Incredibly jealous of people that get a lot higher grades

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Cafeaulait
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04 Jul 2014, 9:36 am

I am a psychology masters (22 yo) student and I have just finished my internship. During the internship I had to teach a certain interpersonal skills course to first and second year students. Today I had my final meeting with my supervisor and she told me my final grade, which was a 7 (on a scale from 1 to 10). I actually didn't mind the grade, because I didn't open my mouth a lot in meetings and it is what I expected, but when I saw a fellow trainee's grade on facebook (which was 8.5) I got really depressed. This girl didn't even spreak that much in meetings, so a lot of my fellow trainees must have gotten even higher grades. I thought; appearantly I did really bad. I did aweful compared to others.
To be honest it makes me feel really bad about myself like I am not truly good at anything and that I will never have a succesful carreer. I had to wright an internship report and they thought it was more like a trainership addendum and that it was very scientific and describing. I thought this was what I had to do because university is academic, and teaches scientific thinking. But appearantly I had to reflect a lot more on concrete situations and problems that I had encountered.
Anyway, I feel like I am not capable enough to become succesful in life. If I see all these people getting way better grades than me it makes me really insecure because I feel there is nothing else in life that I'm moderately good at or can be proud of. Everyone just does it better than me. I'm innoticable. God I feel aweful.

I'm sorry, I had to write this off of me. I wonder if there are any people that have experienced these feelings and if so how did they manage to overcome them.

Thanks
CafeauLait



kraftiekortie
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04 Jul 2014, 10:09 am

I think you will have a successful career because you are able to reflect upon your strengths and weaknesses.



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29 Jul 2014, 3:28 pm

downbutnotout
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29 Jul 2014, 4:00 pm

Sometimes I feel the same way. I've resigned myself to not obtaining love or companionship after learning to overcome anxiety, learning social skills, learning to intuit people to a degree, and still failing constantly, so my skills are all I have to my name. That includes my education and my future career.

I can't say I'm envious of or hurt by the grades my classmates get, but my identity and self-esteem is all about my performance relative to them. Learning faster, being a more intuitive troubleshooter, remembering more, having niche skills they haven't been able to develop, etc. Those are the only pleasures I've ever been allowed outside of things like video games and food. I can be wounded easily if I feel I'm not even adequate competition, which happens around people who are naturally gifted.

The only thing that's helped is understanding that it's not as straightforward as the grades and trying to have the humility to develop.



Joe90
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30 Jul 2014, 12:05 pm

Jealousy is a horrible feeling. I've never been jealous of other people's grades or intelligence, but I do get jealous of other people's social lives, and while I remain single I get really jealous of other people spending time with their boyfriends. I so badly want to be with a boyfriend that I suddenly go into a fantasy then my stomach swoops with excitement, then suddenly I go back to reality and think ''oh.....it was just a fantasy.''

Why is life so unfair?


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30 Jul 2014, 2:08 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Why is life so unfair?

How could life be fair for everyone on earth? One example from my own life: The woman I love left me for another man and broke my heart. This is certainly not fair. But sometimes someone has to lose. The question is how to deal with this. Even after over 1.5 years I still have not figured this out :(



Cafeaulait
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08 Aug 2014, 11:45 am

Joe90 wrote:
Jealousy is a horrible feeling. I've never been jealous of other people's grades or intelligence, but I do get jealous of other people's social lives, and while I remain single I get really jealous of other people spending time with their boyfriends. I so badly want to be with a boyfriend that I suddenly go into a fantasy then my stomach swoops with excitement, then suddenly I go back to reality and think ''oh.....it was just a fantasy.''

Why is life so unfair?


I wished you lived in the Netherlands so we could meet and chat up.



Sweetleaf
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08 Aug 2014, 12:00 pm

If you are getting passing grades and well on your way to a degree or whatever....then I do not think it implies you aren't good at anything and can never have a successful career, also someone getting an 8.5 over your 7 on their presentation is not exactly that much higher than what you got. Perhaps it would be healthier to try and analize why maybe you didn't get as high of a grade as you where aiming for, maybe if you're unsure why you got a lower grade than you thought you would then I am sure the teacher would be willing to give you some feedback on what you need improving on.

But yeah it would be best not to worry so much about what grades everyone else is getting...that is just going to feed those depressed feelings you have about being incapable and what not, which in turn can distract from your ability to learn and complete assignments which of course certainly wouldn't help you get better grades. Also though getting a career via getting a degree in college is not really all about grades....so its not like if you aren't getting the highest grades of your class you're doomed(though I know anxiety/depression/stress can make things feel that way).

just my thoughts on it.


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Shebakoby
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08 Aug 2014, 2:04 pm

i would get a's and b's and the c students would be all (somewhat jokingly) "you make me siiiiiiiick"



Cafeaulait
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08 Aug 2014, 3:07 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
If you are getting passing grades and well on your way to a degree or whatever....then I do not think it implies you aren't good at anything and can never have a successful career, also someone getting an 8.5 over your 7 on their presentation is not exactly that much higher than what you got. Perhaps it would be healthier to try and analize why maybe you didn't get as high of a grade as you where aiming for, maybe if you're unsure why you got a lower grade than you thought you would then I am sure the teacher would be willing to give you some feedback on what you need improving on.

But yeah it would be best not to worry so much about what grades everyone else is getting...that is just going to feed those depressed feelings you have about being incapable and what not, which in turn can distract from your ability to learn and complete assignments which of course certainly wouldn't help you get better grades. Also though getting a career via getting a degree in college is not really all about grades....so its not like if you aren't getting the highest grades of your class you're doomed(though I know anxiety/depression/stress can make things feel that way).

just my thoughts on it.


Yeah I know. thanks



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08 Aug 2014, 3:32 pm

I did experience it during my final internship. I actually did score very well in practical skills, but lower on my report and presentation. I was pretty okay with it, until someone told me he got all 9s, and I started to wonder if I did badly after all.
At the time I felt unhappy, but now that feeling is as good as gone. I hope this will be the same for you.