Depressed/pissed as hell right now

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mr_bigmouth_502
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09 May 2014, 2:52 am

I feel like a failure at life. I can't really put together proper paragraphs or sentences right now so I'm going to make a list of all the s**t that's bothering me:

- Right now I'm getting this impression from my friend's father that he doesn't like me much since my room's a disaster and I don't keep a proper sleep schedule
- I am making almost no forward progress in my current job and have had my hours cut back severely
- I only have enough money in my bank account to cover this month's rent
- I have had almost no motivation to find another job or go back to school despite tons of outside pressure to
- I have almost no friends aside from some casual acquaintances at work
- my internet is absolutely slow right now and if I try to play any multiplayer games I get ping spikes out the wazoo
- I have almost no interest in any of my offline games at the moment
- I have no idea how I'm going to get out of this rut and start making enough money that I can afford my own place without doing some lame job I'll absolutely hate
- I'm bored of all my music
- The gaming PC I want to build is too expensive for me to even consider in the near future
- Did I mention my room is a disgusting pigsty? :pig:
- Despite my antisocialness in real life I'm craving online attention like crazy and I want more people to respond to my comments on here and DeviantArt
- These are all stupid "first world problems" and not real problems
- This is turning into an idiotic rant and I'm starting to feel a sense of catharsis, which then makes me even more depressed when I realize that I'm getting absolutely nothing done by pointlessly ranting
- The animals my friend owns piss me off, especially his cocker spaniel
- RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!! !! !! !
- I'm freezing my ass off in this god damn basement

It's like I'm pissed off but depressed at the same time, and almost nothing could possibly make me happy. Except if a gigantic wad of cash materialized in my hands so I could build my PC, pay off a few months rent in advance, and most of all PAY FOR TUITION. But what will I take? I don't have a f*****g clue. Maybe business courses? Maybe my Microsoft certification and A+? Maybe art classes so I could learn to draw properly for once and start attention-whoring on DeviantART? Maybe I just need a drink. Oh wait, ever since that New Years party I went to, virtually every type of alcohol now tastes like s**t to me, except for Twisted Teas for some reason, but those get boring fast. God damn I'm hungry too but I don't want to waste tonight's supper leftovers on a midnight snack and risk waking up my friend's dad. I already risked it when I ran upstairs to make myself a glass of iced tea and steal a few cookies.

In a way I almost think that this would be better suited to the Complaints board on DeviantART, except that no one takes anyone seriously there, and every thread there seems to devolve into a bunch of art-whoring and injokes and people insulting one another. Whenever people actually vent, they get pounced on! I say f**k THAT.

I want to be happy but I have no idea what can possibly make me happy. Happy. happy, happy, that's an emotion most people take for granted, yet I rarely ever feel that way. Maybe it's because I equate happiness with euphoria, I don't know. Speaking of happy, I should probably walk on over to McDonalds and stuff a million happy meals down my gullet. Oh, wait, the nearest McDonalds is an hour and a half away, by vehicle. I can't has cheezburger. I am a sad cat.



bleh12345
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09 May 2014, 4:25 am

Holy crap it's as if you are myself and my husband combined in one giant doomed and depressed blob.

I'm very sorry for how you are feeling. I'm afraid I can't really help in many ways except to listen. I can maybe take a picture of my room and make you feel less horrible. :oops: It's insanely messy.

*Offers you a giant piece of delicious internet cake*



mr_bigmouth_502
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09 May 2014, 5:44 am

Well, Steam FINALLY finished downloading Unreal Tournament 2004, so I had some fun with that for a while and I feel a lot better now. Of course, I just realized that I suck at it and need some practice, but it feels pretty good playing it again for the first time in a long time.

And thanks for the internet cake! :D *eats it* I'm glad to know I'm not the only person here who feels this way,. I'm fine now, but I can guarantee I'm going to be feeling the exact same way I was when I posted this thread sometime later on.



kirayng
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09 May 2014, 7:23 am

Have you played World of Warcraft yet? It's free to try and cheap to buy the current expac. I'm having a hard time too, playing WoW and Civ 5 is keeping me sane atm.



mr_bigmouth_502
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09 May 2014, 7:12 pm

kirayng wrote:
Have you played World of Warcraft yet? It's free to try and cheap to buy the current expac. I'm having a hard time too, playing WoW and Civ 5 is keeping me sane atm.


I refuse to play that game. My parents broke up partially because of that game. :evil:



Aristophanes
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09 May 2014, 8:09 pm

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
I refuse to play that game. My parents broke up partially because of that game. :evil:

I'm assuming your dad was stroking the keyboard more than your mom, but that should tell you just how good the game truly is.



mr_bigmouth_502
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09 May 2014, 8:23 pm

Aristophanes wrote:
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
I refuse to play that game. My parents broke up partially because of that game. :evil:

I'm assuming your dad was stroking the keyboard more than your mom, but that should tell you just how good the game truly is.


It was actually my mother who was addicted to it. :P My dad played too, but he didn't get as hooked on it since he didn't bother with the social aspects of it. (I suspect he's a bit of an aspie too, btw.)



JacobV
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18 Jun 2014, 12:32 pm

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
I feel like a failure at life. I can't really put together proper paragraphs or sentences right now so I'm going to make a list of all the sh** that's bothering me:

- Right now I'm getting this impression from my friend's father that he doesn't like me much since my room's a disaster and I don't keep a proper sleep schedule
- I am making almost no forward progress in my current job and have had my hours cut back severely
- I only have enough money in my bank account to cover this month's rent
- I have had almost no motivation to find another job or go back to school despite tons of outside pressure to
- I have almost no friends aside from some casual acquaintances at work
- my internet is absolutely slow right now and if I try to play any multiplayer games I get ping spikes out the wazoo
- I have almost no interest in any of my offline games at the moment
- I have no idea how I'm going to get out of this rut and start making enough money that I can afford my own place without doing some lame job I'll absolutely hate
- I'm bored of all my music
- The gaming PC I want to build is too expensive for me to even consider in the near future
- Did I mention my room is a disgusting pigsty? :pig:
- Despite my antisocialness in real life I'm craving online attention like crazy and I want more people to respond to my comments on here and DeviantArt
- These are all stupid "first world problems" and not real problems
- This is turning into an idiotic rant and I'm starting to feel a sense of catharsis, which then makes me even more depressed when I realize that I'm getting absolutely nothing done by pointlessly ranting
- The animals my friend owns piss me off, especially his cocker spaniel
- RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!! !! !! !
- I'm freezing my ass off in this god damn basement

It's like I'm pissed off but depressed at the same time, and almost nothing could possibly make me happy. Except if a gigantic wad of cash materialized in my hands so I could build my PC, pay off a few months rent in advance, and most of all PAY FOR TUITION. But what will I take? I don't have a f***ing clue. Maybe business courses? Maybe my Microsoft certification and A+? Maybe art classes so I could learn to draw properly for once and start attention-whoring on DeviantART? Maybe I just need a drink. Oh wait, ever since that New Years party I went to, virtually every type of alcohol now tastes like sh** to me, except for Twisted Teas for some reason, but those get boring fast. God damn I'm hungry too but I don't want to waste tonight's supper leftovers on a midnight snack and risk waking up my friend's dad. I already risked it when I ran upstairs to make myself a glass of iced tea and steal a few cookies.

In a way I almost think that this would be better suited to the Complaints board on DeviantART, except that no one takes anyone seriously there, and every thread there seems to devolve into a bunch of art-whoring and injokes and people insulting one another. Whenever people actually vent, they get pounced on! I say f**k THAT.

I want to be happy but I have no idea what can possibly make me happy. Happy. happy, happy, that's an emotion most people take for granted, yet I rarely ever feel that way. Maybe it's because I equate happiness with euphoria, I don't know. Speaking of happy, I should probably walk on over to McDonalds and stuff a million happy meals down my gullet. Oh, wait, the nearest McDonalds is an hour and a half away, by vehicle. I can't has cheezburger. I am a sad cat.



big deal if you're a failure... it's not like everyone else lives happily ever after... we all die some day... what we do between the time we are born and we die is pretty much peanuts in the long run.. so don't feel bad.. you're not any more a loser than everyone else



mr_bigmouth_502
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18 Jun 2014, 1:40 pm

JacobV wrote:
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
I feel like a failure at life. I can't really put together proper paragraphs or sentences right now so I'm going to make a list of all the sh** that's bothering me:

- Right now I'm getting this impression from my friend's father that he doesn't like me much since my room's a disaster and I don't keep a proper sleep schedule
- I am making almost no forward progress in my current job and have had my hours cut back severely
- I only have enough money in my bank account to cover this month's rent
- I have had almost no motivation to find another job or go back to school despite tons of outside pressure to
- I have almost no friends aside from some casual acquaintances at work
- my internet is absolutely slow right now and if I try to play any multiplayer games I get ping spikes out the wazoo
- I have almost no interest in any of my offline games at the moment
- I have no idea how I'm going to get out of this rut and start making enough money that I can afford my own place without doing some lame job I'll absolutely hate
- I'm bored of all my music
- The gaming PC I want to build is too expensive for me to even consider in the near future
- Did I mention my room is a disgusting pigsty? :pig:
- Despite my antisocialness in real life I'm craving online attention like crazy and I want more people to respond to my comments on here and DeviantArt
- These are all stupid "first world problems" and not real problems
- This is turning into an idiotic rant and I'm starting to feel a sense of catharsis, which then makes me even more depressed when I realize that I'm getting absolutely nothing done by pointlessly ranting
- The animals my friend owns piss me off, especially his cocker spaniel
- RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!! !! !! !
- I'm freezing my ass off in this god damn basement

It's like I'm pissed off but depressed at the same time, and almost nothing could possibly make me happy. Except if a gigantic wad of cash materialized in my hands so I could build my PC, pay off a few months rent in advance, and most of all PAY FOR TUITION. But what will I take? I don't have a f***ing clue. Maybe business courses? Maybe my Microsoft certification and A+? Maybe art classes so I could learn to draw properly for once and start attention-whoring on DeviantART? Maybe I just need a drink. Oh wait, ever since that New Years party I went to, virtually every type of alcohol now tastes like sh** to me, except for Twisted Teas for some reason, but those get boring fast. God damn I'm hungry too but I don't want to waste tonight's supper leftovers on a midnight snack and risk waking up my friend's dad. I already risked it when I ran upstairs to make myself a glass of iced tea and steal a few cookies.

In a way I almost think that this would be better suited to the Complaints board on DeviantART, except that no one takes anyone seriously there, and every thread there seems to devolve into a bunch of art-whoring and injokes and people insulting one another. Whenever people actually vent, they get pounced on! I say f**k THAT.

I want to be happy but I have no idea what can possibly make me happy. Happy. happy, happy, that's an emotion most people take for granted, yet I rarely ever feel that way. Maybe it's because I equate happiness with euphoria, I don't know. Speaking of happy, I should probably walk on over to McDonalds and stuff a million happy meals down my gullet. Oh, wait, the nearest McDonalds is an hour and a half away, by vehicle. I can't has cheezburger. I am a sad cat.



big deal if you're a failure... it's not like everyone else lives happily ever after... we all die some day... what we do between the time we are born and we die is pretty much peanuts in the long run.. so don't feel bad.. you're not any more a loser than everyone else


I posted this a while ago. I was just venting, it's nothing to really take seriously.