Life is getting More Hard!

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Why is it very hard for me to stay happy? Now I HATE life again! I'm sooo lonely in life, I only have one friend, maybe two, my neighbors, I don't talk to the woman vey much, she works, I do text her, her husband, he nice, I had my first long conversation with a man. So I'm not really shy, only with guys that I have a crush on, I can be shy meeting new people, a lot of times I'm not, I'm weird that way. I wish I wasn't sooo lonely. I hate my life so much right now, I have no boyfriend (probably NEVER going get one) I don't have enough friends off the internet, I can't work, I can't act my age, I'm having trouble with my speech, I been emotional & crying, I have a health problem, I got a feeling something physical wrong with me, I know it is wrong to say this, I want to have something so I can die.

Oh Kitty!

At least you know what you want. And I believe you will find a good man eventually.

At least you've made friends.

I understand you feel sad and frustrated. At these times, I tend to go on my computer and do research about what I"m interested in.

By the way, you don't have to act your age. You can act in your 20's, and still be an adult .

I'm sorry you're going through a rough stretch Kitty. You sound really depressed right now, and the only thing you can do is keep getting up in the morning, eventually you'll find something that will give you satisfaction even if you don't believe it right now. I'd also recommend not feeling too much burden from your social interaction-- you don't have full control over those, other people have as much say in those as you do. I'd actually recommend taking a bit of a break from socialization, not long, but a little one because I get the sense it has worn you down. It's always hard when someone doesn't like you, but realize the situation last week was out of your control-- it doesn't mean the guy in question couldn't have liked you, just that he was already off the market. You have my best wishes-- I hope you get through this relatively quickly.

Hi kitty4770. Think I got ur name wrong. Hope you're feeling better. I often wish the same thing when I'm low.to have the decision out of my hands. It really can be hard work trying to be happy. I'm just starting to get out of a depression. Not even good days yet but parts of certain days and I'm trying to distract myself in healthier ways than drinking and c ideation.lol. when I'm really happy and healthy I'm still a total mess. I always try really hard to remember that life is more about perception and less about conditions. I'm horrible at managing conditions and many of them aren't going to change anyway. I can be aware of my perception. Catch 22 is when you try and force your perception to change. Then it just becomes another condition. That's where surrender/acceptance/f**k it kind of attitude really shines!? Or not. Hang in there.