Burnt Out

Post Reply New Topic

Hey all

I'm not normally one to let myself feel down; in fact most of the time I fight it, and am usually the one you acts as the shoulder for others to cry on. I have been rather bothered more recently though, and feel like the weight of the world has been crushing me down a little. It's getting a little heavy to bear some days, and I just really wish I could have a break from it all.

My problem, is that my situation is so complex, and the only possible solution is to fight my way out of my situation; but this requires much patience, and I am wearing thin. There's too much juggling of things, compensating for second best scenarios, waiting for things to finally come in to fruition, and relying on the unreliable. It's incredibly frustrating, and right now I feel so powerless.

My family selfishly ignore my needs, while demanding I pay attention to their own needs, time and time again; though they'll never acknowledge this. The only reason I put up with them anymore, is because I currently have no choice, as I'm going through a rough patch, and the small amount of help they do provide, is only enough to prevent me from being homeless. I can't remember the feeling of love anymore...it's been a while since I've felt it being provided by someone other than myself.

I'm feeling down in terms of losing hope in the human race in general; mostly because I feel most people are only looking out for themselves; I've had to stop helping others, as every time I give them a hand, they try to bite my whole arm off. Just feeling lonely in general. I just wish people weren't so damn heartless. I guess I just need to know that there are good people out there.

Hey Heart, you have been experiencing life solely through the prism of neurotypical a**holes
there is another lenze you can look through

Can I lend you my sunglasses?
Don't bite my arm off!

Thanks syzygyish, I appreciate the gesture; and the humour

I hope you don't mind, but when reading people's words, the thoughts and emotions there, what comes to my head is often in the form of a more basic, or even primative comparison.

In your case, it made me think about humans and how historically we were social creatures living in extended family groups, something in fact like canine packs or ape groups. Over time we have gravitated together into larger communities and then almost ant-like cities, but much of our basic instincts still, I believe, go back to the earlier nature.

Your feeling drained seems to relate to the basic needs we have and what happens when they are not met. If they are not met by your companions or group then you are left trying to meet them as best you can yourself. Maybe with some this is enough, for among the many millions there are many variations. But I do not think that is the basic model we historically evolved upon and many if not most will find it unsatisfying.

I think about dogs who are quite selfish and competitive about food, yet evolving to work together and becoming more efficient at solving one basic need, sustenance. Yet even dogs have an emotional component and at night when they huddle together, they gain a sense of security and belonging from the physical contact.

We of course are more complicated and have a broader scope of needs. And although modern society can supply support for some needs, it does not meet some very basic ones. If you look for a sense of being valued, a sense of someone caring, etc, society, strangers or even aquaintences will rarely provide it, and even if they do, it is most likely temporary. Even friends often fail in the long run, although not necessarily by design so much as circumstance.

Again, I hope you don't mind this tangental approach. I do it when it seems to provide the clearest path to identifying the core issue, or problem. There are many things a random forum responder can not help with, but sometimes its useful to help narrow the problem down.

Hart,

I am sorry you are going through such a bad patch right now. I am glad, though, that you are able to stand apart from it all and observe the situation and your emotions, however icky it may all feel. I find that when I can do that then at least my head is still somewhat above water.

I get the sense that you are doing all the right stuff; my wish for you is that this period of exhaustion will soon be over.

Until then - hugs

Thanks Toy_soldier and Marky9, I appreciate your words.

And Toy, don't worry, I think much the same as you do. I have realised this idea, and though knowing it brings some comfort, it can also drive me a little crazy. The realisation that modern society doesn't accommodate my needs can be daunting, as I fear the prospect of a lonely future.

I am confident I will see through this rough patch, but sometimes the support of others is the difference between getting by, and reaching breaking point.

Hi there Hart.

Ha, thanks Toy

And thanks everyone. I'm feeling a bit better today. Allowed myself some Oreos, which always helps. I'll have to keep an eye out for those ninjas.

Hey babybird, haven't heard from you for a little while.

I'm sorry you're having to live in such an unhappy situation... From what you've written in other posts it sounds pretty miserable!

I hope you can find a happier alternative soon... In the meantime, hang in there!

[EDIT:] And I agree, Oreos make everything better!