Is my future hopeless?

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I just realized today that I am a useless human being, literally. Nobody wants me to exist. :/
- I'm ugly, people laugh at me all the time.
- I'm an idiot, so i can't make up for my being ugly with my brain.
- I'm socially awkward, I've gone in for a few job interviews and really I just made a fool of myself.
- I can't play any sports well.
- I have no talents or special abilities. I can't write, draw or do anything special.
- My body shape is ugly.
- I have a very off putting personality, I'm shy and I have no friends online or offline.
- The only thing I do is go on the computer anymore, I'm afraid to go outside without a scarf over my face because I'm getting sick of people laughing at me.
- I'm just unmotivated about anything in general, I do not care about anything besides my appearance and making money for plastic surgery.

Everyone is smarter than me, or prettier than me, has a better personality than me,etc.. why did I get so short-changed?


It just seems like my future is hopeless, I don't know what to do.

You sound really depressed. Have you mentioned these feelings to your doctor? There could be help out there for you.

Another thing is that I have noticed (not with you specifically, I have never met you) sometimes a smile makes a big difference. I know it's really hard for some people to smile, and I am one of those people. I have seen first hand how putting on a smile, regardless how awkward it may be can change how others recieve me. Having some confidence helps too. Neither of these are possible with someone who is clinically depressed....

If you can deal with your emotions on the inside, it will be easier to look more content on the outside and people will not have such negative reactions to you. It's hard to argue with confidence. It's a win/win situation.

Have you ever heard of self fulfilling prophecies? It sounds like you have made up your mind to be negative.

Hello Kitty, welcome to our club I noticed it says on your profile that you are into fitness and swimming so I am guessing your body shape is better than you give yourself credit for.

This is very likely too.

Another thing common in ASD is misperceptions. Both of my kids are also ASD, the youngest assumes that when someone is talking as he walks by, that they are talking about him in a negative way. It's very upsetting for him. This started when he was not even 2 years old. I have to reassure him all the time that they are most likely not talking about him. It's tough though, because of the stink eye (and sometimes angry words he says but that was moreso when he was a toddler) he gives random strangers who weren't talking about him, they suddenly actually are.

So, there's that self fulfilling prophecy. We reap what we sow.

I automatically assume others are talking about me as well. the old saw about how "neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them, and shrinks collect the rent" applies richly to me.

No, I'm not imagining anything. I heard people say things like "she's fugly," while standing right in front of me, and people yelling back at me when I walk by asking me if I'm a boy or a girl, people saying things like "I bet she has a sparkling personality," while I'm on the bus (and I was the only other person on the bus). Like I'm legitimately ugly. I need plastic surgery if i ever want to be able to date. My body shape makes it very hard to be aesthetically pleasing no matter what weight I am, really.

Yes and I'm seeing a counselor soon, but to be honest I think it's going to be useless because the only real reason I'm as depressed as I am is because I am ugly. If i could go outside and do things without being laughed at I actually might want to do things. People treat me like a piece of trash in public, a few people have literally laughed in my face, when I go to the gym the people that stand at the front desk laugh when I walk by and say things like "I'm guessing she's single."

Don't discount the counselor before you even get there.

The only other advice I can offer is to consider the types of people you have been encountering and the kinds of places they are in. Maybe, just maybe you can been going to the wrong places. Of course you're going to find smug, judgemental pricks at the gym.

Think of the kinds of people you would prefer to be around and then think of where they will be.

don't you just wanna slug those thoughtless bastards in their tittering slackjawed gobs every time you hear that crap from them? they would make me very angry.

Well, I don't go to the gym to socialize. I only go to work-out.

Right, all I am saying is that that's where a lot of self centered, heartless people are. If you choose to go there, and be around people like that (bullies,) even if you are not there to socialize, they are going to be themselves and you have to either choose to ignore their rude comments or find a nicer environment to work out.

Have you tried asking a good honest friend on beauty advise? I am not stunning but when I changed my hairstyle and what types of clothes I wore (and learned to layer) I received less insults and even some interest.

There are hair styles out there that are low maintenance for every face. For me I needed a perm and shoulder length but no shorter hair. Different cut of jeans accent my legs instead of the fact that I am flat as a board and have no hips. I have been mistaken for a 12 year old recently (pigtail lazy braids, batman hoodie with ears, torn up shoes, a minion from Despicable Me tee shirt visible underneath, and I just look ridiculously young, I am 26 almost 27). But if I dress like I did for lunch meeting today with the department heads I look older, professional, and cute even with a long face and giraffe neck.

I do not know what you look like, but I know you are not hopelessly ugly. And ultimately beauty fades.
I do not know if you have a region you adhere to, but in Proverbs in the Bible it says
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

Ultimately what is inside matters the most.

You do sound depressed. Do not discount the help your therapist may be able to give. Also do not discount anti-depressants if you need them.

I have been feeling like that a bit lately, but for somewhat different reasons. Partly the same, partly not.

The thing is this... People in the street rarely laugh at other random strangers they pass, yet it seems common to believe others do. There is a condition where someone imagines themselves being ugly, and they increasingly stay at home, avoid situations where anyone can see them, save up money for plastic surgery, etc. Yet if we were to look at that person, he or she would likely look totally normal, with their believed fault seeming utterly insignificant to us. You may be close to that if you don't care for anything anymore, except your appearance and making money for plastic surgery.

Just like nebrets, I think you sound depressed. The counselor and medication could be a good idea, even if it is your appearance that make you depressed you're still depressed... Even if your appearance is your main problem and causing the depression, being less depressed would make it easier to work on your appearance, going to the gym, looking at clothes, and so on... Either way you win.