when will I ever learn?

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Am I the only person here who constantly has to ask myself that question because I keep making mental errors? Especially online. It frustrates me to no end some of the stuff I let escape from my mind and end up in some internet forum or Facebook posts. I go through about 3 keyboards a year for beating myself over the head with one after seeing some string of ridiculous syllables on some website or other.

Oh I do that allot, mostly when I get drunk though.
I go back later and go OMFG and delete it.
As for keyboards, I and my son go through like 4-5 of them a year, (each), from pounding on them mostly.
I am always looking in thrift stores and yard sales for new (used) ones, even mice, keep a stalk pile now.

Some of the things I find after I have had one of these spells look like 3200 word manifestos. I go through online acquaintances faster than Mr Monk goes through an industrial sized pallet of handy wipes. Nights are the worst for me. It would help a lot if I could learn not to let my triggers get yanked so easily. I dunno how I've lived this long without crawling up in some human nostril and knocking the snot out of them from the inside out as easily as I get yanked around online I don't know why or how I don't get physically yo-yo'ed also.

3200 words? is that all? gee thanks for making me feel even worse,