woodster wrote:
had the same situation growing up.
Kinda makes me sick to hear your grandmother "doesn't want to upset anyone by choosing me or him". Even though she's essentially chosen sides by allowing it to continue.
Step-parents resent children from previous relationships. Nothing you say or do is ever going to be right. He probably doesn't even know himself why he's doing it, and excuses his own actions in his head by blaming you.
They shout at you and pretend its for your own good but the things they shout at you for says otherwise.
My stepfather used to have me sitting there while he raged for hours at a time.
What was it used to say? Erm, crap like " the world doesn't owe you a living". Omg, just thinking of those ridiculous words makes me annoyed. He was a complete tool.
My aunt has told me since ive grown up that she used to watch him as he sat in the kitchen as i came home from school, and he would zero in on me watching my every move, waiting for me to make a wrong one so he could have a go at me for it. He would look for problems so he could indulge himself and do the thing he enjoyed the most, let off steam by having a go at me.
He would always be just on the line so nobody would ever say anything.
The sad thing being that when you're in a position like that, under a spotlight, you do end up stepping over the line yourself occasionally and that just adds up to the long term aggro, he just feels more and more justified and sure of himself.
Someone needs to be made aware of the fact that as a child you have no way to get away from this toxic situation. Adults always know they have the option of walking away, children are TRAPPED and it feels like that. And also, you're so young that just a short amount of time living like this is like a living nightmare that just goes on and on. 5 years might not seem much to an adult but as a child it's forever.
Tell him that the way he's going at you is bordering on abuse. I wouldn't have thought something like that would work but sometimes when you label someone it makes them think twice about what they're doing. Especially with how people are starting to see things like that.
You really need to deal with this. I can tell you now that this kind of thing will mess you up. Even someone as mentally resilient as me, that sat there and was determined to not let him affect me, can't get through something like your situation without having at least some of it sink in. At the minimum a situation like yours will mess with your self esteem, make you think you're worthless that nobody ever did anything about what was going on.
Whats your mother like? Passive?
My mother worships him, she's a bit of a suck up to be honest.
I've spoken to a lot of people at school about it, nothing's really helped, I'm seeing my psychiatrist later this month so I'll tell her about it.
I'm seriously about to flip at him soon...
_________________
The Glass is half full when I've poured it like that.
It's only half empty when someone drinks or spills it.
12 Nov 2013, 6:10 pm
