I hate my "best" friend (rant)

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To make a long story short, I've realized over the last while that I really only get along with my friends if I see them once in a while, like a few times a month at the most. During my last year of high school, when I was slipping into/slipped into my "hikikomori" phase, I isolated myself a lot more from other people, and didn't have the same level of exposure to friends and other people in general as I did when I was regularly attending high school.

Now, I'm living in a room in a friend's basement, and working, and it just so happens to be that my former best friend, who at one time was practically the closest person I had to a brother, works at the same store that I do. Now, I'm a cashier, and he works in the deli, so we don't cross paths that often, but when we do, he's usually socializing with his other friends, all of whom tend to be major extroverts, and are thus the complete opposite of me.

We occasionally have moments where we just kind of hang out and enjoy each other's company, but most of the time we're just on completely different wavelengths, and from what I can tell, lately he's been getting really frustrated by how lazy/immature/introverted/not-NT I am. I can partially blame the fact that up until his car broke down recently, he would often drive me into work in the morning, and I would often sleep in or take too long in the shower and run late, while he would always be "up and ready".

I'm not a goddamn morning person, and I can't function on four hours of sleep like you can, and my executive functioning skills suck, and I'm not a goddamn extrovert either, so can you please quit giving me grief? You used to tolerate my shortcomings, and like me for who I am, but now I'm having a hard time believing we were ever friends, and I f*****g hate you. I don't know what I'd do without you though, because at this point I don't know how I can find another friend who's willing to be close to me, another friend who can put up with me and enjoy being around me. The only friends i have who still enjoy being around me all seem to live out of town and only come down once in a while.

f**k, I hate my job, I hate my "friend", and in a lot of ways I hate myself as well. I hate therefore I am. I want to drop out of society and permanently book myself into a mental hospital. I've tried the "real" world, and now I know that I am not fit for it. Expectations, wages, bills, deadlines, cars, money, fashion, sex, drugs, relationships, and other complications. I am a child in a 20-year-old body, and I want my goddamn mommy.

If you're only clinging to your friend in some sense of desperation, then you need to let go. Sometimes you just have to weigh the pros and cons, and own the decision that follows.
Good luck.

I talked with him earlier on at work, we seem to be getting along ok now. I didn't really mention anything about the issues I've been having with him though, we just sort of talked about the upcoming Diablo III expansion, and this LAN party we might be going to this summer. I am getting into the habit of waking up earlier, so once he gets his new vehicle and starts driving me to work again, I won't have to worry so much about making him late to work. Of course, I am now more seriously thinking about learning to drive and getting my learner's permit, so that I can eventually get my driver's and go places myself rather than relying on others for transportation.