Passing Me By...

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I don't know about any of you but for me it just feels like everything is going at a million miles an hour.

I started working in the summer and while I'm happy I have a stable job security, everything has just been a blur. First of all I can't believe it's already been a half a year. I'm 22 and I still live at home as I try and save up for an apartment in a year or 2 and I am looking on purchasing my 1st car in the spring, so I definitely have some exciting days ahead. I have a good amount of friends as well and we hang occasionally so everything seems so well but I'm still feeling down.

Now at times my friends can be busy...and in those moments, I really don't know what to do. After doing things around the house, cooking, washing clothes, doing other stuff, I can't figure out what to do. The thing is I don't have have anyone. I'm still seeking a relationship with a girl and the thing is most of the time my friends aren't available because of their own girlfriends.

Now if anyone remembers my name, you definitely have seen me on this topic for a while...4 years to be exact. I don't have to explain much, I've never had a girlfriend...that is even a close friend.

Why I bring this up is I just feel empty. I go to my job, come home, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat. Yes I do some exciting things at times but I sit here and think that precious time is escaping me.

I'm missing out on a lot and I just feel pressure seeing everyone around me having success and having fun on a daily basis. To me it's going by 100 million miles per hour and it's gotten to the point where I just feel like ceasing and thinking that I will live the rest of my life in this mundane way.

I don't know, does this make any sense? I've just been feeling this way ever since my grandmother got sick. She was fine, healthy and all of a sudden in a matter of 2 months she is in a nursing home, making multiple trips to the hospital and deteriorating. Even before I was starting to feel like this but I think this has given me perspective on how short life is.

This is why I feel I need to have this happen soon. I worry about the future and what my state will be. Before you know it, I will be 23 and it's one year closer. I know people say "be patient" and stuff but the way I feel everything seems like it's passing me by quick and I don't want to have any regrets.

I don't know really, if you have any perspective on this please lend your insight, I would appreciate it. Thanks

First I have to say I don't have Aspergers. Well maybe some trait hrs but, not any significant enough to ever be diagnosed or to even understand what a true Aspie feels like. But, I was married (now widowed after he commited suicide in 2011) to a man that I do believe had Aspergers and our 7 yr old daughter has been diagnosed now. I believe he went undiagnosed and that was a major role in our marriage failing. Not because he had Aspergers but, because we didn't know and I didn't understand.

Anyway, this all ties in to your post because, he used to have major issues with worrying about how much time had passed or been wasted rather without any significant accomplishments towards his goals. This all led up to him becoming very depressed and questioning what I was doing with money and many other things. I have no reason to lie to you so pls trust me when I say, I was a faithful wife and NEVER took advantage of how hard he worked to provide a very good living for me and our two daughters.

But, I guess what I want to say to you is, maybe a relationship while you're still dealing with what's going on with your grandma isn't the best thing for you now. You also sound like you have some really obtainable goals set and a relationship might well result in those goals being delayed and eventually even the possibility of you resenting whomever you were to become involved with. Obviously, my own experience with my husband makes me feel like this and I'm not suggesting you put off a relationship or anything but, just take everything into consideration.

It almost sounds like you may not be actively seeking the attention of a girl as well. I mean have you asked anyone out? Met anyone you might be interested in? Are you allowing or putting yourself not situations where you can meet potential GFs? In order to find someone, you really need to be out there and not necessarily looking but, at least making yourself available. Maybe join a dating service or something. Idk how I'd put myself out there actually but, I'm going on 42 and really don't think I'll ever be able to allow myself to feel that way again. I loved my husband so very much and I will always be "in love"
With him so my circumstances are very different from your own.

My advice too is don't rush. Yes before you know it, you'll be 23 then 24 and so on. You certainly don't want to get stuck in a rut but, things do take time unfortunately. My 7 year old has a major issue with time too. She often gets very annoyed with me as I'm disabled too (physically from nerve damage in my left leg) and I can't move at her pace lol. But, I don't know how REALKY to explain to her. I'm not even sure it would matter if I did since she tends to see things very one sided and that side is usually her way.

Well I hope you don't give up and that one day you find your true love and that happiness and companionship we humans ALL seem to crave.

people these days are marrying later and later, getting their lives settled first. you are putting lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself. date. have fun. get to know yourself and other people.

I think its a good in a way that you realize the value of time. Also its good that you are working and managing your affairs in a logical way, and with a plan. Use this mental pressure you talk about to focus your energies upon doing what is necessary to meet someone, and to be someone they would like to meet. Frankly, it would be better to have your own place, your own car and independent life, so be sure to keep those goals on the front burner. Keep the horse in front of the cart.

^ very well stated.

I often feel a lot of pressure to. I always wanted a family but have never been married at 31. Men with potential seem to be in short supply to. I am trying to return to school, not because I want a better job, but because I feel the need be able to afford artificial insemination and child care. Never wanted to be a working mom but I feel like I am running out of time.

Yeah trust me I have been trying. I've been rejected a few times already, you know just asking to go to lunch or something and then I had a weird experience with my best friend's girlfriend's best friend (confusing enough) where they tried to set me up and she bailed because I wasn't African-American or Hispanic (she went to school in Florida so she was used to dating those races recently)

I don't know, I've just never been good at talking to girls. Being a ghost in high school really deprived me of getting any practice and while I had a few acquaintances in college, I seriously ran into a ton of bad luck.



That's what I'm trying to do...I want to have a bunch of fun, I'm in my 20's, it should be the time of my life but nothing special has happened. Lol trust me marrying would be something I wouldn't do until I'm in my 30's.



I do try this but my fault is that like I stated before, I haven't had much practice on this. I've just never gone the next step. I don't even think I've ever initiated flirting with someone. What's also weird is that many of my friends are still living at home but there girlfriends don't even care about them not having their own place. I don't think there is a problem but the general conception is that girls don't like the mama's boy.

Things never have come easy to me so maybe that's it but anyway I really appreciate everyone's help on this, thank you all for taking time to read my post and offer your advice.