I wonder...

Post Reply New Topic

I've heard or read that " If you don't love yourself, no one else can really love you"

and that " If you don't like yourself, know one else will"

Well if this is true? I don't know what to do. I can just leave this place that is for sure!

Hehh? I think that is baloney!
People will always love you, regardless of who you are or what you think as yourself. Myself included.

Too bad there is no delete button... (At least not that I can find) Oh well well

People will love you regardless though if you have a lot of self loathing for whatever reason it may interfere with forming relationships.

Well it's good to know that it isn't either "black" or "white" then.

I think where that saying comes from has some merit. If your self-esteem is very, very low, it's hard to believe others can love you. Which makes a loving relationship difficult. It can lead to someone not being able to open up, to make themselves vulnerable because they view themselves so unworthy. It also can make one desperate in some respects. If you do not love yourself, yet have love to give, you will be desperate to find someone to give it to, which can lead to bad relationships as well.

It's not black/white, but self loathing is generally not attractive to many people. And the ones that are intrigued by it would be a mess their own selves and you never know what you're getting there.

I think you nailed it beakybird.

The frustrating thing is that it's a catch-22.

People don't like you if you have low-self esteem, but it's caused by people not liking you.

It's not a coincidence people with low self esteem tend to be lonely, have few friends, and have suffered either abuse as a child and/or massive amounts of bullying or social rejection.

What's worst of all is how vague, awful and often inaccurate that advice is.

You can't just undo years of conditioning like that.

There are also plenty of people who are in relationships and have love who do have low self-esteem. It tends to attract toxic relationships, but not always.

If you don't do nasty things to people, why would you hate yourself?

Sometimes, certain schools of psychology overdo it.

There is the assumption that the negative is the default, that a bit of dislike of yourself turns into self-loathing/hatred.

^It's hard to explain.. it just comes from inside...

Thank you all for your replies! ..and I love you too Lillikoi

Now I wish this thread would just disappear.