My MIL ust bought a $800 bum washer....

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...which she can't use.

Long story.

My MIL is bipolar. O dear, you say, poor woman.

Except my father-in-law (and my husband) always looked after her, covered for her, and cleaned up after her. My MIL in return verbally, emotionally , financially (and sometimes physically ) abused my father-in-law. he was constantly hen pecked.
She would go off her medication, overdose, and self harm.

Then the poor man got Alziemers. Instead of stepping up and looking after him , she berated him for being stupid. Insteadi of looking into assisted care, she moved them both into a swish over 50s resort. When he got worse she went off her meds and started drinking. When my husband would pour her grog down the sink and clean the place up she would sent her husband (demented husband!) to walk down the freeway and get her more. She'd self- harm and we would get her to a clinic. She'd sign herself out and the cycle would start again.

That was a few years ago. My husband managed to get them both into a nursing home. They monitor her meds and keep her sober.

Last night she rings requesting my husband to ring her regarding her "wefare".

Turns out she bought a $800 bidet. She lives in a nursing home, and can't work out why they won't let her install it. She wants to move out of the facility because they make her take her meds, and won't let her install a bidet .
She says she can look after herself, or get a carer. Hubby reminded her how that went last time, and how quickly she goes through friends, and how he is no longer going to pick up the pieces. And if she goes through with this , she's on her own.

Phone is off the hook......

I've worked in nursing homes for years so this sounds like an all too familiar story. Poor folks. My heart really goes out for them but some of them are so confused you just have no choice but to reinforce to them that, well, this is it. The final frontier. I suppose the bidet can be returned and she'll get her money back. How did she order it anyway? She has access to an online computer? I wish them both luck.

Is there in your country no possibilty, to become someones official "guardian" by law? My grandaunt, got as well slowly into dementia. Most of the time she was absolutely fine, and then sometimes she had weird moments. After these moment happened more often, and as example an door-agent convinced her to get an (around the 90ies very expansible) ISDN-contract, when she didnt even have a computer, they became their "guardians by right". It means that they had right to cancel contracts (buying something is as well a sort of contract) she did. So she was still able to do her everyday life, but if someones tried to abuse her weird moments, by convincing her to spend money on weird stuff, my parents could simply tell them to f**k off and cancel those contracts. So he didnt interfere with minor stuff as if she bought some skirts for her already died husband or tons of little porcellans angels on street markets that she then had no place for and needed to store them in the gardenshed or whatever, but it simply was to keep her safe from people, trying on purpose to abuse her sometimes mental weirdness. (Like a sanitary shop, trying to sell your mom an 800$ bidet, that she is anyway not allowed to install. O_o )