I am not intelligent..

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I've been having a really hard time recently.. in the past two weeks I've been to crisis, partial hospitalization, and a therapist.. I'm exhausted.. I'm on anti-anxiety medication and the people at Partial state they want me to be diagnosed by a Neuropsychologist, as they feel that its more than just autism and mental health issues..

My clinical coordinator gave me resources to find a different job, which she encourages me to do.. To lessen my anxiety. I have extreme general and social anxiety, which is in turn causing my depression.. according to them, they believe my anxiety is the root of things in the now.

I took some aptitude tests, the results were so dramatic.. it just seems to imply I'm not.. cut out for any actual job.
So this means I potentially have to suffer with retail or less employment for the rest of my life?
My parents don't want to support me, regardless of what the tests come back as.. Which is the reality I guess..

I don't understand how to live a life worth living when I'm just being told I'm not intelligent enough to take certain jobs, jobs that I have extreme interest in.. but because test scores come back poorly, they're just suggesting labor jobs.. which I find excessively boring and I'm not usually physically capable enough anyway.

Really, what's the point in life if you can't do what you desire to. Like have a home to live in, with a job you feel accomplished in and doesn't distress you in unhealthy levels..

What are you ESPECIALLY interested in?

Art, I'm not formally schooled for it..
I lack a lot of skills that they would teach in school.. I need a lot of work, I've really fallen out of the loop and I've come to understand being a successful artist requires the ability to communicate with other people.. I have a lot to work on and not enough time..

Cars, but nothing in terms of potential job related. I have an interest in learning metal repair, but I'm pretty scared of a welder/torch and I have poor coordination with my hands.. My father has repeatedly turned me down when I asked him to teach me.. as he's a building mover, they move actual houses, and they make many of their own steel beams to put under the houses.. In the past two years, I watched an uncle of mine build an entire frame of a custom built truck.. But he didn't have time to teach me either. I can do basic service on my own car, I probably take care of my cars better than I take care of myself at this point..

Computers, I can't say I understand everything about them but I know how to build them and take care of them.. But the confidence in my abilities are small and I do not have any viable experience an employer would like to see. I'd like to learn how to fix/repair/rebuild computers and other devices.. but the schooling for that is high cost and often in a learning style I don't really understand as quickly as my peers.

Livestock, but who the heck can breed livestock commercially anymore without owning their own land and a house already? Not many people.

I'm just really easily stressed out, I'm having a lot of social issues and I don't know how to react to things.. or what to do in certain situations such as people screaming at me.. Or completely misunderstanding me... Making me feel even more worthless than I already know I am at this point.

Art is a tough interest to turn into a job. Problem is, you have to learn to do what your customer or boss wants, no matter how awful it is. Its one of those things that seems like a good idea, but isn't for most people.

Maybe you could gain coordination skills with practice--bouncing a rubber ball off the floor and catching it? I found that I was just a real slow learner...but I could learn if I stuck with it.

I know.. but in school that was really the only thing I excelled in aside from Web Development.
I just eventually found programming a little too much for me, the concepts were often so abstract.. I just couldn't grasp them without excessive one-on-one teaching which my college was not looking to do for me..

I should have picked a different college, basically.

I would like art related something, or art on the side and then something actually sustainable.

Perhaps I will give it a shot, to learn/reprogram coordination. I mean, when it comes to art... doing artwork is easy. I've taken all the years to hone my movements for the subject, just not so much everything else.. I'm lucky to be able to grasp a plastic shopping bag sometimes, I can never get them open quickly enough.. and picking things up if my left hand is involved.. most likely not happening.

But I was trying to teach myself to write with my left hand, for a little bit, and it was okay.. but I donno. I go back and forth with what I pick up with what hand, I confuse myself sometimes with it.

But you ARE intelligent.

Ever thought about working in a help-desk environment?

You could make extra money fixing other people's cars.

Maybe I'm knowledgeable, but I'm really painfully slow.. in speed. Processing verbally spoken things, very difficult for me to grasp. I don't always hear people correctly, even if they're talking at a moderate speed.. People hate repeating themselves and it tends to make them annoyed to repeat themselves a ton of times or slower. From what I understood, intelligence is sort of the combination of knowledge/smarts and speed.. I do not have the speed aspect going for me..

Help-desk, as in.. computer help or what?
I'm not as phone avoidant/terrified as I use to be, but people say I have an unpleasant voice.. because its fairly monotone (I even get sick of it, but I'm not sure how to change that..)

But anyway, I'm not entirely sure what that term means in job form.. the help-desk thing.

And I would, but I do not have the proper equipment myself nor permission to use the family business's stuff (garage, jacks, jack stands, coil compressors, impact gun, etc). They're not fond of strangers coming onto the property and I do not blame them one bit, I also only have retained the knowledge of toyota vehicles.. because I own a couple of them..

Most companies have "help-desks" for when employees have problems with their computers.

You were able to use Internet and be on a website and type all that, that shows you do have intelligence.

I'll look into that, thank you kraftiekortie.

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Using the internet, being on a website, and typing are all second nature to me because I'm 23 years old. I was pretty much thrown at a computer to soonest I could be because people back in the 90s believed that the computer was going to make the future, the future.

I don't see how that has anything to do with intelligence, my writing/typing ability is considerably better than my verbal ability. Comprehending typed/written (non-chicken scratch and cursive) is very easy for me and I do it very quickly.

Well I know people who don't know how to use computers.
If you find it easy not everyone does, I do many things easily but some people find doing those things hard.
I don't know much about jobs but I think there are jobs which require good usage of computers.
If you feel you're not 'intelligent enough' then work harder (study more)
With hard work you can do it, any human is capable of doing anything any other human does since we're the same species so there isn't a very very big gap between our brain potential.

There are jobs in data entry--while things have gone to computer, there are still people who insist on using the old fashioned technology.

A common Aspie misconception is to discount skills that are easy for you--they can be quite difficult for the average person. More importantly, you can get paid for doing things you find ridiculously easy--how hard it is for you does not factor in on how much someone will pay you! A good example is throwing the baseball--you can make a ton of money being a pitcher--a grown man playing a kid's game.

How about fixing up the walls of trashed hotel rooms or helping out with an interior decorator? While it is hard to start out with the creative side of things, you may be able to make the jump once you have a reputation as someone they can trust.

Depression and anxiety can lower the score of a IQ test.

Test scores have too much value placed on them nowadays...

You say you are slow to process language, but your english seems to be pretty good; have you considered proofreading? that typically has a low timepressure and no real required interaction.

An alternative to proofreading is translation work (assuming you are proficient in a second language), translating to and from english has a decent amount of possible work (it's how i got my job in the first place)