Let's face it. When most people hear that I am on the spectrum, they use it as an excuse to dismiss every thought or opinions that I choose to express. Don't listen to him, he is not right in the head, or something like that BS.
f**k. I do not have any cognitive disabilities. I do not have any intellectual disabilities. Even if I did, I don't deserve treatment like this. I am a motherf****ng human being, and why should I feel any shame over wanting to be treated like one?
The people who molested me when I was a child, the people who beat me when I was a child, the people who try to take advantage of my kind nature now that I am an adult..... They have infinitely more along the lines of basic human rights than what I will ever experience. And that frustrates me. I see exactly what is going on, I see and hear the prejudice of people who claim to be speaking for my best interests, and it pisses me the f**k off. I have an IQ of 160, recently tested, why are these c***s so afraid to allow me to speak for myself when I am fully capable of doing so?
They are afraid of me, I think. I am different, so they must beat me into complete submission.
f**k, I wish I knew how to talk my way out of that kind of situation. When I know I am being taken advantage of, yet all of my protests are dismissed as mere lunacy.
My therapist supports me, my psychiatrist supports me, and my friends support me. But my blood just wants me to keep on deep throating the people who see me as a punching bag or as an ATM machine.
I wish I could reach the point where I can tell my blood that I do not give a f**k about what they think about me, and mean it from the bottom of my heart.
I am beyond frustration. I am beyond anger. I am beyond righteous rage. I feel like I do not want to be a perpetual victim, yet people are forcing that role down my throat so rapidly that the chance for me to say no to that role is nil.
28 Sep 2015, 4:49 pm
