got the review of the assetment

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they said I was a good worker. though mostly got 3/4 out of 5. 3 being considered competitive in the workforce.

which i guess felt good as I felt I'd done my best and worked really hard.

hard to feel happy though when I know I am worthless regardless of if voc rehab and the company say I am good. still not worthy of life unless I make $22 or more an hour.

*hugs*

One's life worth is not based on how much they contribute to society in terms of salary or fame; one's life has worthy because every life contributes to the lives it touches. You contribute to WP, for example, and I am sure that there is somebody in your life--if not family then a coworker or employer--whose existence is bettered by your presence in it (for example, by going through the voc rehab program, you prove to others that they, too, can be competitive in the workforce (which is actually more than many people can say, especially us youngins), and your hard work contributes to the company's success, which, in turn, contributes to its ability to pay its employees, which contributes to those employees being able to put food--if even meager, at least something--on the table for their families).

I know that depression, whether circumstantial or clinical, is going to make you feel worthless regardless of what you accomplish or what random people on the internet tell you; it can be difficult to accept love from others when you cannot love yourself, and I know that depression makes loving yourself damn near impossible. Nevertheless, I hope that you can find self-worth and happiness soon.

idk they just get mad at me or irritated. like if I try to talk to them , their shows are more important.

women think I'm worthless. so I will never be happy until by some miricle a woman says she doesn't care about money and loves me and finds me worth something.

being told you're worthless cause you don't make over 22 an hour. over and over and over crushes and depresses me and others.

supervised the women don't post encouraging me and others to kill ourselves then they would have an easier time finding their dream guy.

I can never feel good about any of my accomplishments cause of this. I am very unlikely to ever make that much.

When you die (hopefully after a long and fulfilled life) the people who come to say goodbye will not be there because of how much you made or didn't make. The people who come to say goodbye will be there because you touched their lives. Because you helped someone in need, had a kind word, gave a friendly smile...hug...handshake when it was needed. Because you inspired them...informed them...challenged them to be the best they could be. When you die you will not take your money with you. As a former minister and nurse I've never been at the bedside of a dying person and heard them say, "Boy, I wish I would have made more money..."

As a husband, father and man, I too struggle with feeling like I don't make enough, especially as I have been unemployed for 10 months now. I struggle with not being a good provider for my family but I CHOOSE to give meaning to my life by doing what I can, when I can, with what I have.

Also, as a married man I can tell you, you will likely NEVER find a life partner to love and accept you, until you can get to a point where you love and accept yourself.

Focus on accepting who you are and working on being the type of person you want to be able to offer to your future spouse. The rest will take care of itself in time.

I agree with the others here -- your worth in your life, to others, to yourself and to a potential significant other in life, has nothing to do with what you earn per hour.

You only have to look around or think about people you know of or hear about, to realize that people find love together even when on the dole! I know sometimes it seems like everyone is "on the make" when looking for love -- the media is guilty of presenting this constantly to us. No news is good news and it sells more magazines to run stories of gold-digging women and superficial men.

But in real life, in everyday life, regular people find and fall in love with each other all the time -- in all income brackets. Even while unemployed and scraping by. Not everyone even thinks about "What does he/she make?" when they meet someone and start to enjoy their company. There are lots of people in the world who make minimum wage. Also, together its surprising how two can live as cheaply as one, and the pooled resources work out. Maybe no vacations in Hawaii, but those things aren't always important when you love someone for who they are -- and people do still love each other for who they are, despite what you see in the news.

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I accepted who I am long time ago. what you hear now about not being worth it, is from the thousands of women who have told me I am worthless cause I don't have a good job. the thought of i won't be able to provide for a family rarely comes accross to me as I don't even think I'll ever have one. I'd be happy just having a gf that doesn't care if I work min wage or $10 an hour job. that doesn't think oh that guy doesn't make 22 an hour and have a 401k then hes worthless.

I am dealing with outside problems. would you tell a black man constantly under attack cause of his race that he just needs to feel good about himself and that will stop the racist attacks.

me feeling I was worth love and feeling I was a good person didn't make women give me a chance. all they see is oh min wage job.... pass. all you have to to is look at cl, okc, pof and see there are pleanty of women defining what a real man is(goo job, car, home and looks) and they say if you don't have those then don't bother messaging them. the more vocal will go on to say that such men are worthless.

I don't expect more then 5 people at my funeral. family and 1 friend. I'd probably say I wish i'd been loved, and what preventing that is not making enough money.
times have changed since you were young. money is important to young people, how much one makes what job they have . title status. income, vacations. I don't care about any of it. but most people my age seem to have bought into it.

maybe in the uk. I don't get any of this from the news. its all straight from the mouth of local real women.

I believe like you do I live with under min wage on ssi. i know plenty who do. but the the problem is job and income is the key to starting a relationship now. i don't mean to say its the sole reason women date a guy, but that if you don't have it they won't even consider dating you. ie getting close enough to fall in love. preferring to find a guy who does have it and try to see if she can love him.

I don't want vacations, I don't want fancy cars or a big house. I would be quite happy living in a 1 bedroom appartment with the woman I love and driving a 90s car. the problem isn't my values but my generation's values. message a girl who doesn't list on her profile that you have to have a good job, good car, and own place, and withing the first 4 messages she'll be asking what you do for a living. upon saying retail she stops talking to me. repeat being told I am worthless or bad or not a real man over and over solely due to my min wage job. and it leads to where I am feeling like I am nothing but s**t. striving to obtain a a job that makes as much as possible solely so I can possible get a woman.

I would be quite happy working a min wage retail job. I enjoy interacting with people and take pride in my work. but its not good enough. it really sucks to know no accomplishment I do is good enough unless I leads to a high paying job.

Cmon, Sly.....you earned a good rating. Why not go with that?

It's not a lost cause for you. Have you met any women where you work?

I've experienced life similar to how Birdie's experienced life. Perhaps it's bad luck that you're running into these materialistic women. Perhaps it's your location.

For you, it's not a lost cause....at.all.

go where with it?

yes, but they are all either in relationships, too good looking for me, or not interested. which is for the best only bad could come from a work relationship. though I had a crush on two of them. I do not think meeting people at work or social gatherings is a good idea.

idk I've looked at a few women from all over the state okc send them to me, they have the same demands.

I struggle to see any way out. the math doesn't add up. its crazy to think that over a year ago I thought I was a good person and worth a woman's love.

do you have Skype messenger?

Nope....no Skype Messenger.

Do you like the Mariners/Seahawks?

any instant messengers?

i'm guessing that's sports? I'm not into sports.

It's sports.

I might have Microsoft Instant Messenger or something like that.

I've always found that sports is the great icebreaker--it's great when a woman likes sports; then you don't have to delve into each other's emotions all the time.

I don't know anything about Okay Cupid, so I may be speaking out of line here, but it seems to me that any dating site whose focus is of course to find a partner, demands that a member make very clear statements about what they're looking for. So you've got listings full of people who have filled out very specific information, and by doing so, it makes them think harder about what they would ideally like in a partner.

So, some people may be stating that they want someone with a decent income because, on a site full of strangers, they wish to avoid attracting someone who might be unwilling to make their own living, and are gold-digging themselves, hoping to just find someone better off to "scrounge" from. So, that may be one reason a person states she or he wants someone who makes decent money of their own.

Then on the other hand, someone stating they want someone who makes a lot of money, is themselves the scrounger/gold-digger. In this case, this is a superficial person I don't think many people would even want to reply to.

My point is, these sites, while very useful no doubt, for getting people together, also carry a potential downside of attracting members who have thought all too long and hard about specifics they require in a partner, some of whom may be over-thinking the money aspect.

Compare to real life, when two people might meet each other in a more natural, organic, or even accidental way -- getting talking in a dog park or grocery store or bookstore, being introduced by friends as a friend-of-a-friend, a friend of a family member, a sister or brother of your own sibling's friend -- when people meet in face-to-face ways, they tend not to have pre-determined "lists" of qualities or requirements.

Most people in real ife really don't walk around thinking "I only want to date people who make $22 an hour, and that's final!" And if they do, they may be perhaps a very young person who really hasn't matured in their values yet. Yes money is important in life -- nobody wants to have no money and a partner who has no money, or you can't even live/have a place to live/buy your food, of course.

But when people get together more naturally, rather than by viewing lists and statements on dating sites, they tend to not mind as much if the person they find themselves really liking turns out to have a steady bagging job at the local store.

I think at the end of the day most decent people with a sense of fairness only care that they, or the person they might decide to share life with, are capable of contributing something to their own independence if they are are in the position to be independent. Even if that's $10 an hour, it's still work and it's still a living.

I think the OK Cupid girls you are viewing the listings of are really over-reaching in their demands for these high earner alpha males. Many more sensible, less materialistic people exist out in the real world. The only problem lies in finding them and trying to get to meet them.

It is a conundrum, but there it is. It doesn't mean people shouldn't still make use of places like OK Cupid -- recently right here on WP soeone said they're about to be married and they met their beloved on OK Cupid! So it does happen. But don't feel that just because you keep seeing lots of profiles of girls with very selfish wishes, it means that's what all girls are like. There are still more down to earth people walking around.

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but the girls you meet in public are also the same thousands of girls on okc. theres only 110,172 females in the two cities.
105,416 males. only 30,311 females in my city. so given the amount of women on okc , it seems likely that most of the single population is on dating sites here. i don't imagine if i meet them in person their demands will change.

I also have no way to meet women in public. I can't just walk up and talk to them

most likely the down to earth types are all already in relationships.

also, 24,265 people age 18-29. so maybe 12, 132 women.

median is 21/hour in the next city and 19/hour here.

Last edited by sly279 on 22 Aug 2014, 9:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

wouldnt' be for me I don't really know how most sports are played. I don't get football at all.

now just waiting to hear back from them about looking for work. and have a meeting on the 5th with my voc rehab person.

also made a appointment with my doctor to see about getting on adderall. anyone here take it for adhd?