Wanting everyone to be motivated/ambitous. puts too much str

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why can't we just accept people can be different in all ways not just gender, sexual , and race. instead people put pressure and stress on others to be the same as them. Why is motivation and ambition so great it must be pressured on everyone. I'm content having little ambition. I hate what it does to me. I don't like being mean and competitive. as for motivation is just a way of saying you think someone life is s**t and needs to improve who gives people the right to judge others so. maybe they happy with how their job is and dont' need motivation to get better one.

really starting to hate those words.

Hi Sly, yes I reckon you're right: you shouldn't need to constantly compete with others or compare yourself to others. We do not all have to conform to the standards of others, however well meaning they may be. It is good to be the best "you" that you can be, without undue pressure.

I try to keep things in perspective, we don't get to choose the hand we get dealt in life and there a lot of people suffering on this planet worse than me from disease, famine, war, or just just bad luck. I am fortunate to have what I have since most on planet don't have the luxury, most people that have ever existed were born into much less fortunate situations.

Someone from the outside might not think I don't have much motivation or ambition but its by my measure and not theirs, I don't care about money or material assets much either but that's not all there is in life either. I don't want to wallow and rot away, I don't want to be alone so I have to improve. I put pressure on myself, is some of it just internalized from my parents and society? Maybe but it's there regardless. I put value in myself and my accomplishments, they might not seem like anything to some people but I know how hard they were for me given my circumstances and I know bad things can be. I understand that there is strength found in overcoming the difficulties in life, I am stronger now than I was a year ago and hopefully I'll be stronger yet a year from now.

I'm not very motivated.

However, I don't believe people should "de-motivate" themselves by thinking, for example, that they'll never, ever find love.

I'm ok with someone being happy with where they are in life and not wanting to do more - some nurses at work who have an ADN absolutely refuse to go back to school for higher education which is fine. At the same time, I don't want people to think ill of me for wanting more out of life and wanting to be around people with the same mindset. Being around the same kind of people with the same goals as myself helps me to stay focused on what I need to be doing in order to get where I want to be in my life.

Motivation and ambition are what cause people to get out and accomplish things. People getting out and accomplishing things are what keeps society and civilization going, so it's in all our best interests to try and have as many motivated and ambitious people as we can. That doesn't mean everybody has to be that way. There are enough people so that not everyone has to make big contributions to society, or any really. But we need to always keep enough to keep society going so thats why it's important. Not everybody has to be that way, but it's still something that is valued because of self preservation.

If nobody did anything then society would fall apart. Everything would fall apart. There would be no food to eat, no health care, no cops to protect you or fireman to keep your house from burning down. No internet or tv or video games and no electricity to run them with. There would be nothing if people stopped being motivated and ambitious. So it's in our best interests to encourage that.

I don't people here do enough de-motivating me that I don't need to myself. half the the time I come here atleast neutral and leave feeling depressed and like I should die.

so after this goal will you make another? then another and another, will your last goal be to die, it better or you won't achieve it. whats wrong with completing a goal and just stopping and smelling the flowers. every is always focued on running faster they miss the view and smell of the field. its just a blur to them. I don't like that living life just to keep progressing. i want to really live life and enjoy it. I won't pressure people to do so though so I hate that people judge me because I'm not achievement focused. its the same on games. I play games to enjoy them others are about getting all the trophies. they then compare their trophies to others . I like don't even look at the PlayStation trophies. I'm not competitive I just enjoy the game play.

I get wanting to be around similar people but you should really branch out, its the differences in people that makes life more experiences. being around only similar people sounds stale.

well the current system of pushing it on everyone and making anyone who can't do it feel horrible isn't right. people with motivation and ambition don't need to be pushed to have it they just do. I don't like it it makes me mean. I really hate it when it comes out I get jealous of others for being better then me. I prefer to just live and let live. you can't do that with ambition its all about beating others in something.

where did ambition get me? 11k in debt for going to colelge. yay. rejected by the military, yay, recjected by hundreds of women yay, rejected over and over by employers. yay. ambition is for successful lucky people. I have it but onl like to use it for smaller stuff. like cooking, building stuff on minecraft, making wood stuff hopefully again one day, saving up for stuff.

suppose its not motivation but people juding me based on what they is motivation which is different for everyone.

my husband is the least ambitious person i know. every job he's ever had, he's been offered a management post and turned it down. he's also the least materialistic. he's happy with very little. he throws out previous awards even. all the relationships with women he's had have been initiated by the women. he, however, has a huge capacity to love and be loved. he also appreciates beauty in art and music and writing. he doesn't want to own it, just to see or hear it. he's great with words and has a tremendous sense of humor.

never been in a position where I've been offered promotion. they don't promote cashiers. anyways I'd have to consider such an offer. weigh the positives and negatives, like if it'd be more stressful.
I have my degrees I suppose most people would hang them and show them off I don't see the point. plus safer in the fire box.

you're happy with him? o.O

Have you ever thought about trying to meet women in shooting ranges?

Or going on a (decent, non-radical) gun-lovers site?

I was rejected by the military too, several times. I wanted to be a Marine. I had a thyroid nodule that was removed and I never had to take meds for it. I only have half a thyroid since 87. I kept trying to get a waiver and I've been down to MEPS and seen dr after dr and jumped through hoops and they still would not let me in. Their loss because I would have been one hell on wheels kickass soldier and I know it and they screwed this up, not me or my thyroid. I was pissed for almost a decade about it but now I'm glad I didn't go because I wouldn't have my kids. I might have other kids with another guy, but not these. These are the best kids there are, ever. Every parent feels that way though, but I'm glad now I didn't go.

I've been rejected by guys too and there are two that I really, REALLY went after for a long time. Kinda like when the Marines told me no. When somebody tells me I can't do something I'm hellbent to prove them wrong. Most of the time I can but sometimes I can't. I remember two guys in particular who I tried so hard to date and to get past the friend zone but it didn't happen. Again, their loss. I know where they are now and occasionally talk to them on FB or something and they are fairly happy. One is broke and living in a crappy apt in Bham and painting pictures for a living after his dream of being a ROCK GOD fell through (of course it did but he didn't go into real estate with his dad like he should have) and the other one married the exact type of girl he said he would never marry, one he called a Jewish American Princess (he's a self hating Jew and a big whiner about everything on top of that but I used to find it endearing so I did everything for him but wipe his ass) and he's whining about his beautiful wife who is out of his league and his cushy job that is boring and none of the co-workers are cool like in the old days at the store we worked at, and his dad is scaring him by talking about his impending death from cancer and trying to force him to grow the hell up and take some responsibility for his own decisions and life which he still will not do after all these years so I'm better off not married to either of them. I still like them very much as friends and they are great guys, faults and all. They could both list many of my faults and I'm fine with that, friends can do that. But it still pisses me off that I didn't get to date either one of them and I gave it my A game.

I know that is not the same as your situation. I wanted to tell you that to try and relate a little though. Just because I have succeeded at lots of other things doesn't mean I succeeded at anything really. Yes I raised four kids and I'm a housewife and I'm proud of what I did. However I didn't do anything major out in the real world. If you look at my life through the ambition and motivation lens as you are seeing it, I haven't done s**t with my life. I actually feel like that sometimes. I had potential, I wasted it. Totally blew it with my live for today mentality that I still can't seem to shake. But, I'm happier allowing myself to be happy and not do s**t with my life and enjoy what I have than I would be if I was constantly working toward this goal or that client or the other contract or the partnership or tenure or joining a practice or whatever the hell I could have been doing in the white collar upper middle class world of those yuppie s**ts out there. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be a yuppie s**t but it's not in the cards for me. I also don't think I could keep up the attitude and mentality all the time, so I'd blow that cover fast.

You DO have ambition and goals. You are only seeing ambition and goals as a desire to do what you can't do. There are lots of others. There's guys out there with a GED who will never do more than work in a factory or construction and won't have retirement and will live paycheck to paycheck all their lives, but their goal is to get to work this week and bring home a good check and pay the power and the gas and give the wife some money for the house. Their ambition might be to keep this job long enough for benefits, or to simply stay above water. Tons and tons of people, regular NT people, have that ambition. That IS ambition. Tons of people have the ambition and motivation to go to work and make their money to spend on entertainment and gas to get to work and to enjoy their entertainment. That IS that ambition and goal. Not everybody can go to college. Not everybody can be a yuppie s**t. Not everybody is going to stand in the quad on graduation day with a smiling mom and dad taking pictures of them and their frat brothers smiling their capped teeth smiles into daddy's $2500 camera. Not everybody is going to make partner by 35. Not everybody is going to retire with a million in investments. Not everybody is going to retire early and travel. Not everybody is going to be that All American dream kid. Most will not.

Ambition is more than being the things you think society wants you to be. You have a job. You go to work and you do something there. That contributes. You're not saving lives or keeping innocent men out of the electric chair. You aren't putting out burning buildings or rescuing kittens. You are working in a gas station I think. I did that for years. I know a guy who managed gas stations all his life and was happy and that was his ambition. The bar is set in different places and who you are basically determines where your bar is. Your abilities and your opportunities and your overall attitude about everything and lots of other factors all determine it. There is nothing wrong with your ambition at all. Goals are goals. You are contributing to society. You aren't just laying around drinking Shlitz with hipsters and talking about how sad the world is and how you are going to just avoid participating in it because it's disappointing to you and on top of that the Cheesey Moon sold out and signed a recording contract, the bastards so forget listening to them now.

So don't discount yourself. You see yourself as bad off, as do tons of other people but there are some worse off than you and some who don't give a rats ass about going to work even if it's only to be able to buy new video games. It keeps you going doesn't it? It keeps you functioning and contributing to society doesn't it? The point of ambition and motivation is to help keep people contributing to it all the way from the ditch digger and garbageman to the doctor, lawyer, Indian Chief and POTUS himself. So you are doing your bit.

That doesn't change the other stuff in your life thats bothering you, but do try to believe me on this please. Aint a damn thing wrong with just making eight.

most gun ownering women tend to be super right and country girls. they want country boys with big trucks, that hunt. I'm a city guy and bit more left leaning on non gun issues. they tend to few people on sssi as thieves.

gun-lovers site?

you betcha.

doesnt' make sense to what people here say.