Bored and tired with life... leaving for Aspergia!

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Every day is a struggle towards independence and happyness... this much i've made peace with years ago.

I've done that my whole life and I took it in stride until now... I can't seem to push or force myself anymore... what now?

I don't want to get up every day just to work hard and spend it alone every day... I don't want to deal with people anymore... there is no joy or fun in talking to others or dealing with others... just pain.

I feel like i've spent my whole life resigned... just waiting on possibilities and promises that never materialize... effing sick of it.

I'm bored and tired of life.... don't want it anymore.... none of this. I'm considering quitting my job, leaving my tiny apartment and heading off to the city-state of Aspergia.... population 1... you can find it anywhere a lonely aspie exists in peace... out on a farm... rural areas... or wooded areas... offgridding never sounded as good to me as it does now.

the point of this rant? none.. just a rant

Once, a couple of years ago, I put your plan into action. I wanted to get away from it all so I packed up my things in a backpack, put the rest in panniers I'd created for my bike and I rode from NYC to upstate NY where I lived for days in a rural wooded area that was also a reservoir. No one I knew was there. I pitched my tent and lived for a while like a true hermit or mountain man. I eventually rejoined civilization when my food ran out.

I think we have all felt like this. I personally do all the time. When I am trying to sleep at night my "go to" scenario is from the Dick Pronneke show about how he lived alone in Alaska for 30 or so years. It's very peaceful to think of living like this.

If you're trying to get away from people, maybe try a big city. I know this sounds like what you are trying to get away from, but whenever iI go to NYC (I live a few hours away), I think it would be the perfect place to be annonymnous and lost. So many people you can be more alone there than in a small town.

I survive on several go-to scenarios as well.... things to take my mind away from reality... it is pretty helpful.

I live a half hour outside NYC... there is a certain sense of equality about being in a city where everyone is strangers to eachother... and the village even more so... many unusual looking/dressing people so that I don't stick out at all

the rent is way too high unfortunately... i currently live in a 500/month basement apartment in a bad area in jersey (likely not even legal)... I don't make enough for nyc rent that is usually well over 1000/mo