everything is falling apart and i think im going insane
Had a wicked sh***y week so I guess I'll b***h about it to internet strangers. Here's a list of sh***y f*****g things that happened to me this week:
- Got moved back to day shift at work, which is a schedule I hate, and even better, I get to work on the same shift as my boss, who I also can't f*****g stand, along with the majority of my coworkers.
- Computer s**t the bed. Still works but is still incredibly slow even after an attempt at cleaning it up. Probably will have to buy a new one soon.
- Found out I have either have to spend $2500 I don't have to get two root canals now or suffer for 4 months until January when my insurance kicks in, and then probably still pay out the ass for it.
- My truck that I bought four months ago, the one thing that I have to show for the past year of work at this sh***y, low-paying office b***h job that's destroyed my physical health, broke down today... something with the transmission, which is gonna be another 4 assloads of money to fix most likely. Only has 51k miles on it, this type of horses**t shouldn't be happening.
- Tried to run a race last weekend and found I've gained almost two whole minutes on my 5k times from college... which is attributable to the fact that I've gained weight since I sit on my ass 9 hours every day in an office doing work I hate with people I hate for a boss I hate.
- All of this other BS that happened put me in a really sh***y mood, and when I'm in a really sh***y mood is when I tend to think about my life the most... which is a really f*****g stupid thing to do, but it's what happens. I've come to the conclusion that everything I've done since graduating college is a f*****g waste. I went to school for meteorology and got hired by a "weather" company that only rips off other people's forecasts, and does that poorly. I couldn't tell you half of the things I knew about actual meteorology last year today. Then there's the loss of running ability I already talked about. Then there's the fact that after over a year in this town, I still only know like 3 people, cause I have no idea how to be a real adult. There's the fact that I'm 23 years old and having barely started dating, didn't even have my first kiss until last year, and have never even come close to having a proper girlfriend.
- Finally, I think I'm actually going f*****g insane. I've caught myself talking out loud to myself quite a bit lately... this used to be a fairly infrequent occurrence. I've also been having some wicked f**ked-up daydreams and actual dreams lately too. The worst is a recurring one in which I'm the only person attending my own funeral. If you're someone who believes in dream interpretation... well, it isn't exactly a hard guess what that one means. f****d up, am I right?
End rant... now that I've published all my life's problems for potentially the entire f*****g internet to read, I actually feel a little bit better.
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Not my chair, not my problem, that's what I say.

