Cravingg emotional intimacy?

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Does anybody here ever want to be deeply emotionally involved with people? I don't necessarily mean on a romantic or sexual level, but rather a strong bond of any kind with someone. Obviously, I have friends, but I can't remember the last time I truly "connected" with someone. I suppose the last time was se real years ago when I used to be really close one of my friends. Like, extremely close - we really understood each other.

Now I feel a little alienated as my besties seem to be moving on in many ways. I'm happy for them and we're all still friends, but I can sense that we're drifting apart. Also, a few months ago I developed strong feelings for one of my friends which was not reciprocated which only serves as a reminder of my hunger for intimacy.

And I'm angry with myself for wanting this. Its so frivolous and selfish, especially because people already love me - my family, my friends, my dog. I don't even fully understand what I want because even the idea of intimacy seems weird and gross to me. So why do I want it if I know I'm going to reject it?

I don't know if I am making sense.

I'm not sure what it means to be emotionally intimate. I think for me, emotional intimacy would come from intellectual and ideological compatibility. We wouldn't be verbally sharing emotions, but I would have a sense of comfort in her company and finally being able to relate to someone, and feel that the relationship actually was worth my time because we'd be of the same mind on important issues. In other words, the emotions I felt would be the result of the intimacy, and not the other way around.

On the other hand, I do kind of feel ambivalent about it because humans disgust me to the point that I cringe at the thought of being close to one, and am slightly horrified by my social longings because it reminds me that I'm one of them.

I think that most people crave emotional intimacy.

Sorry for double-post, the forum was acting up on me

Yes, I long to be emotionally connected and go into the outside world. I want to find someone that I feel 100 percent comfortable with and discover the world.
I don't want to stay inside this house, it makes me feel HORRIBLE. But there is no one there for me.

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I had some emotional intimacy last night. I worked on a 63 nova gasser, with a 454 in it. we drove it around a little. I got paid in the form of a beer. We talked about his cool car, and my special interests.

I guess that is as good as things can get sometimes

I think what I mean by emotional intimacy is more to do with having a relationship (any sort of relationship) with someone where I feel that I can truly trust them. I've had a few relationships like that, but those people are drifting apart from me as they seem to be moving on to new things in their lives. I'm glad for them and I'm happy to have shared something special with them, but now that I know what it is like to desire that kind of closeness with others, I can't let the idea go.

I have friends and I'm close to some of my friends, but I'm never as close with them as they seem to be with each other. I appreciate that for some of them, it's a case of more history together, but for the rest of them it is simply a case of just not having that much in common as people.

I'm gonna try and steer clear of the idea that I'm just "unlovable" or some emo crap like that because that's nonsense. of course people love me (at least enough to be my friend) but how much of my desire for more intimacy is to do with how other percieve me or how I percieve intimacy? I have sort of a love/hate relationship with emotional intimacy, so maybe I push others away unknowingly?

Well I guess I'll just have to take a few risks and see.