I'm miserable

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I try to fake being optimistic and make other members feel good about themselves here, but in reality my life sucks. I was bullied throughout the entire school. Now that I'm in college it has finally stopped, but I'm lonelier than ever. Everybody avoids me like I had the plague, because they sense people who are wired differently and have an unconscious aversion toward them. I thought I made a friend in college, but he broke contact with me after a short time. I don't ever see myself getting a job and having a happy life. I study engineering but due to my chronic loneliness I have no motivation to actually study. Life is meaningless without socialization. The need to bond with others is a basic human need, and being an aspie means you can't fulfill it. My teenage years are gone for good. To escape from my misery I have two video games that I play regularly, but soon I will probably start drowning my sorrow in alcohol.
I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life.

I'm sorry you feel this way. Hugs for you

I once felt as you did when I first started college. There were two things that changed me. The first was meeting people with similar interests and the second was participating in college activities, namely the yearly Snow Carnival. My suggestion would be to see if there are any clubs centered around one or more of your interests. Finding one will allow you to find people you may have an easier time socializing with. Most colleges have a club registry that you can look up for just this purpose.

Also most colleges will have a guidance counselor on campus. Go to them and see what recommendations they can give. Not only will they usually know some good coping techniques, but they also tend to know about some of the events you might be able to participate in and how to get started.

It's like there's some invisible cloud of pestilence around us.

I went through a very similar experience my sophomore year of college last year. I still sort of am going through it. I nearly failed and am still dealing with the consequences. I wouldn't be so sad about seeing your teenage years gone, they were just the bloody tutorial as far as I'm concerned now and no one wants to do that twice. You made a good choice going into engineering, there are so many jobs out there for that field it isn't even funny. What games do you play?

Star Wars Jedi Outcast
GTA San Andreas

I wish I was NT. That way I could have a healthy social life. But nooo, I had to be born an aspie. Most people are NTs, why couldn't I be one of them? I hate unfair life is.

Do you like engineering? People with good jobs and money cos of them have certain advantages. They also involve socialising and variety out of college. Perhaps your aspie 'uniqueness' in time you can make work for you. Remember these are still your formative years, often slightly extended for aspies.

I don't really like engineering and I have no interests other than those two games I play. I chose engineering simply because it's lucrative.

I figured Jedi Outcast was one, good game, definitely don't make them that good anymore when it comes to in game mechanics. Never played San Andreas, I've played V though and it helped erase my squeamish behavior towards certain subjects.

It is lucrative, do you think you could develop an interest in it, or an aspect of it? I am doing art, which is f*****g useless. at least you might have some cash, i will be perpetually poor.
Perhaps n time you will find some things of interest to you.

The way I see it careers aren't always meant to be your life passion, but just a resource so you can afford to follow your actual interests.

I had that problem as well studying didn't have any friends I did eventually make a couple. But they were never close friends.

I personally had to drop college and university education wise they just didn't work for me. But luckily I had been teaching my self to program as a hobby from a young age and walked straight into a job as I passed all there aptitude questions I was 18 then and not been unemployed since, was a fluke really prob be unemployed now if I hadn't had that interest.



There are huge demands for artists from general design work to game graphics, well I know where I am there are demands suppose it depends where you are. So don't think you will be poor its a good choice . I always wished I was better at art but can never concentrate long enough

Yeah sometimes that is the case, but as long as you got cash to follow your interests that's all that matters.

ally
Thanks, trouble is i have no interest in game graphics, advertising, or any graphic/illustration art. Basically the kind where people pay you money that is

What kind do you like doing then?

If I were to describe my usual emotional state with a gif: