Rejected over talking too much

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Hi:

I have a problem with hogging a conversation a lot of the time and I am working so hard not to as well. I also struggle with hyperactivity and and I wish I did not have that even though it can have some upsides.

Because of this combination, I have been turned away because I tend to dominate the conversation during a serious time of someone else's life.

One of them:

1. A close friend of mine wanted to invite me to a cook out since at her father's house about three years ago. This was because her two nephews were in town with her parents. She knows that I love children. So she told me that she needed to ask her father first. She went ahead to ask him and called me and told me that I could not go after all due to another family friend being over there. This is because they have seizures and other stressful situations. Her father was worried that I was going to dominate the conversation and trigger the stress next to the two boys.

- When she told me, I cried on the phone and also smashed and open bottle of wine against my kitchen wall that year.

2. The second one is over a close friend's mother in the hospital right now due to a major heart condition which is unstable and a lot of talking would be too stressful for her. Plus the doctor wants to limit the number of visits right now.

While I am trying to be respectful to the newest situation, another part of me feels like those words hurt even though they were not intended to be. I am also trying to find ways to constantly improve myself and not be such a motor-mouthed Pinkie Pie. Yet, people tend to look at my flaw which I feel is so shallow of them but then again maybe it's just a low tolerance of their's.

Does anyone else experience this?

What capacity does the father in the first example know you in that he would feel the need to express concern that someone's 'excessive' talking would trigger someone's seizures?

I can understand the situation with the hospitalized friend; the doctor is limiting visits for a good reason (even though nurses constantly interrupt to poke,prod and draw samples)

If the initial friend herself had mentioned that the talking was an issue was it because it made her uncomfortable or was she trying to point out a social no-no? Have you mentioned that talking too much is the last thing you want to do and she could give you some kind of signal, or safe-word to let you know you're about to break a boundary? A real friend would do that.

It sucks to be told you aren't wanted there, especially after the fact. I've had it happen with a relatively popular 80s music celebrity who I thought I was builiding a rapport with and not acting like every other starstruck fanboy he'd ever encountered

1. The situation with the father and his family friend- I was over at their house 6 months before on Christmas Day and I was unaware that I was dominating the conversation. No one seemed to point it out to me but rather act like everything was fine to my face. It was during this mishap six months later that he had the guts to tell her when she asked him after feeding me the information. Now he did say that I could go over there on another occasion and that he did like me.

2. The current- I know my friend's mother doesn't dislike me in anyway. She has been generous and has been extremely accepting of me.

What bothers me again though is others happen to whine about how I talk too much an how it's too stressful for them at certain times. While I understand their side, it makes me feel really bad.

It is hard for me to realize when I am taking over a conversation as well, my mind moves so fast and the other person I am communicating with will more than likely not speak much anyways. I use my speech to get that person's attention and plus when people are together socialization is expected so I just talk about anything appropriate or not.

I remember I held a sleepover once and I talked so much the girl claimed to have had a mental breakdown from it when she returned home. I let other people talk of course but people are so poor at socialization now a' days I just get bored of them and play with my own words to paint an image in their mind.

If socialization is your outlet, I say keep on doing it People are unlimited and are probably dying to talk to you because it is rare to find anyone able to hold a conversation these days, let alone an one sided conversation.

I'm a talker.

So I totally get what you mean about taking over the conversation.

When I know I'm not supposed to talk but I feel compelled to, I put my tongue between my front teeth and bite down gently to hold it there.
That usually works, for a little while.