Death in the family, the cat has to go, and other stuff.

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Well, first let me say to two separate posters that I know this isn't my blog and yes I also know I have a lot of drama in my life but I have absolutely no control over that. I suggest you two simply skip over my post and go on about your not so merry ways and we will both be as happy as a hog in slop.

My MIL died this past week and I'm all nervous and waiting to see about the inheritance because my house and everything is riding on this. I don't think we will be screwed over completely nor do I think we will have access to everything, I think it will be there but tied up and in my SIL's control somewhat but will be there. I did not get along with my MIL, she hated me with every fiber of her being and I came to feel the same towards her but we acted civilly to each other for the most part. My husband and kids are doing ok with this, and are justifiably very upset but they will be ok. My husband even wanted to go to work on the days between when she died and the funeral, which was very impressive for him. I was very proud of him and told him so. It showed a lot of maturity.

My dead mother's cat has got to go too. I'm finding a home for it or if nobody can take her I'll have to have her put down. For no reason at all she's started taking a crap right in the middle of my dining room table or on the washer and dryer. It's been going on for weeks now and I've tried everything. It's not a physical problem because her poo is normal and well formed, she is going the same amount as before and the same times, and she always gets up and goes to the spot to use the bathroom rather than going right where she is when the urge hits like she would if it was incontinence or something else. I've done everything I can possibly do to try and fix anything she might dislike, and she's still taking a s**t on my dining room table almost every day. When it's not there, she's pooping and peeing on the washer or dryer. I cannot have that, and cannot let a cat's decision to not use her box ruin the table we eat our meals at or my appliances. That is just entirely too nasty and something nobody would put up with. She is also declawed front and back and has been for years so I can't just put her outside. Also she is too old to learn about going outside now anyway, she is 8 or 9 years old. I've asked our one local animal shelter to take her but she won't because she's "full", and I bet she is because she came into some money and blew it all on stray dogs and cats she takes into her house. She had a couple spare rooms converted into a pound of sorts and spends lots of money she doesn't have at the vet and everything else. I know her so well because I've known her for years and plus she's the mother of my oldest son's baby's crazy mother. So while we scraped together money along with my son and his new and good girlfriend to get my grandbaby some school clothes and supplies, she was blowing hers on stray animals and not doing a thing for her grandbaby. And now she won't take this one freaking cat even after I told her that if I haven't found a home or a shelter that will take her by Wednesday I'll have to have her put down. And the crazy baby mama who used to always say she wanted that cat, has now decided since she's pissed off at my son for moving on and not hanging around mooning over her and crying every night, that she doesn't want the damn cat anymore to some way or other get back at him for deciding he wants a decent woman and not her.

And now for some good news. Finally. I went to the doctor Thursday and got a script for my antidepressants. Unfortunately, this new girl who has joined the practice has been sucked into the way of thinking that is predominant around here, and that is that everybody who asks for anything psychoactive is drug seeking and must not be given anything at all, ever. I had asked for Welbutrin, 150mg twice a day and Lexapro 10mg once a day because it's what I've taken in the past and it's what works well for me. She wrote me the Welbutrin but gave me Celexa instead. Which I cannot take because it makes me suicidal. I'm aware that it's cheaper and very similar but it's not the same drug. It acts differently. I don't really want to be suicidal so I called and left a message and she finally got back to me and changed it. For the first two weeks taking this stuff, I have terrible insomnia and also headaches from it, until my body adjusts. I asked for two weeks worth of Ambien and a few pain pills of some sort. Norco would be great but Ultram (which is NOT a narcotic even though the dea had it reclassified)would work. She wrote me a script for Melatonin and Ibuprofin. Really? I suppose she assumed that I simply hadn't thought of trying something over the counter. Uh no, the OTC stuff does not work for me which is why I asked for something to be written. But I get nothing so Okey dokey. On the upside though, she is thorough. She ordered me a pap and pelvic at my next visit, and let me know about that ahead of time so I can shave my legs, a mammogram, a colonoscopy, and she gave me a referral to the eye doctor. So, other than some prescription issues I'm pretty pleased with her.

Also, I have been getting up every day and making myself get dressed and get out of my soft comfy bed where I'm watching NCIS and take a selfie and post it on FB of my outfit of the day and hairstyle of the day. It gives me something to do. So, that is pretty much it. If I think of anything else that I'm forgetting I'll be sure and come back and post it.

I'm just tired, very tired, and trying not to let myself get too depressed and also really worried about the money. I'll let you know about it when I know something about it though.

Later taters.

what a drama it is. i am glad my life is not embroiled in social stuff like that.
maybe the answer is to tell everyone to get f*cked and order them off the property and go and have a cup of tea and think about nothing.
that is what i would do.

Social stuff? How exactly is a mother in law's death and dealing with relatives and finances, a cat sh*****g in the wrong spot and a new doctor considered "social stuff"?

I'm glad I'm "embroiled in it" because it means I have a family and health insurance.

Who exactly should I tell to get f****d? My dead mother in law, or my sister in law, or my doctor that doesn't live here? I'm already getting rid of the cat.

Yeah, your solution has nothing whatsoever to do with anything I even mentioned.

here's hoping the inheritance comes through soon.

what works for me for sleep is melatonin plus 1/2 tsp powdered ginger in warm sweetened milk or water. milk is supposed to be better due to the tryptophan to serotonin thing, but i use water to reduce calories and it works just fine.

i wish i had a solution for the cat. can it be kept in a confined space until it does its business? when i have company, i keep my xenophobic cat in the bathroom with his litter box and some food and water.

You should keep the cat. It was special to your mother. It would be sad to put it down. It's a living animal.

If a cat previously had good toileting habits but suddenly starts sh!tting and peeing in the wrong place, particularly a place that's obviously inappropriate, such as a dining table or a bed (and they do realize those are attention-getting locations to a human), it's often because there is something wrong physically or emotionally.

An emotionally upset cat will display that behavior, but also a cat who is sick with something will also do this to literally get the attention of the human. It's their way of trying to ask for help of some kind.

You have a lot of other stuff to deal with, but if you or someone can get the cat to a vet just to check it over and see if there's some physical illness, there might be something going on.

Other than physical, the loss of its owner is enough to make it react with this behavior, and it may be temporary, but one way or another is a response to distress and a call for attention, which I totally get it not easy right now.

I second the fact that I want your inheritance to go through.

I hope things are able to work out for you.
I'm sorry to hear about your prescription issues with your doctor. Ultram has long been my painkiller of choice, though I can't take it now because of drug interactions. It wonderfully removes the pain and gives me that little mood boost that is so nice. Ambien is a time machine, pop it and boom, it's eight hours later. Both are great crisis drugs. They'll get you through the next two weeks and are very useful. I'm a little baffled at the Melatonin and Ibuprofin. You asked for something real, that will enable you to fix the issues you have causing the problems, and instead she hands you a script for something you can buy at Walmart, possibly for less than the copay.
Since you otherwise like her, you might want to clarify the things you've tried and why the OTC stuff isn't working. A little bit of, this is the problem, this is what I've tried, this is what has worked in the past, might be helpful. Also, something you might want to check into is the drug interactions. I'm not familiar with Welbutrin, nor Lexapro, but I do know that some of the good medications can really have severe synergistic side effects and that may be what she was worried about. The worst vertigo I ever had was an interaction between Ultram and an antibiotic, of all things. Since then I always check everything against http://www.rxlist.com/drug-interaction-checker.htm before taking anything new.
Anyway, good luck and stay safe.

Really sorry to hear of your troubles

Nothing worse than a cat not using the litter.that would be bad without all the other stuff you are dealing with.

I had this issue and I put the tray where she went then gradually moved it. So you could go from table to a low table next to table then floor, across floor to wall etc. far from ideal having a tray on your table though but might be worth a try.

It took a few days but it worked.

Ultimately your health is more important than a cat.

The vet lady is finding somebody to take her. I called again today and she's got people she's got people she's trying to get in touch with. She remembers my mother and the cat, so she talked to the vet who told her that it's ok to take the numbers home and try them from there since she can't reach them during the day when the office is open. She knows of quite a few cat crazy little old ladies and that's what she's gonna try and find for her. That's absolutely perfect for her. I was also up front about the situation with the s**t so she's gonna make sure she tells them too because I'm not gonna have somebody try and give her back. Ain't no lemon law on cats you take from people. Nope, nuh uh, not at all, no way, no how. So, maybe we can find something soon. I had originally said that Wednesday (tomorrow - well today now actually) was the deadline (no pun intended) but I'm giving it another week since the vet lady sounds hopeful. She completely understands and didn't go batshit crazy on me when I told her that even if we have to take her to the Humane Society (which is a kill shelter) that I would because my family and cleanliness is more important than a cat. She understood and agreed, but said she knows of some people who would even keep a brand new one that was doing that in their house so she is pretty sure she can find me someone before the week is out. Yay for the vet lady and yay for crazy little old cat ladies! I can eliminate the s**t problem without risking guilt over this damn cat!

Now, for the really important stuff. The will. They all went to the lawyers office today. My husband and his brother and sister. I thought it was going to be to read the will but it wasn't yet. Only to appoint my SIL as executrix of the will and all sign papers saying that's ok and to go ahead and give the will to a probate judge to start the process. It will be there for six months. That means during that time if any creditors have a claim against the estate they have to file it. She had no debt of any sort so that won't be a problem. The medical bills are taken care of and her insurance had no deductible and everything else had been paid off years ago. She wasn't paying on any loans or anything like that, nor mortgages. Also they will assess and appraise everything. Her house will be looked at as well as the properties they own both here and overseas, my house will be looked at too, and her car, and they will go through everything in her house and appraise it. Furniture, jewelry, furs, all that stuff. They look at every single thing she owned. They get old tax returns and make sure that they have all the accounts although her money man has all that information to give them, so then they add everything up, subtract the individual gifts that are listed for specific people like their grandkids and great grandkids, their church, their colleges, and charities they liked, and then what is left is divided into thirds and all three of their kids get that. The house she lived in goes to them all but doesn't get sold. That means that one can buy the other two out of they will sell and my SIL wants to do that and the lawyer told her he thinks she will have the money to do that after the will is read. Back in the late 1980's that place was valued at 2.5 million and since then the area has really been built up and is very nice now. No telling what it was worth then, so if she will have enough cash to buy out the other two thirds of whatever it is, we will each be getting at least a million and more than likely a couple or three. I am not bragging but all I can say is holy f*****g s**t on a shingle Batman! I knew they had money and I knew they would leave it to their kids but I never actually wrapped my brain around getting it like this. I guess I always imagined that something would happen so we didn't. I know we haven't gotten it yet but the lawyer told them what he could and gave hints that he could give and it's there and it's coming to us.

Yesterday I was really pissed off and upset because our food stamps were cut off and today I'm finding out that in March I'll be a millionaire. All the times I've thought "If I had the money, I'd sure do x, y, or z" aren't really things I'm gonna do though. Also, I know it's my husbands money coming to us but I handle the money and make the money decisions and we have talked about this. He just wants a few thousand to blow and then the rest of it is up to me to do something with, he knows I'm responsible about the money is why it's that way. I want to get insulation in the house, better insulation cause we don't have much and what we do have is crap, so that the power and gas bills will go down and stay down, and I want to send my youngest daughter to college - a good four year college, and I want to put something away for my husband's retirement cause we have nothing at all saved and no retirement plan or account or anything. All he would get is social security and only a thousand a month which we couldn't live on. It's very, very hard to get by on two thousand a month as it is now.

I don't really know what else to say. My head is still spinning from all this. My meds are doing ok and I'm getting used to them again and soon I'll be all happy Martha Steward OOM, so all will be well with the world. I have no clue about anything I want to do with the money for fun, except I do want to get my teeth fixed. Re-bonded or something again because the bonding I got in the 80s hasnt been replaced and it's yellowed and looks like I'm nasty and don't brush even though I do. That's probably the only way I'll "blow it", but thats actually needed.

So, just holy s**t. Wow. Never thought I'd be a millionaire for real. There is a big difference between knowing something is there and you will get it and then having all that confirmed by someone in authority who really does know and has access to the info. Just, wow.

congratulations. in what you invest for retirement, here's a rule of thumb 100 minus your age for percentage in stocks (probably best in a mutual fund with low fees and loads), the rest in bonds or CD's. perhaps less in stocks as earning that kind of scratch back might not be in the cards even though you're young and stocks are a crap shoot. if you buy to hold, odds are overwhelming that they'll go up eventually, but if they're down when you need the money, you're out of luck.

Congratulations

Some nice compassion for an animal on this thread; not.

And nice work attaching "crazy" once again to people who HAVE enough compassion to give a home to and work with a disturbed animal. I GET that you can't, but there's need to be so f*****g cavalier about this animal in the words you use to describe the situation.

You and your attitude to this cat's issues whether you kept it or not is exactly why animals are better than humans.

Enjoy all your money. I work my butt off all my life.

Let the damn thing s**t on your table where you and your family eat time after time and lets see how much compassion you have for it. It also put my mother in the hospital right after she got it, because she got cellulitis from a cat scratch. Almost killed her then, although that wasn't her fault she can't help the bacteria she has on her nails - and it's why she's declawed now so my mother could keep her as well as stopping her from tearing up the carpet in her house.

I also work my butt off all my life, even though I didn't go out and earn money most of the time I was the mom at home who cleaned and cooked and mended and nursed the sick and helped with homework and ran every single thing, made all the decisions, handled all the business, and did every single thing that had to be done. That is a whole lot of work and I do it 24/7, I don't get to walk away from it and just sit down and not have to think about it again until the next morning when I clock in. It's a full time, constant job and I'm on call all the time for when somebody needs something. You tell me that's not working my butt off. Just try to, with any seriousness or credibility.

I dont dislike animals. I dont dislike cats either, but I don't like them. I'm not a cat person. I like dogs though, big dogs. I have three and they are family and I love them and would do anything in the world for them. I simply dislike this one particular cat who has always been mean to every single person she's ever encountered other than my mother. Nobody knows why. She bites, she used to scratch, she hisses, she hits now, she allows you to pet her for a second then she attacks your hand or whatever part she can get. She is not a good animal. She's just not. Just because she's covered in fur does not mean she is automatically a delightful little ball of fluffy feline joy you know. Animals have personalities just like humans do and not all of them are wonderful. I've had cats before I was over the moon about, but this one I doubt anyone would be over the moon about. Nobody can get along with this cat. Seriously. Even my mother said so.

So, I'm a horrible person because I've typed inconsiderately about the cat on an internet forum, or I'm a horrible person because my husband is inheriting some money from his parents?

You know, you don't seem me covering her with steak sauce and throwing her to the dogs when they are in the back yard do you? You don't see me just throwing her out of the car by the side of the road do you? You don't see me kicking her or smacking her for sh*****g on my f*****g dining room table do you? No. None of those things are going on. I'm trying to find her a new home and speaking harshly about her on an internet forum. Dear God I must be the worst person in the world to do such a thing!

As for the inheritance, I don't see what your problem is with it. Jealousy? I can understand that but not hatred of me because of it. It's not like I connived my way into this and am just sitting back planning to use the money to torture more cats or something. It's money my in laws left for their kids and their kids' families and we are using ours for important things. College for our youngest, repairs on the house, and my husbands retirement. And if you think being a housewife isn't hard work, you best the thinking again because it is. I don't know how your mother was, but I was a good mom and good wife and everybody had what they needed and I did my job. And if you think my husband didn't work for anything then you are nuts. He's an electrician and has been doing construction work for over 30 years. He's 52 years old and does hard physical labor in the Alabama heat over 100 degrees and in the winter too and believe it or not it does get cold down here and he's working in places not wired up for heat yet. So don't you dare say he doesn't work hard. He just couldn't be an engineer like his dad was because he has severe dyslexia. You wanna start hating on somebody for that? I didn't think so.

So, what is your problem with me exactly? I'd really rethink that pouty post being over me typing about the cat on the internet in a way you didn't like.

OOM, did you try the ginger?

i thought about replying to birdinflight that this is the haven and not a place to nitpick, but then again didn't think her petty comment worth a reply. and i have a cat. he's affectionate with us, but hisses at strangers and tries to eat the vet. we spend a small fortune on for special food and medicine for his kidney failure. this cat-lover is on your side, OOM. not everyone has to love every cat.

I'm happy for you OOM. Good stuff.
I think you are doing right by the cat, and feeling upset about the situation is perfectly normal.

Good luck and stay safe.