I want help in this??

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I want help in how to get rid of this
Theres no where else I could talk about my depression, people I know in real life won't help me and I don't know how to talk to them
I feel so depressed and shattered right now, this has happened to me multiple times but I tried to ignore it but it didn't help. I also tried to convince myself that I'm only having pessimistic thoughts
Most people don't treat me well, they look down on me and some use me as a material to blow off their anger and hate at, especially this year so many people treat me like I'm garbage, last year it was good but this year got very bad for me even my grades went down and I'm not treated like a human because I lack the qualifications people around need to verify you as a human
I feel so exhausted and stressed and sad and helpless right now I don't know what to do nothing seems to help me, I tried spending my time on special intrests but that didn't help as well.

I wish I could offer suitable advice.

At least you have WrongPlanet. I know the people here like you.

What I would do. Just try to raise your grades by studying. That will keep you preoccupied, so you don't have to think about how down you are.

You're an intelligent person. You could overcome this. I had similar feelings when I was your age.

There's lots of knowledge out there which you could explore without people. At least you have the Internet--which I didn't have as a kid.

Then talk about what you've learned right here on WrongPlanet. Get into a healthy discussion with someone.

Thanks(: it actually helps when
someone replies
People liking me online doesn't happen to me but I'm so glad wrong planet exists
The problem isn't that I want to explore things with people but I have to deal with them everyday I'm forced, I can't skip school everyday to avoid seeing people who hate me there and I can't avoid seeing my misunderstanding family everyday
I will try to get better grades and learn more and talk to people who wouldn't bash it (:

Acknowledging that your feeling depressed is a good start.
Try to accept the notion that you might experience depressive moods, and when it happens aim to recognise it, but resist it; engage in self care, e.g. everyday do one luxury thing for yourself, a bubble bath is a commonly suggested indulgence, but really I think it is about doing something you truly enjoy, anything that contributes to your holistic wellbeing. I think meditation and mindfulness are also quite useful, have you tried either of them?
I remember your thread about art materials, do you have time to draw in between studying?

Dont try to be like everyone else, the world is arranged to suit them not you, instead be proud to be unique rather than one of the NT clones.

I will try doing things I like doing in the weekend like watching anime the whole day and drinking a hot drink or a fresh smoothie to change my mind state completely but I think I will wait to do that when my parents aren't at home so that they wouldn't criticize me for doing so
And I will also sleep as much as I want so I wouldn't feel tired during the day
I can draw sometimes between studies and I like it but it doesn't change my mood as much as anime does

I really don't try to be like them which is why they dislike me even more, I like myself even thought sometimes I do hate being the way I am and my personality, I never thought there was something wrong about me since I never harmed anyone I always thought the wrong was them since they would go harm people for no reason

If you have a counselor at school you can go to their office and talk to them about it. Thats a great place to start. They don't repeat what you say and they have lists of places you can go and people you can see to talk about this. If you think your parents won't agree to your seeing a therapist that the school counselor suggests, then the counselor can call them in and talk to them and get them to send you to one.

I would say to start with your school counselor. You can also call a suicide hotline near you, even though you may not be suicidal. I called the one here several times after my mothers death last spring because I had no other support system. My one friend was on drugs at the time and caught up in that, and my other friend had killed herself a few months before my mother died. Those two girls and my mother made up my support system of people I talked to about problems. They were happy to talk to me about things. I'd suggest you call one of those places if you need to talk before you talk to your counselor at school.

I'd also suggest talking to your parents. I have 4 kids and my youngest is 18 now. She's had depression for a couple years and she's always talked to me about it, and I've noticed it and talked to her about it. We have a good relationship, but I can't make her feel better, I'm her mom and I can take her to someone who can help her feel better though. She knows that. I hope you have a relationship with your parents that would allow you to tell them that you are depressed and feeling very down and having some problems that you would like to talk to a therapist about. They will ask what the problems are, but you don't have to tell them if you don't want to. You do need to reassure them what the problems aren't though. You could say "I don't want to talk about my problems with you right now, but I will tell you that they have nothing to do with drugs, sex, being abused, self harm, or thoughts of suicide" That should take away their main fears right then. If they ask why you don't want to talk about them, just say that you will talk to them but right now you just want to talk to a therapist first. Just tell them you are having some social and personal issues, and it's nothing bad. If you can talk to them about it without them playing it down and saying you'll get over it then do so. If you think that they will tell you not to go to the therapist once they hear the problems, then don't go into them with them. People who haven't experienced certain problems really can't understand how bad they are effecting someone else.

Good luck!

Thanks this is helpful and informative
There is a counselor at my school but I don't want to go because I know the counselor would suggest going to a therapist and that wouldn't help because my parents would never consider providing me one
Things got better now I spent my time with my sibilings and chatted with some friends and practiced special intrests, I feel very relaxed now so things are good now
I'm not very open to my parents, they have that strict traditional personality so bringing something like this to them won't help but things feel good now so I don't think it matter for now at least, but I think I might be able to talk about this to a sibiling or a friend if it happens again

I'm glad my post was helpful. If you don't think the counselor would be able to convince your parents to take you to a therapist, then the school counselor would happily talk to you on a regular basis. It's not therapy but it is counseling. Thats his job. Lots of kids have problems they won't or can't take to their parents, and your parents aren't the only ones who wouldn't get therapy for their kid. Thats why there is a counselor on staff, available to you. They do more than help you with decisions for your academic future, talk to you about your performance in school, and mediate in conflicts. Part of their job is to provide and ear and the counseling that they are skilled in to the students who would not have access to it any other way. While probably not a psychologist, they have taken courses in counseling kids of different ages, and because they are in the schools and see so many kids, they are also familiar with the current culture of kids and with the environment in the school.

It won't hurt to go and ask if you could talk to him about your problems and let him know your parents wouldn't get you therapy and you don't want him to try to convince them for you yet. Ask if you could bend his ear occasionally. He will probably be very happy to help you and counsel you himself as well as he can.

Give it a try, please. I'd advise any kid to do this. I really believe it will help. Many kids don't know that the school counselor is also there to counsel the kids in things other than school related issues. They can provide personal counseling as well.

Last year my good friend killed herself. She had a daughter the same age as my youngest daughter. The dad doesn't believe in counseling so he wouldn't take her and she was underage and couldn't take herself even though she had a car. She saw the school counselor during school hours. She was helped a lot by it and still sees him some now, but saw him very frequently at first. That's also his job. He's there for you, his counseling is a service provided to you by the school board. It's there for kids in your situation. Take advantage of it. It's worth it. Please.

This was helpful too
I will try to bring myself to talk to a counselor but I don't know if I can do this because doing it makes me feel scared, I feel I would be annoying going to the counselor during the day and if I keep going people would know something is up with me and it would also mean skipping some classes also asking a teacher or someone about the counselor's place at school would be weird and annoying and I feel a bit embarrassed and shy to go to a counselor but I will try to go to the counselor soon because I feel that I do need someone to guide me like I still feel lost in what I should live to work for or a career to choose so I think a counselor can help me in that

It is scary to talk to someone like that about personal things, if you haven't ever done it before. It's very easy to get used to though, because they know how hard it is and try to put you at ease. By all means tell him first that it's scary for you.

You are NOT bothering him. Most counselors would rather do this kind of counseling with the kids than talk to them about college or why they have to stop skipping school, etc. This is what they want to do, the rest is what they have to do. You will not be bothering him at all. I promise you. Ask him that too if you want.

As for having to skip a class, maybe they could let you do it in study hall or PE one day, etc. Also, nobody will know because he can schedule it for different times and days each week and they are very skilled at hiding whats really going on. No kid wants anybody else to know that, and I guarantee you that there are other kids in your school going to him for something like that right now and you nor anybody else has a clue about it. The teachers also don't know what it's about, they just assume it's office business. The office can need you for a lot of things. Plus, it would be only one day a week, tops. Maybe every other week, or just when you wanted to. He could even do it after school if his schedule and yours allows and you can tell your parents you are staying to do something in the office or talk to the counselor about some school options and plans. They don't have to know, and it's close to the truth.

Try stopping into the office Monday and telling him you would like to talk to him about a personal issue, what time would be good for you to come by? He will tell you and then you go. Tell him your fears about bothering him, talking about things, that others may know, etc. He can get all that out of the way and resolved to your satisfaction first. They are very, very common issues for high school kids. He gets that all the time, it's nothing new.

As for asking where his office is, they will think you want to ask about college or something. Just say "Where is the counselor's office please?" and then say thank you when you are told and walk off. If they ask why you want to talk to him say that it's a personal issue. They don't know or care what you talk to him about. They have kids there they know are on drugs, are screwing everybody, are in gangs, are dealing drugs, are in abusive homes, are living in poverty, are cutting themselves, are suicidal, are depressed, are having trouble with their sexuality, etc. Nobody in that office thinks anything bad. Depression is probably something that most adults know about or have experienced or had a friend or family member experience. Probably a bunch of teachers are on antidepressants, it's very common. It's actually almost normal now. Adults would see you as being very mature to seek out the counselor because you feel depressed and they wouldn't think bad of you at all. Every single one of them knows someone who has been to therapy, if they haven't gone themselves. It's not a bad thing.

The counselor can't talk about what you tell him unless you tell him you are planning to hurt yourself, someone else, or commit a crime. Otherwise he can't tell unless you tell him to. The office staff cannot breach confidentiality either, they know tons of stuff about every kid there. They know things that would surprise you about some of the kids. That doesn't make them think bad of them. Or you. Please try it.

let me know how it's going please.

Let me add this too. My daughter has had to go see the counselor at her school many times. She sees someone about her depression and hasn't talked to her school counselor about it because she came to me and I took her to a therapist and an MD. However, she's had to go talk to him to find out about her credits, her absences, her college applications, her SAT's, and lots of things. They do that kind of stuff mostly and anybody who sees you going in there will think you are talking to him about that.

Here is a trick I used when I was a PI. If I wanted to find out where somebody's office was, without explaining too much, I would carry a manilla envelope or file folder in my hand, with papers in it. It looks like I just want to drop something off. Try that trick. Don't be obvious with it, don't mention it, just say "I need to talk to him about something" You don't say it's personal or anything unless they ask what. Then say it's personal. Because you have the papers in your hand they may think it's something to do with school, college, future etc that you don't want to talk to them about. Just hold the papers in your hand, down at your side or in your arms with your other books. If they ask what it is, be dismissive and say "Just some papers I need to get looked at". They will then think it's one of a hundred myriad things to do with school crap that the counselor does. If you obviously don't want to talk about it, they will assume it's something to do with college, classes, extracirricular, SAT's, study groups, etc that your parents are making you do and you don't want to. Nobody will think anything.

Ok thank you very much
I will work on going to the counselor as soon as possible and I will post about it

K. Good deal. Let me know please. Also, for the office folks, if they just HAVE TO KNOW why you want to see him, just say you want to talk to him about financial aid for college. That is probably one of the most boring topics there is and also one of the most complicated as well and they will be happy to send you on to him to get help with that lol.

You're still young, you still have time. Do whatever it takes to stay afloat, find a counselor maybe like they've already said. Don't shut yourself off from the world, the only way for make chronic depression cease is to have consistent good life experiences or to really accept yourself without others. The latter is really difficult to achieve. Life really sucks when there are no safe places. Try having a real heart to heart with your parents if you haven't already. Hide nothing let them know how you feel in explicit detail, I did this with my parents last week and it really helped, wish I'd done it when I was 13 and not 20. Get away from anyone who is hurting you. Maybe look for new friends in different places. People you may not have expected to be friends with might surprise you. I've also tired of my special interests except one really, I recommend looking for power music if you haven't already grown much in this avenue, something to stimulate yourself positively until other people start picking up the slack. It's how I've long outlived my due date.

I originally wanted to go today but there was too much school work so I was only free in break but I was stuck buying food in the line where everyone kept pushing so that took half the break, I also might ask a friend to come with me or something if I went because I still feel anxious about it lol


Thanks I will try doing what you said but I don't feel comfortable talking to others whether it would be a counselor or a parent or a sibiling or a friend, I find it hard, I also don't know how to make friends with others; I don't understand social things and how friendships are formed and I'm awkward and its hard isolating yourself from humans because you won't be able to get help for yourself and you won't learn anything, I feel I need others help but at the same time I don't like to associate with people so when people start not paying attention to me I start feeling very insecure about everything