic" all the time, though the most common is "OCD". There have been many more, but I don't really remember at the moment.

Once my psychiatrist tried to diagnose me with ADHD, but my mom and I rejected that label because, although I have problems focusing on several different things (reading, watching TV/movies) I can spend hours doing other things (being on the computer, sewing, swimming)

Thing is, I'm not referring to officiated diagnoses - only misinformed ones, and how to counteract their corrosive implications. This isn't tied to my own experiences or sensibilities. Thank you both for being around in any case!

Ive been called many things, in derogatory fashion, growing up, ret*d, crazy, schizo, bipolar... yeah. Mostly by idiots. Although i can say my most memorable "armchair diagnosis" was one that was actually well intended, and i probably should have listened to sooner. I used to nanny for a little girl who was autistic, became close friends with her mother "T". Not long after T's daughter was diagnosed, T's mother was diagnosed, and if I remember correctly, so was T. T was the first person in my life to look at me and tell me I was autistic. There have been others, but there have also been the opposite, friends with aspergers who told me there was no way i was an aspie, i was too outgoing, too emotional. I looked people in the eyes too much. Irony on that one, is I have a major prob with eye contact, was forced in childhood to learn to fake it. (Any time i'm "making eye contact" I'm either looking just beside someone or unfocusing my eyes. Only way I could handle it.) I had a younger brother with severe developmental delays and autism, and my mother, comparing us, would say over and over there was no way I was autistic, even apparently pulled me out of a couple of counselors offices when i was young and it was suggested as a possibility. Learned for years to wear a mask in public, then come home and melt down. 15 years later i finally have a diagnosis, and am begining to understand myself, if that makes sense. If it weren't for T and my husband (who also exists somewhere on the spectrum, though not yet officially diagnosed) I would have probably given up.

Giving up is strictly ruled out for me, out of basic personal obligations to people who have it worse than me, pathologically speaking. Let's just say personal enjoyment is NOT the only reason I keep a fast car around, and my driving skills in practice for that matter. This is the bulk of why I'm looking for answers about keeping my head on straight from people who don't necessarily love me - I couldn't bear to burden my friends back in quaint old reality with all the hassles of the situation in my brain...

Yes, I notice it. It annoys me. It annoys me even more when people make armchair diagnoses of my kids.

What really infuriates me, though, are professional misdiagnoses. Almost always made by professionals who will not listen to what you, a lowly client, have to say.

People who don't know what they're talking about, or use conditions as derogatory epithets or ways to minimize or dismiss what you are saying, or to control you???

f**k 'em.

This falls squarely in both groups...
Oh how I wish that wasn't what I just dealt with face to face. Allegedly this guy even minored in psych! My head is spinning, already stayed up all night. *edit* And he just found the nerve to tell me there's no reason for that. To think just ten minutes ago I was considering a nap. But then someone had to ORDER me to take one. Just why this got called a vacation in the first place escapes me. Meditating on a beach was a high point but I never imagined it would be necessary. I've felt worse once before, but the root cause was no different.

The average man can diagnose someone. They are defining how your brain works.

doesn't mean they're right though. It took doctors 12 years to diagnose me correctly.

Defining how brains work is something I've been in the habit of leaving to professionals. I jumped on the bandwagon and went to sociopath out of reciprocity, as the person in question remained entirely detached and continued talking behind my back, when that was the way I heard his opinion in the first place. Suffice it to say I did a lot of walking...

Oh, yeah. I forgot "Sociopath" and "Psychopath"

Your reactions to people hitting sore spots of yours are no business of theirs. Being on the defensive is not a diagnosis in and of itself, but practically all NTs twist it in that direction.

It seems like this was the first time in my life I was measured up against a 50+ year old copy of the DSM

I don't really understand what you are trying to say, sorry!
People just say things to other people like, "Oh, LAlien must be some sort of psychopath! Or Sociopath!"
They are in no way concerned with the DSM! They don't even say it to my face, but my friend will tell me about what people say behind my back if I ask him.

The guy in question purported to have minored in Psychology, and is over 60 years old, to the best of my knowledge. However even if referenced haphazardly, the DSM stands to incur some harm if it's not subdivided well enough. Something that may be a spot-on, eye opening diagnosis for one may be a petty insult to another. What I meant is that no second person is really needed to validate any opinion, that's a basic principle of human rights.

For another thing, people keep disbelieving me when I tell them I'm on the Autism spectrum, like I've reasoned myself off of it or something. My cousin did last night! (No worries, he's still pretty much a brother) I think this centers on how up-to-speed people are in their definitions of neuroses, but all the same it can be unsettling at best and potentially life-threatening at worst. I've been asked if I was 'kind of like a savant' by more respectful people than some who might've predicted I was HFA. All this has me worried about blending in too well.