Have to go to a wedding

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Hi All, Sorry, I know this is really petty but it's bothering me a lot and I feel like you guys are the only ones I can share my real self with. I have to go to the wedding of a coworker in three weeks. I feel like I can't wear pants to the wedding and I haven't worn a dress in years. I don't even have one that fits me because I have gained twenty pounds in the last five years since my husband and I both lost the jobs we had for thirty years and had to relocate 2,000 miles away. That amplified my depression and thus the weight gain.

I have been ordering dresses online so I don't have to go out in the world and shop. So far I have returned everything I have ordered because I feel it makes me look like a blimp. I guess there is no way to disguise a blimp. I want to wear something that will enable me to just blend in and be a wall flower because I hate being in crowds and I can't make conversation and I don't dance.

It's actually two coworkers that are marrying each other and will be living two houses down the street from us. So I really feel I can't skip out on the wedding and reception.

As I said, I realize this is petty as far as the world's problems go. Sorry, I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

I can't advise on the dress situation. I haven't owned a dress for ... wait, ever. But I was very relieved to find that my suit still fitted me when I had to go to a wedding last month. How much time do you have before the wedding?

I went to a wedding last month. There were definitely some women there in trouser suits, work colleagues of the bride I'm pretty sure. I was more concerned about the fact that most of the guests didn't have English as a first language! - It was a bilingual couple. Like you, the crowds thing was a big worry but fortunately there was no dancing.

Oh god online clothes shopping!! ! NO NO NO NO NOPE! Especially if you're not used to buying clothes for your body the size it is right now. The issue is really just, like, a math one...the more weight you have the more the distribution of it on your body can be different from what the garment has. This makes it exceptionally hard to find things that will look right the first time you buy something.

I have had issues with clothes fitting me ever since puberty; the distribution of my weight and me being short makes it exceptionally hard to find any sort of bottom that fits properly. Dresses are also quite hard because the waist generally falls too low on me.

If you have a bit of money, go to a bit of a nicer store (not like swank but not Walmart) where the people working there probably get paid some commission. Go when it's not busy, like early morning if you can on a workday. Browse a few things that you like the look of and try some on, then actually ask the salesperson for help if none of those worked. If they know and like their job they should be able to help you find something and they will probably have fun doing it and you might too. There are literally people out there whose job it is to make you look and feel good so you will buy their clothes, take advantage of that. Make sure that you go a place that will have plus size clothing if you're now into anything over a size 12 or 14 US/Canada. If you're under 5'5 you might want to make sure they also have petites.

Also, right, the older you are the easier it is to get away with wearing a nice pant-like outfit. You by no means need to wear a skirt/dress.

And there are just certain styles that might not look good on you anymore that once did re the online shopping. It's not necessarily just weight gain but since you're likely post-menopausal your figure will have changed shape regardless. It happens to everyone, and that's OK. Most older women will get more tummy fat.