Help! My mum is very paranoid all the time!

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I love my mum very much and I know she cares about me, but she is very paranoid about certain things, and she's beginning to make me feel paranoid, although I don't feel paranoid in the first place.

I have fallen in love with a man (we have been dating for about 5-6 weeks now), and if he doesn't ring me or something, my mum starts panicking and goes ''he hasn't rang! Did he say he will??'' And I'm like ''yes mum, he is probably busy, he will ring me soon don't worry.'' Or if he has to work overtime, my mum starts panicking again because she thinks he doesn't want to see me any more. I know she is ready to feel sorry for me if something happened to make me and him break up (she doesn't have any trust in people at all), but you can't really keep thinking like that when you're first in a relationship. Her paranoia has rubbed off on me, and now I feel tense too, and when I'm with him I get things like stomachache because I'm like ''am I doing the right thing? Will he get fed up with me and break up like what my mum thinks he's going to do?''

Yes I know my mum means well, and she knows that this is my first relationship and she wants me to be happy, but her paranoia is making me feel paranoid myself, although I wouldn't feel like this if she didn't. Is this normal for parents to feel like this when you're first in a relationship and you've never dated before? What can I say or do to make her feel more at ease? He likes my mum and she likes him of course, but he doesn't know that she's this distraught. I know she doesn't mean it personally against him, I know that.

I know it's annoying, but she's just being protective of you and doesn't want you to get hurt. I kind of wish my mum had worried this much about my first relationship, because he really didn't call or see me much, and generally wasn't being someone I should have continued with, and I wish someone had told me I wasn't being treated right. It sounds like your mum and my mum could have done with a little bit of each other's parenting style! Less worrying on your mum's part, and a little more by my mum. I know she loved me in her way, but things like this left me feeling like nobody truly cared and nobody was on my side or cared if I got hurt. And.....I got hurt.

Maybe thinking about my mum being too far in the opposite direction might help you put up with your mum a bit more -- I know it must be anxiety-producing, but I think I'd rather have someone worrying too much than not at all.

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I know your mother means well and I mother like this but it probably eats away at your self-esteem. Maybe, you could ask her "what is the worst thing that could happen?" because she seems to build it into a life-or-death situation. It would be nice to just take it day by day and enjoy the relationship in each moment.