Hungry for understanding

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Sometimes I feel lonely, but it's not for companionship but to just be understood. I've been lucky enough to find it on a rare occasion, where a brief look appeased more than hours of conversation could never touch. Any thoughts? I get upset sometimes, because it seems like I'm searching externally for relief from internal qualms.

I've found more understanding here than anywhere else. We seem to think alike, having AS.

Oh yes, I can relate. That's why I feel so lonely amongst "ordinary" people, since my perception of life, seems completely alien to theirs. So I can feel this void between us, even if we like and share the same interests. I suppose it's why I still come here, even over 5 years, after joining. I have a constant internal struggle myself, hence my signature, I guess. I know other people don't know what that struggle is like, and this makes longing for understanding even greater. I have found that therapy, especially group therapy helps, since others usually have some type of struggles to deal with as well. It may not be exactly the same but usually they're always willing to understand what you're going through.

Yeah, that's probably why I camp out here myself. I go through the motions IRL, but just end up annoyed and exhausted most of the time. I just want to cover my ears and say "please stop talking".

MjrMajorMajor, that's how I feel a great deal of the time too.
I've realized, painfully, that a solitary existence is safer than one in which I reach out to others. I'm working on a series of paintings to express this, because I don't explain it well with words. It was brought into sharp focus when a sibling who purported to understand me for the last 25 years, actually was just using me, and a few months ago the whole structure of the false relationship blew up. That person labeled me and my kids r-----s. I will not be communicating with them again.

I think I've come to terms with the fact now, that no one will ever understand me and I'll be on my own forever.

I'm not depressed about it or anything, in fact I'm quite happy about it at the moment.

It's nice to hear everyone's responses. I think my issue is compounded by a need to people please. I study other people to figure out what responses and actions they respond positively towards, and try to act accordingly. Some of it is necessary for self preservation and not making too many waves, and some of it is learning new social tools. It makes me feel lost, and a little needy, which I hate. I have a very lowly job, but it seems very important to have positive interactions and to stay informed through indirect networking(gossip). The euphemism is "being a team player", but I keep wishing for written memos and just being left alone. C'est la Vie.

^
Exactly this.
The hunger to understand and be understood makes me feel incredibly lonely and frustrated and depressed. I have begun to lash out, not good. I am exhausted from "acting the part"...a lifetime of learned behaviors...
I am fortunate to have a few things that occupy me but this particular loneliness is still eating at me...

^
Exactly this.
The hunger to understand and be understood makes me feel incredibly lonely and frustrated and depressed. I have begun to lash out, not good. I am exhausted from "acting the part"...a lifetime of learned behaviors...
I am fortunate to have a few things that occupy me but this particular loneliness is still eating at me...

(to OP)are you still married? Last time,I remember you had husband,
did you get divorce?