I hate my poor social skills

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I have the think that people flee from me. Every time I talk to someone I think if I'm being inconvenient, invasive or too distant. I have the impression that people laugh or complain of me when I'm not around. Can not stand this feeling, it's horrible. Anyone have this feel too?

I get that feeling all the time. It doesn't come around when I'm by myself though and I've been pretty much by myself from being homeschooled in the past few months and I feel slightly better than I used to.

Most of us (aspies) has similar feeling. Part of it from bad experience in the past, part of it due to poor social skills. People think we are weird and reject us. Then, we developed self rejection when in front of people. The best thing is getting help to improve our communication skills. Reading books on social skills e.g. How to win friends and influence people, books on ettiquette helps. But it is a very long and upward struggle to improve slightly.

I'm divided on this issue. About 10yrs ago successfully won and took a highly social job. At the time I thought what an achievement, I must surely be getting close to normalcy now etc. And I've worked hard every single day to become more and more like everyone else. Have my social skills improved? I'd like to say an absolute affirmative and maybe they have but I rather suspect upon reflection that they haven't at all. What has happened is that I have....

- Thicker skin when dealing with rejection
- Better at perceiving garden variety BS
- Channelled my oddity in high level oddity with comedic accents
- More outwardly confident

In short, I'm more weird than ever but I take less s**t from people and am more likely to bite back. Comedy is my fallback defense and I can get so odd that people don't know where they stand with me, therefore they are less likely to try and take advantage. But I still have the enduring problem of higher level sociopaths still being able to take advantage, because I am still incredibly naive and I can't kill my trusting nature. I still have my fair share of management meetings and I still let loose with inappropriate stuff that I don't realise until foot is well and truly in mouth.

The more I tried to normalise by patterning others the more others did not trust me and avoided me. I just can't pull off normal no matter how much I try. Therefore I pull off 'weirdo' like it's a lifestyle choice and for the most part everyone has a good laugh except me because I am thoroughly exhausted from my all day performance. I don't want to be this extroverted comedy show, but it's the only face that really works for me out there in the corporate world. People tolerate it, because they find it amusing. Not because they accept or like me.

I think beyond the basics of common courtesy....

- Acknowledging others
- Waiting turn to speak
- Empathising with others stories rather than trying to relate with your own
- Limit most of your conversation to compliments of others work, fashion, lifestyle choices, personal philosophies etc
- Limit any conversation of your personal interests outside of personal interest groups

The rest is just an exhausting waste of time. You won't normalise to the extent that your difference will be unnoticable and the energy you expend getting there will be a lesson in frustration. Better to be who you, ensure you're not rude and find work that facilitates rather than works against you.