Just Dropped In To See What Condition My Condition Was In!! !

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Hi Dudes.
I've been an avid reader here for years.
Love the site.
Too shy to post until now.
I'm only posting in the hope that some one may understand how i feel at this moment in time.
I'm very sorry if this is too heavy as well.
But i have no where else to turn for support.
Here's hoping i can hopefully get some advise about my feelings at the mo.

Here we go.

I'm 51.
I was married for 12 yrs untill 3yrs ago.
Suppose she had enough of my wonky ways lol!!

But last year a lovely lass met me and loved me.
And i soon loved her.
I felt so lucky to find such a wonderful person.
She was a little BiPolar but we worked great together supporting each other.
I felt like a teenager again!! !!

But...
She was taken into hospital on the 24th of Dec with issues.
Cancer.
Her funeral is next Tuesday.

I only have my parents to speak to in life.
And they just cut me off on the phone.
Don't want to talk about it.
CHANGE THE SUBJECT!! !!

FFS!! !! !! !
I AM the one who is "supposed" to be the dick about emotions!! !

How am i supposed to negotiate this SHITE NT bollocks?! !! !!
Yeah i have gone NUTS about emotions in the past about simple s**t.
But.....
Hang on....
FFS!! !! !! !!
My girlfriend just died!! !!

I now just feel utterly nuts.
Deluded.
A ranting lunatic with no one to help.
Or worse....

I now question my sanity when one cannot get support from the "nearest and dearest"! !! !

What is the point when no man can offer support to another in pain?

So Yeah.
I'm just checking in to see what my "condition" my "condition" is in lol!! !!

The Big Lebowski may have saved my life.

Any advice is welcome thank you.
Especially from Donny....

sending you sympathy. This stinks big time. I do not have words.

I can't give advice. Except to say people here are listening and maybe some people will care and not
know what to say. Because sometimes people don't know how to react. Grief is a kind of madness.

I am a bit s**t on Forums.
They just FREAK me out.
But thank you for both responses.

I'll keep checking back to see if you post. Can't imagine anything worse to go through. Hang in there. I'm sure also that a lot of people might care and not know what to say or do. (Well, I can't give advice, but I know that some people say about
grief that you might have to tell people what you need, like say if you want or don't want to talk, or telling them if you want or don't want to be comforted. even if there is no comfort for this.)

That sounds pretty horrible man. I can't say I know what to say either I'm glad you cherished the short time that you did have together and hopefully have plenty of good memories of you two to hold on to when you are feeling lost and alone.

We had a great time together that i will cherish for ever.
She enabled me and i did her.
I just cannot understand others reactions.
Fries my brain!!

This is not spam.
Why are their so few replies?
Do i "need" to have jumped through some hoops here?
I'm tired of jumping through hoops ALL my LIFE!! !! !
Is this some private club?! !! !
What are the rules "you" guys have?
This is the third time i have "tried" to confirm to "your" way of life!! !! !!
I give up!! !! !
Thanks to the few peeps who tried to help.

I hope the above is just a meltdown. I'm sorry your girlfriend died. Do you always get SO angry, SO fast, when you don't get the response you wanted? Did you do this with your family of origin, and is that why they hung up on you?

People here have other things going on than waiting for a post to answer. Actually from the title of the thread, I thought it was something kind of glib and cheerful. Had you titled it "My true love died," you might have had more views and more support.

I hope you calm down enough to conduct yourself the right way at the funeral. Do you know her family at all? Are they who is managing the funeral?

This is a very sad place to be. But a famous poet wrote, it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. You have my sympathy.

From my experience, I believe you've gotten a pretty good amount of responses, actually.

I've started threads where I've been totally ignored.

Responses usually come in bunches--sometimes a couple of days or more between responses, sometimes a few seconds. That's the way this Forum works.

People DID respond--and respond substantially.

Seems like a troll to me. I've rarely seen anyone on here react in that manner who wasn't one.

I hope you are doing okay Epimetheus, although I don't know what could be okay after such a loss.

Forums are strange places and grief is also another planet.

It's true about it being hard to get replies here. I tried to start some threads to start conversations
and they sort fo ground to a halt. I've been on other forums for hobbies that are busier. I think here
things are scattered because there are so many threads at once and new threads all the time. The only
way to generate interest in a thread is to come back and renew it by posting again. I posted a poll a few
days ago and it seemed that people need to get familiar with other people in some way.

Hello.
I have tried to reply to everyone here personally and appropriately or justly (in MY opinion).
I would like to think that if i saw 10 first posts pleading for help i would reply to those 10.
But i cannot as i am not skilled enough to help at this moment.
But if i DID and ONE turned out to be a hoax or "spam" or whatever is modern lingo for beat nicks then i WOULD laugh off that 1/10!! !!
WHY?! !!
Because if ANY of the 9/10th miss support then WE are failing as a Community!! !
I was suicidal the last time i posted.
And i AM NOT NOW!! !! !
Because of the words of ONE respondent here!! !!
ONE person said enough for ME to understand.
And i believed THEM!! !!
Thanks Dude.
You saved Donny.

So thank you.

Epimetheus sent a very angry and inappropriate PM to me. I do not come here and participate in the forums to have discombobulated anger and scorn heaped upon me.

Does anyone know how I can block PMs from unwanted persons? I simply could not find a "block" feature, which is astonishing. The most I could find was the "foe" feature which as far as I can tell, does nothing.

I found your public reply to my "Meltdown" reprehensible and informed you of that in private.
You then decide to bring that into the public.
Why ARE you here in MY thread?