Anger in a public place

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Hi everyone....ugh. I just feel like total crap right now. I feel like SCREAMING at the top of my lungs and crying as hard as I can, and throwing a huge tantrum and letting out all my pent up anger and frustration, but I'm in a public place and I'm trying my best to restrain myself from letting anything show, but my boyfriend already commented that I look tense.

Has anyone ever had this explosive feeling inside them, like they're just about ready to scream bloody murder, or just break down....and how do you hold it in??? How do you make the anger wave go away??? Instead of letting it out?

Help.....

If you can, try to step outside or go to the bathroom. If you're by yourself you might feel less tense and can more easily self-soothe. Maybe try listening to a favorite song or something else that helps you calm down.

Medication. I was actually seeking treatment for my anger issues when my psychiatrist brought up the possibility of being on the spectrum. Anyway, medications helps me stay in control, it just gives me a bit longer fuse to work with so I can deal with my emotions in a more constructive way than exploding. They are their own headache though, so good luck whatever route you go with.
Good luck and stay safe.

Do you know what triggered your anger? I'm probably projecting here, but I'm getting the impression that it's related to sensory overload.

I used to think I had anger issues, but in my case, it turned out I just had poorly managed hypersensitivity. Crowded places are the main thing I have trouble with. Crowds mean noise and a lot of moving visuals. Whatever caused the crowd probably means more noise and visuals. Trying to move among people without any collisions means more vestibular (movement) input than you normally get. Whenever I go to a crowded place with somebody, it's ten times worse because I can't even go at my own pace.

I'll give you my tactics in case it's any help. Most of the tactics are geared toward avoiding the anger in the first place.

1. Self-awareness is the prerequisite to anything else you can do. Try to figure out how much everything contributes to the overload. Pretty much everything contributes somewhat, but some things are a bigger deal than others. It doesn't even have to be unpleasant stuff. Besides crowds, sneaky stuff to watch out for is super-sweet food, movies in a theater, and riding in a vehicle (especially if someone else is driving).

Also, know what it feels like when you start getting a little overloaded.

Heck, even just knowing my anger came from sensory overload seemed to take the rage down a notch.

2. Try to avoid getting too much stimulation. In some cases, you can just skip the entire situation (e.g. I will never go to the mall with friends on a Saturday, especially that one friend ). If you can't or don't want to skip it, try to keep the rest of your day peaceful and relaxing. Prepare anything that's helpful such as earplugs or stimming items. If you can't understand speech through the earplugs, communicate with your companions by text or something.

3. Use comforting stims frequently and shamelessly. Avoid things that give people legitimate reason to think you're going to hurt someone (e.g. yelling, punching inanimate objects), but don't worry about looking weird (e.g. leg bouncing, rocking, chewable jewelry, etc). One I found helpful is a proprioception excercise from a book: press your hands together as hard as possible in front of your chest for several seconds. (The book advised a "prayer pose" but I think other hand arrangements work as well and don't looks as conspicuous.)

4. If you start to feel overloaded, take a break before it gets really bad. Keep in mind that the feeling will pass when you are able to go home and relax.

5. Don't try to hide sensory issues from your friends and family. It's a trait you'll probably have forever, so they might as well get used to it.

I often get this. Especially after work when I'm on the bus, on the way to my boyfriend's. It's about a 25-mile bus journey, and I finish work at an awkward time so I've got to get the bus when the roads are busy. And I'm tired and hungry and just want to get to my boyfriend's flat. And everything and everyone starts pissing me off. The traffic, red lights, roundabouts, slow people, people taking forever to pay the bus fare, loud kids, people staring at me like I'm Elephant Man wearing a pink Afro wig, too many people getting on the bus, people making the bus stop at every stop, loud motorcycles going by, people coughing and sneezing loud, having to stop and wait at an intersection for a train to pass....just everything I see and hear make me want to scream ''f*****g SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !''

Tell me about it. I'm on antidepressants and they do make me calm, I haven't had a rage outburst since I've been taking them, which is a year. But when it comes to these moments, I'm like a raging bull ready to charge. I have to suppress it because I don't want to make a scene and be thrown off the bus, or worse, be carted off to a mental hospital because mental hospitals are my worst fear. But I have huffed and puffed under my breath and got up quickly to move away from loud kids, which made others look at me as if to say ''what's the matter with her?''