Please help me .

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What I am saying is that , after years of non-knowledge , I would like it if some Asppie here (Or , indeed , non-Aspie , or their friend/agent not here . .) could help me learn how to do common computer/phone/portable things ~ Which I REALLLY dfo no know how to do !
Please ?
I promise to you (who might do it) , I SWEAR , I will NEVER ask you you for monney , or stuff , or a place to stay ~ I just want to meet , at a library or similar , or a cafe/similar , and show me how to do the things WHICH , AT THE AGE OF FIFTY-SIX AND THE LIKELIHOOD OF NOT MAKING IT TO FIFTY-SEVEN , I don't know how to do !
If I would just get SHOWN I'm sure I could improve !
I can't put my picture up on Facebook !
I couldn't put something up on YouTube !
I NEDD SOMEBODY TO SHOW ME ~ - On a typical Library computer/s , I guess , I suppose they're like " real " computers ~ Or whatever Internet cafes/other public spots remain ~ Or , on a portable/smartphone of mine , which I of course would pay for myself , just as I wuld NEVER ask you for any stuff , NEVER , EVER , EVER , just information/knowledge (If we went to a Starbucks/similar I'd pay for all my food myself , even !) ~ ISN'T THIS VIRTUOUS ENOUGH FOR YOU ?
ISN'T THIS " I'M NOT ASKING FOR ANYTHING I DON'T DESERVE " ENOUGH ? ISN'T THIS " VIRTUOUS HOMELESS GUY , NOT ASKING HIS ' BETTERS ' FOR ANYTHING " ENOUGH ? I JUST WANT THE MAGIC KINGDOM OF INFORMATION !
I JUST GOT ON MY KNEES , right between people on machines on either side of me , and keeled in front of the machine (getting some funny stare/s) and went " PLEASE " !
PLEASE ?
ICAN'T " go across town and take a course , I am still pretty crippled , and a librarian is NOT going to sit you down and show you things at length MAYBE they'll show you one thing and tell you to " go away " .
By ll objective standards , I guess this Aspie had a pretty sh***y life .
Can't someone , among 7.1 million people in the Bay Area , make their way to downtown San Francisco and meet me some times to show me how to put up an icon , etc. ?
All the " modern " stuff ?
Like I said , I WILL NOT ASK FOR ANYTHING ~ Even XFilles Geek must see that !
I'm NOT ASKING FOR ANY STUFF !
Before I die , maybe ...

...I have a curfew at the shelter where I am , so " going ot across town " is hadly do-able - Especially when I am (if , POSSIBLY , recovering a LITTLE BIT) ~ CRIPPLED ! !! !! !! !! !! " Doing cool things while you're shlter-hiomeless " is a problem that way .
You know , I once ~ at Kickstarter ? ~ triedto put up a " Asperger's Wants To Go Back To College " (leaving out that ANY going back to college/uni is now seeming at best like a cherished dream that can NEVER be , as I let the balloon go and get ready to lie down & die) , but , unable to put up an icon/symbol , I couldn't do it ...........

...As I fold in and ~ maybe ~ prepare to , or anyway get ready to , die ~ I think about something that happened to me .
When I was 16 .
I have never spoken about it here .
Arguably , my life was meaningless/on the " Doomed " track after that .
I've wanted to just find some-one ~ some people - I could collapse in the the rms of and tell them about it ~ NOT a " professional " , a psych , or couselor , " helping professional " ~ but a human being .
If I could find a few of them to do it , cry about my life-long trauma before I did (in their ~ non-sexual ~ arms) before I did ~ Perhaps I'll have accomplished something .
Wetted up again .

The SF Public Libraries have classes right there and offer one-on-one help with computers, tablets, and phones. The help you want is right there. Look at all the times they're offered. This is at the Main Library. It's free. Yes, you have to arrive at specific times. Yes you probably have to sign up. There is even a Facebook Basics class next Wednesday.

http://sfpl.org/index.php?&t=3&s=74&m=a ... 1100000001


So at this point, if you refuse to utilize this help, we can only assume the reason you want an individual from here to "help" is to ask them for an item or funds to purchase something.

...To say just one thing , it sure seems you're obsessed/fascinated with the idea " Oh , no He might ask for money/' stuff ' ! even when I said that I WOULDN'T , repeatedly . Hm ???

I'm not fascinated at all. Just pointing out that you have all the help you've been requesting right there at the library so there is no need to keep begging for someone to help you personally. It's not necessary.

If you wanted a friend and asked for that, that would be one thing, but you keep asking for people to serve some other purpose for you. You protest that you don't want money or gifts, but do it so often it's feeling like a hint to me.

...No .
I'm not going to (if this should ever happen ) ask .
You sure are obsessed with fearing that I MIGHT
I am crippled , have this bizarre situation at the shelter keeping me there , don't have the equipment , don't look great...Why don't you try living what I have to live through ?
And there's the possible dying , too .

..et me , please , point out some things about ,y situation .
I have this massively screwed up sleeping pattern , with a liights-out at 9:30 PM IIRC , and , if anything , me fighting off wanting to sleep before then ~ But , that leads to me waking up at 1 , 3 , AM , with NOTHING , really , to do , they make us have our lights out ~ And I have no tablet or phone to watch , as some there doo (I can try to read with a flashlight ~ Or eat junk food . ) I'll maybe get back to kind-of sleep eventually , then , if woken for breakfast at 6 AM , eat and then , with nohing to do , go back to bed ~ Eventually sort of drifting off , then , being kind of 3/4 (or 1/2) asleep into the early afternoon (IF forced having-the-lights-on ) doesn't make it worse .
In the early afternoon (or not so early) , I really want to stay in bed ~ The whole theory is that I can rest in bed ~ some ~ there ~ TO DEAL , SAY , WITH THE CONDITION THAT MIGHT KILL ME ? - But , if I stay there indefinitely: (1) I'll never get anything done (2) I won't be able to go to sleep that night . So I forced myself out .
To-day , I left the shelter at 1:45 PM , and , with lots of rests , made it up to the library area at 3:15 , with lots of rests .
CAN YOU SEE THAT I'M A CRIPPLE ! !! !! !! !! !!
AND , my window of time to do things is VERY short .
I could , maybe , go to a class at the library ~ If someone would go along with me .
They would help me with the things that (likely) the library staff WOULN'T go into detail on , we could work with each other aloalater , they could avocate for me and help me with the crippledness and transportation and time ~ Please ?

...Perhaps people at the library might be more co-operative than I picture them being ~ But I don't think they'd be as all-purpose nice as you picture them being .
If I had someone to back me up , someone to be behind me ~ that could help me SO MUCH ! !! !! !! !! !!
Again , I would notm ask for money , or a place to stay , or any gifts , or even , if we " went to Starbucks/McDonalds to use their WiFi " , money for food there ~ Really !
Have I rather established that I am VERY handicapped ?
As far as getting a smartphone , eventually , after planning it , I could get one (paying for it myself , of course) myself ~ I would have to plan it carefully , however .
Please ~ Won't somebody compromise here ? With help , I COULD learn !

..I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HELP ME .
Please .

I'll be honest here, I dont think your approach to this is going to work at all. You make topics like this pretty often, but they dont seem to go anywhere. At least from what I've seen.

People on the internet arent going to be a good source of help... or any help at all, really, in some cases. You can make friends on here, but they'll pretty much always be long-distance friends, and unable to assist in many situations.

But in an overall sense... looking for major help on an internet forum of all places is... not a good way to seek help. You're going to be stuck in your troubled situation until you go and DO something about it yourself. Not asking for help from others. Simply seeking a solution, and bloody well DOING it.

Something like this, for instance. You're clearly already using a computer of some sort to interact with this forum. You're clearly already on the internet. If you're able to get on the Net at all, you're also capable of using Google, Bing, or even Youtube, to find tutorials on the things you want to learn. And then all you need to do is take the time to read and/or watch through the tutorial. If you have time to post these topics and browse the forums, well... All this time spent asking for help could have been used to learn the very thing you want to know. Could have been used to take steps towards achieving something positive. But instead, you're just... sorta waiting and hoping it's handed to you. Which isnt likely to happen. This may be part of why your situation is so bad to begin with, and seemingly getting worse, from what I've read.

It's not just you, either... situations of this type happen to everyone. What I mean is, situations where the only way for the person to get out of it, is to get THEMSELVES out of it... not hope others will help. I remember having something like that happen once. I was in my car, starting to make the drive home from Wisconsin... a trip that normally takes about 2 hours. But then it hit: the single worst blizzard I've ever seen, and I was stuck in it. It was both extremely dangerous, and very scary. Not helping was the fact that I passed a TON of cars/trucks/vans that had clearly shot off the road, and were in ditches or half buried in snow drifts, and here I am in a small car that doesnt handle very well on ice. Turning around was absolutely out of the question (never would have gotten the thing to make that maneuver), and there was nobody around to help in what was quickly becoming a frozen wasteland (this also being in the absolute middle of nowhere; no city, no town, no buildings, just fields and trees and broken-down roads). If I didnt get MYSELF out, on my own, I'd get stranded in a very bad situation. Totally alone. Didnt exactly have confidence that i could do it... in fact I was SURE I couldnt. But I bloody well went and did it ANYWAY. Just refused to lose. And you know what? I made it home. All those other cars got stranded. *I* didnt. 6 or 7 nightmare hours later, and I was back home. And that taught me that sometimes even seemingly impossible situations can be overcome if you have the willpower and the smarts to seek a solution, and are willing to TRY.

All in all, if you want to make friends, or just talk to people, yes, this is the sort of place to go. That's what we're all here for. Heck, you can feel free to talk to me if you want to for whatever reason, even. But for the sort of thing you're after, this is likely not the place to get it.

I know this is harsh, but I'm just being absolutely honest here, as giving lies or whatever just to make you feel better briefly isnt going to accomplish anything.

You *can* accomplish some things on your own. Start small, gain confidence, and work your way towards bigger things. But you have to believe it. The moment you start to believe you cant... you've already lost.

...ALL I AM ASKING FOR IS A LITTLE HELP ! !! NOT money .