What does being ignored mean?

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I feel like I've been asking myself this question since as long as I can remember.

When my older sisters used to do it (as older sisters do), my mother would tell me that meant that they just wanted to be left alone.
I assumed it was the same with most people. If I start talking and everyone stops listening, I usually just stop talking and walk away. I don't want to annoy people, and I do not want to talk to people that aren't interested in what I have to say. This has been my general way of dealing with this situation.

Sometimes I just feel like I get ignored a lot.

It's been a rough few months. My boyfriend of 3.5 years left me for another woman that he met while I was out-of-town for work.... he confessed that he was leaving me over email one week after he told me that he wanted to decide our wedding plans.

On top of that, about a month ago my (former, I guess) best friend got mad at me for not being supportive enough when she decided to break up with her boyfriend right before I had to catch a flight. I tried to help her as much as I could before I left town, but I had to go home for work. I guess she wanted me to quit my job just to spend all day listening to her cry, who knows. She does this to me a lot. Now she isn't talking to me.... neither are several of our mutual friends. I'm not sure if it's because she told them something, or if it's because they just never really talked to me much in the first place. Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that I am closer to people than I really am.

Then something very unexpected happened. An old friend of mine that I hadn't seen in years contacted me on facebook not too long ago. It was great to hear from him, but he sounded like he wanted to talk about his break-up too. He asked for my phone number and I hesitantly gave it to him. I was so tired of dealing with other people's drama, that I think I paused too long. I gave it to him though. He said thank you, and that he was spending Christmas and New Years all alone and that he wanted someone to talk with... but he didn't ever call. I found out a few weeks later that he had killed himself. I'm not sure if it was that night, or just after. It occurred to me that maybe there are people that have it worse. I should have thought about that. I probably should be thinking of that right now. I have no intention of killing myself, that makes me luckier than many.

I know that this is life, but it's something I don't have a skill set to deal with.
I feel pretty sad lately.

That friend's death would knock me over for a while.
Survivor's guilt might try to tell you it's your fault somehow, when it's not.

On being ignored or dismissed, I could probably write a book, but no one would read it.
I have theories on why things don't work, but it doesn't change anything.

I don't have any words of wisdom. I just felt like someone should acknowledge your post.
LIfe is hard sometimes.

yeouch.
At least you've got a cool forum name. Fern, clever, simple, and thoughtful. Extra points for it being a real word too!

Being ignored happens a lot to us. And it can happen for a lot of different reasons:
Like you said, -maybe wanting to be left alone.
-wanting to terminate the conversation
-disagreeing without saying so
-feeling intimidated
-not knowing what to say
-having something urgent to do
-poor social skills
-rudeness
-imagination on our part
-boredom
-monotonous speaking might lull them into a near trance
-missing the point
-thinking
-otherwise being occupied (reading or texting)
-not understanding what you're saying
-seeming rhetorical
-or finishing a topic so completely there's nothing more they can think to say about it
-not knowing how to change the subject
-thinking we're rude
-thinking we want to stop talking to them
-feeling stupid and embarrassed about it and wanting to leave
-being so romantically smitten by you that they cant think straight and want to die of embarrassment (yes, this does happen, more often than you'd think)

Also we're pretty good at choosing and staying very loyal to the type of friends who can be pretty socially spastic or even abusive.

Thank you so much for saying that. It really helps. I can't really sleep for some reason.

Often the better-known difficulties in our lives make decisions about how to respond to us very complex. I'm probably at least a decade younger than you, but I'm acutely aware of my bizarre life as the main cause of my friends' hesitation on the occasions they talk to me. I've had friends die all kinds of ways, one of them right in front of me. Word gets around, and people walk on eggshells. I'm among the weirdest folks you could ever meet, which is why I'm telling you to let things settle down and maybe host a party when they do.

I'm feeling a bit better today, albeit exhausted. I got a lot of work done, so I'm less stressed. Thanks for talking to me. Sometimes it's just nice to talk to someone.

Thank you! I was surprised when I was able to make it. When I was little my parents had a backyard full of tall ferns that would engulf entire paths and spaces between trees. I used to spend all of my time chasing lizards and beetles in them, pretending I was in a tropical forest. Now I get to work in a real tropical forest as part of my job. ...anyway, probably TMI

Hey! ... I'm just 8 years older than you! ... yeah, almost a decade since I was that age, isn't it? Now I feel old. haha, thank you for the support though.


Host a party? Now that I find rather terrifying. I've never been good at it. Usually no one shows up. Sometimes a guy or two who might be crushing on me, but not usually other people.