always annoyed and overwhelmed

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...by everything and everyone. I often feel like I just wasn't programmed to cope with life on earth. It hurts a lot when people I love really annoy me and I can't help it. I just feel angry and tired and misunderstood all the time. I cant find the words to explain what I go through mentally every day.
Every pleasant time is tainted with fear, a bittersweet sense of times merciless passing, philosophical dissection of everything's meaning in the universe, sudden inexplicable senses of tension and desperation like a cat scrambling onto a ledge or like I need more air! It's all automatic I just feel I have no control and nobody who understands how dark and overwhelming it can be in my head? Is there anyone out there who understands this?...

Yes, I do. But I don't know what to say other than, "I get it."

Yeah, been there... usually that's where I remain. Occasionally I hug someone or solve some crazy technical/conceptual puzzle and it subsides but that only provides more context for my ongoing hypothetical dissection of the universe.

The upside of all this for me is that it includes the ability to visualize code as pseudo hallucinations, which is why I'm not flat broke right now. Music & art are the only things that really explain my state of mind most days. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to take in enough nature uninterrupted and I can identify with that as well.

PM me if you want, I try to check WP at least daily. Also, I strongly recommend showing proper appreciation to people holding "free hugs" signs. I don't even want to think about how many of those I miss while I'm at work.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I undrstand your feelings. It can become all-consuming if you let yourself focus on it. Do not let the negitivity win. Think about negative feelings like an outside force (or dementors) trying to break you down. Do not take ownership of negative feelings or thoughts or wallow in them. They may be valid, but can become a black hole without a way out. Changing your perspective to own only productive feelings, and all negative feelings seen as the enemy trying to hurt you, makes it a little easier to problem solve your way out.