I got the newly diagnosed blues...

Post Reply New Topic

Sounds like I need a B.B. King riff here... cue the electric guitar...

So I got my diagnosis two months ago. I was relieved and happy at first, like, wow! Maybe I can get some help now, and I'm not alone, how cool! I told my family, and they've been awesome and supportive.

And now, I'm struggling a bit more. I am feeling like I have a critical vulnerability, like I am realizing I am missing something that most of the world has, and they can hurt me with it and take advantage of me (and already have). So far a lot of the places I've called for some sort of therapy don't treat adults, or adults over 22. I struggle at work but am afraid to come out to explain what the issue is.

I guess I'm going through some grieving... I always knew I was a bit different but never realized HOW different most other people were from me. Some of the stuff NTs write about us is really hurtful, including clinical publications from psychologists, a lot of whom seem to be about as smart as a bag of gravel. I'm also grieving for all the lost friendships, lost job opportunities, my flunked graduate degree, and other struggles.

Does it get easier? Do I find a "new normal" where I feel okay about myself?

Yes, you will likely find a new normal in time.
Highs and lows associated with autism diagnosis will fade.
Maybe even not care about autistic or not in time.

I went through a lot of those feelings too, when I was first diagnosed. Lost the only friend I'd had in 10 years, and learned that she preferred thinking of me as socially inept and dysfunctional for no reason.

It definitely gets better though! It's been 3 years for me, and I'm getting to a point where I'm comfortable with who I am, my family knows and accepts it, and I enjoy being solitary, and not torturing myself by trying to do social things "just because it's what people are supposed to do".

Understanding yourself and your issues is infinitely better than not understanding why everything is such a struggle, so you are on the right path!

In my opinion, it is best to wait for self to mellow out about autism diagnosis before informing others.
Reactions from others may not be what one wants, and that will be more of a problem for self during early post-diagnosis phase when one has strong feelings than later when one is mellow and zen about the whole thing.