Nobody around me thinks it's worth it to try to get sex reassignment surgery. When I was about 8, I first read about sex reassignment surgery in a medical dictionary, and something inside me burned--it was raw, animal. I wondered when I would be able to get it. Fast forward to today, when I still have not gotten it, because I can't afford it. Everyone around me acts like they're being reassuring by saying, Oh, don't worry you don't really need it. Or people get all indignant and say things like, Welcome to the party, or, Hey, it's expensive. Deal with it. Then my parents are all like, Hey, just focus on getting stable. This is in reference to the breakdown I had last October which was directly caused by my inability to get surgery.
I want people around me to be more encouraging, but also helping with the means. Like my uncle, who lives in California and is gay. Why doesn't he let me move out there and find a job out there, an arrangement that would make it more likely for me to get surgery?
It seems everyone around me is opposed to the idea and the purpose of their actions is to stiff me. Why can't I get supportive people I can trust around? One reason might be my social anxiety and social anhedonia. Basically, outside of a small group of people I know well, mainly my family, I don't really have anyone, and I don't have the motivation to sustain such relationships.
Of course, why can't I just save? The answer: Executive dysfunction.
So basically, I'm stuck.
