Some things really should not hurt, but they do.

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I know that I come from a bloodline of narcissists and codependents. I know that I should be taking everything they say with more than a single grain of salt.

Yet they really do know which buttons they need to press if they really want to get under my skin. I feel defenseless quite often against their verbal tirades against my recovery.

I know exactly what is going on, but my gut reaction is to break and let people do whatever they want to do to me.

Maybe it is easier to be a victim. Maybe it is easier to be bullied into submission. Maybe I am perpetually weak.

Or maybe I do not know how to hold my ground. The desire to persevere and thrive is there. The motivation is there. The spiritual armor is sorely lacking.

I hope this post makes sense.

Sorry to hear that..


I found every valuable thing requires time and effort even if an individual was born with it.
Regarding to interaction with people, it's hard to track which one causes which.
But still nothing is impossible if you devote enough time and energy to achieving it.

Do you think you have ever analyzed why you are so fragile to others' comments?

Honestly, I am not so fragile as to let some random people who don't know me get under my skin.

The people that I tend to crumble under are the people in my blood family. I am getting better about not crumbling in front of them, so that's a start.

I guess I just am having a tough time accepting that I will never have a healthy upbringing with capable parents and an extended family support system that is driven by things that are not narcissism or codependency. I guess I have to grieve that I will never experience that. I have to move the f**k on from this stage eventually, though.

I hope you will meet strong people in your life who you will teach you a few things through their way of being that will help you grow as a person.

I guess your family members are not happy about their own toxicity either,, as much as you don't like..They maybe happened to be that way..maybe their parents and parents' parents made them that way..

I hope you could forgive them…as the first step before anything else..

Yeah, I have to learn how to forgive them. Not for their sake, but for my own. I would rather not be carrying around this frustration for the rest of my life.

Yeah, it's for your sake..for you to let them removed from your mind.