Advice please...

Post Reply New Topic

In a couple weeks, there will be a new depression for me that'll change the course of my life, forever. I'm going into an Adult Residential Facility in Covington, Virginia, which is 1 hour and 9 minutes away from where my ma and pa live.
A covered way has gapped open in my heart and leaves me by no means telling me not to follow through with this opportunity, but I am forced to say that I am forced to follow through.
Can I get some advice on how I can live daily life in residential while I'm away from my ma and pa?

First, why are you being sent away? I'm sorry

It's for various reasons, but for the most part I'm being sent there to learn new skills and be more independent. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow, and it's making me even more depressed the days dwindle down, and I dread grief.

Tell them you don't want to go. Tell them they can teach you those skills at home, that you're going to miss them if they send you away.

If you want advise, open your mind.

By whining and dreading this opportunity, you have already closed your thoughts to the thought that this can be a positive experience for you. By focusing on the potential for grief, you close your heart from the potential joy that can grow and bloom from this time spent in self-improvement. Now, I don't know the circumstances behind this direction you're heading, nor do I know where this will take you. I don't even know what exactly this place is. But what comes from this will be decided by you, and you alone; don't let this defeat you before you begin.

Now, I have a good deal of experience on living in communal situations. Boarding school, college, apartment, and a shanty in the middle of nowhere...admittedly, that last one was a bit more solitary. I can and would be happy to give you advice, as limited as it is, but you need to clarify your paradigm.

Thanks, man. This helped me a lot, all you told me i your post. I'll tell you all that's been confirmed:
1. I'm going to a residential treatment center for Adults eighteen - 18 - and over called New Beginnings in Covington, Virginia - about an hour and nine minutes from where I currently live - Roanoke, Virginia.
2. The circumstances behind me going here is because I get into too many fights and arguments with my ma and pa. I just had a recent arrest last year - 2013 - for assaulting my pa after renting an inappropriate movie from my local library - The Black Swan - plus after me and him tugging at his cell phone while I was trying to talk to a Sales Associate at my local Best Buy about a CD we were going to order before the fight the same night.
a. Me and my pa were at the library on the afternoon of Saturday November 2nd, 2013. I searched for the CD, "Evacuate the Dancefloor" by my favorite artist, Cascada. It was at a branch that wasn't able to be reserved and transfered for pick-up at my local branch.
I got directions at the Circulation desk to know how to get to the branch that the CD was being held at. As we left the local branch, we went on a venture of Roanoke for an hour and so to find the branch the CD was being held at. We couldn't find it.
Then, after we got home, my ma had an idea to see if my local Best Buy had it in stock.
i. I called Best Buy on my pa's cell phone to find out whether or not they had the CD in stock, and I asked the Sales Associate to see if they had the CD Evacuate the Dancefloor by the artist, Cascada. The girl looked the information up on the computer. "We don't have it in stock at the store, anymore." The girl said. "You would have to come to the store and order it"
ii. I was argumentative with the associate for about 30 minutes and my pa tried to pull his cell phone away from me, and we tugged for 5 seconds, and I jerked it away from him, letting the girl at the store know that I was on my way with somebody to order it.
3. As for the movie, I watched, "The Black Swan" after I got home from Best Buy.
As I turned on the movie, it had strong language, and it was known that Natalie Portman as Nina, in two (2) scenes, masturbated, and Nina and Lily - played by Mila Kunis - had lesbian sex. Waves of sexual images were in my head the rest of the day, and that night, Saturday November 2nd, 2013, I fought with my pa, beating him with a folding table, blackened and blued his right eye, turning it purple, and bit a chunk of skin off his right arm, bruising it and making it bleed heavily.
But to get to the point, the program at New Beggings is to help me be more independent.
I was arrested that very night charged with Assault and Battery. The police booked me, took me out that night in a bloody white t-shirt and my Where's Waldo boxers, put me in the Roanoke City Police Department police car, and took me to the Roanoke City Jail.
I took HELL for a night, a day, and another night before Monday November 4th - the day of my Arraignment.

Hm...it seems, to me at least, that you have a problem processing your frustrations. A wild goose-chase, a heated discussion with an employee, physical intervention by your father, and a dark and sensual movie...each rode the wave generated by the previous frustration, and without a means of separating these frustrations, they simply bled into each-other and reached a boiling point. As someone who has similar problem with controlling my frustrations, I empathize; frustration is a hard thing to keep separate from anger.

I don't feel qualified giving advice on this particular subject, as you will be meeting professionals who have experience with this, and I am a recluse who doesn't. Not to mention my own anger management issues. But I will say from my own experience, that when I am frustrated I want to be angry. I look for things to be angry at, write scenarios in my mind that would make me angry, fester on things beyond my control...and it bleeds out into what I say and how I act. It adds to my frustration, and feeds back on itself. It even adds to the frustrations of those around me. I can't say how much this applies to your scenario, but hopefully I can offer some perspective through my own.

Have you tried living away from home before? What makes you think it will be so bad? Maybe it will be good.

Talk to your doctor about staring on antidepressants now so they may be working some by then.

I'm sorry you are going through such an upheaval but it could bring you wonderful results. Please try and keep up hope that this can be the start of something so great!