I am a magnet for two-faced manipulative people

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I really feel that I often meet someone who says that they understand me and they are there to be mentors for me. When it really boils down to things, it's only because they seem to want things from me. Then when they don't get what they want, they still continue to act friendly like throwing me through a loop. This can also include lying too.

Then I find out through one of my friends that this person really don't like me that much and seem to knit pick at my flaws. Like what I have to say, while telling me that they like what I say.

Is anyone else in here having the same problem who is on the spectrum?

Summer, some people deal with life by being master manipulators of others. I had a brother who was so smooth he could've persuaded Bloomberg to start smoking. He was as likeable and personable as I was unlikeable and unpersonable, and for a long time it tore me up. The one thing I did learn from him was how to recognize manipulators, and to avoid them. What I'm getting at is that avoiding manipulators is a skill we can learn--and one we would do well to practice on.

Having said this, it is important to keep in mind that friendship is reciprocal; a friend is one who will do for you, and you should do things for them in return. It's a matter of not being taken advantage of.

Good luck.

There is someone who I am dealing with right now who is likable and lots of fun but they wanted to use me for my Autism so that they could make themselves look important. I learned that it was not about me but about them even though they made it sound like they were not.

As for the two facing part, I found out through a close friend that they did not want to work with me because they were mad that I did not give them what they wanted on a certain project. I felt like they started the project and just started whining that after our second meet up.

There is also the fact that we don't work well with others; it's part of the social deficits thing. Though there was no such diagnosis as AS when I was young, I was aware that I did my best work alone. Consequently, I have always tried to choose my employment according to how much I would be allowed to work independently. Here are two examples:

While in the Navy, which is about as team-work oriented a profession as is imaginable, I went into intelligence so that I could work as independently as possible. On one assignment, I was the only enlisted person onboard my entire ship with the clearance I had. And since the officers had better things to do than to mess with me, I was largely left alone to do my job. And I kept my independent status by doing the job well.

Right now, I run a public library set up as a non-profit corporation rather than as a government agency. Though I am accountable to a board of trustees, they largely leave me alone because I do my job very well.

When I have had to work with and for others, things usually didn't go so well, and I usually found myself as baffled as you seem to be. As Temple Grandin has said, since we can't sell ourselves, we have to be able to sell what we can do.

I am deciding to work on the project alone like you are saying since I can do this at least once a week.

The other person who pulled this on me has supposed ADHD themselves and you know what a nightmare they can be. In fact, I am have noticed that several of them can be liars and real manipulators like that. They are also supposed to be so understanding of my situation and they are acting as nasty and any school bully that I have seen.

Though I'm not sure if it could apply to you in your situation, the other workplace strategy I recommend to aspies is to make sure you are the boss. This way, it become part of your employees' job descriptions to get along with you. And I never cease being pleasantly surprised at the way NT's can get along with us when they have to.

I just decided that my project would be created by myself and my friends who are all on the spectrum. That way I can talk about the subjects that I want.

Or you can do your project completely on your own, just the way you want, and not only take full responsibility, but full credit. It's a matter of making that old kingergarten demerit of "does not work and play well with others" work to our advantage.

I just love your ideas. In fact, just talking to you makes me feel better/

Thank you. I'm glad to hear I was able to make you feel better.

What kind of work do you do?

To tell you a little bit...

The person who had let me down like that had gotten in contact with me over the summer and wanted to me to look at doing a series of video blogs for Youtube. I thought he wanted me to do a series of blogs as someone living on the spectrum talking about things that are popular in the media and are going on in town.

It turned out that they wanted me to talk about living with Autism on a weekly basis and what I am doing with my life. So I was talking to my friend who told me the truth and he feels I should go with that person's idea.

Before the Internet, the quip was that freedom of the press was for those who could afford to own one. Of course, the Internet has changed all of that. Since the equipment is cheap now, you ought to do what you want.

So I want to know what you think about the idea of me just talking about experiences of talking about Autism instead of an Aspie going out and talking about things that I have discovered that I am interested in?

Do you think that the other person is being controlling or what do you think?

To me it sounds as if y'all just have diverging opinions. I can't see anything intrinsically wrong with either idea. Then, it's your life and your time. I too spend a lot of time talking about things I am interested in.

In my case, I think it is fine that they wanted me to talk just about my experiences and living on the spectrum but granted, I know nothing compared to what Dr. Grandin did at my age. I just have not really thought about giving advice like that.

One thing about Grandin to keep in mind is that she didn't become well-known for her autism, but for being autistic and accomplishing great things.