Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ]
26 Mar 2007, 2:58 pm
26 Mar 2007, 3:55 pm
hyperbolic wrote:
Someone who I met on this site and who I became friends with in what I thought was a close way is now no longer a friend. I had thought I did not have such a good friendship for years.
The downward spiral started after I contacted this person via AIM about a book I had purchased to mail to the person or return and send some music instead. Because the person has dyslexia, which makes communication at times cumbersome, I asked if we could chat via voice chat, which we have done before, so that we could talk about it.
The person then started giving excuses as to why that could not happen, such as sickness and too much work. When I showed my frustration, the person showed complete ambivalence. Not even anger or sadness at what I was saying, which I had expected, even for an Aspie.
At no time was it hinted in the friendship that I was being obnoxious or was unwanted, so this came as a surprise.
I wonder if I did something wrong, and if so, I would like to know what, but knowing this person, I don't think I'd get any answer other than "I don't know." Also I ask "Could it be due to this person's Asperger's or mine?"
How should I feel right now? Sad? "Good riddance"? Blame? Around WP, "good riddance" seems to be a popular feeling and blaming the popular thing to do whenever someone hurts one's feelings. Perhaps I feel some "good riddance." As for blame, I don't completely blame myself or the other person, but I would like to improve my ability to handle friendships or to decide who really is a friend or not so as to not have friendships end up the same way as this one did, and I have a strong feeling that the same could be said of this other person, as well.
The downward spiral started after I contacted this person via AIM about a book I had purchased to mail to the person or return and send some music instead. Because the person has dyslexia, which makes communication at times cumbersome, I asked if we could chat via voice chat, which we have done before, so that we could talk about it.
The person then started giving excuses as to why that could not happen, such as sickness and too much work. When I showed my frustration, the person showed complete ambivalence. Not even anger or sadness at what I was saying, which I had expected, even for an Aspie.
At no time was it hinted in the friendship that I was being obnoxious or was unwanted, so this came as a surprise.
I wonder if I did something wrong, and if so, I would like to know what, but knowing this person, I don't think I'd get any answer other than "I don't know." Also I ask "Could it be due to this person's Asperger's or mine?"
How should I feel right now? Sad? "Good riddance"? Blame? Around WP, "good riddance" seems to be a popular feeling and blaming the popular thing to do whenever someone hurts one's feelings. Perhaps I feel some "good riddance." As for blame, I don't completely blame myself or the other person, but I would like to improve my ability to handle friendships or to decide who really is a friend or not so as to not have friendships end up the same way as this one did, and I have a strong feeling that the same could be said of this other person, as well.
Are you thinking that the friendship is gone because this person wouldn't do voice chat, or was there more involved?
I don't know about this person, but I have a horrible time speaking to other people-- I'm much more comfortable typing. When people want me to talk to them on the phone I have a hard time explaining that I won't be able to respond to them as easily as I would like to, or follow the conversation.
It's hard when people have two seperate ways of communication. I'm sorry this happened!
26 Mar 2007, 4:01 pm
26 Mar 2007, 4:21 pm
26 Mar 2007, 5:24 pm
26 Mar 2007, 6:16 pm
