Prelude to Greetings (an angsty sorta poem)

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Yeah, maybe the sickness is psychological.
Yeah, maybe you're coughing up phlegm and have headaches because you're as depressed as you say you are.
Yeah, maybe you can dream
Of flowery language and romantic inspiration
You can dream of happiness and completion
And an accepted state of dependency
And you can think that maybe, just maybe
Some of those things are possible...
...but it never works out, does it?
You never let there be a possibility of it working out
Because always you're too terrified to say hello.
Maybe all you say about it being rude and creeping people out is BS.
Maybe you're in denial.
Maybe you're afraid of relating to anyone.
Maybe you're afraid that you're not a different from other people as you like to think.
Maybe you can blame it on a diagnosis.
But in the end it's just a scapegoat.
You don't f**k up because you have sh***y mental disorders, Jonny.
You f**k up because that's just what you're in the habbit of doing.
You think friends will flock to you?
You think you'll make any if you don't try?
You think people'll hate you for trying?
Oh, that's right. Everybody's busy.
Or at least that's what they tell you.
Or at least that's what you expect them to tell you
Just because that's how it always was in high school
"Sorry, but I'm just too busy to hang out with you."
Said every f*****g person who you bugged enough.
Just because that's how some people are in college
"Sorry, but I'm just too busy to hang out with you."
Says every f*****g person who you bug enough.
But they're not.
Not when they've joined groups like
"I don't have time to do my homework, because I'm in college."
And you know they're lying.
You know that they put up with you in class
But feel no need to see you outside of class.
It's no wonder.
It's not like any of them can relate to you.
But that's no reason to judge people
You've barely even f*****g spoken to
And assume they'll be the same f*****g way.
How do you know?
You don't.
You want hope?
Here's hope.
So get the f**k off your ass and say hello.

Very good...very true... alas, I relate to this all to well. The old self fulfilling prophecy coming into play a little as regards that.