Want to die, but not depressed...

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I was suicidal a lot when I was younger, and I haven't really felt that way in a while, but I do now. I'm not depressed though, I'm more angry than depressed.

All my complaints about life are "Big Issues" that I have no control over. For example, I feel that the entire American system is rigged against the little guy in more ways than one. "Voting" is just the most obvious, we get to "choose" between Tweedledee and Tweedledum, but even then, there's a preselected winner.

Right now, with the presidential "contest", the country is basically being forced to assent to the selection of Hillary Clinton as dictator/fuhrer, with Donald Trump being there to make the Republicans seem so horrible that Hillary gets a Democrat Congress so she can ram through whatever she wants. Not that there's any real difference between the two parties.

On my local ballot, the Congresswoman who will win inherited the office from her husband who died a decade ago and who was first elected in the 70s. This sort of thing is common in the US, we basically have an "elected aristocracy". Thomas Jefferson's coffin is likely twirling madly.

Also, the "nobility" here have shipped all the jobs out of the country except for very menial labor which is usually done by Latinos, and a handful of computer programming jobs filled by Asians. So, most of the country is unemployed, and is constantly berated for their "laziness" in not accepting those supposedly "plentiful" jobs which are a mirage. People are forced on welfare and are then trashed for being on welfare. The few who work are told to attack those who don't for their "easy lives".

Cities are burning as people without hope lash out. There is no hope of revolution since all the potential leaders have been neutralized by the government. The govt has also killed off all the creative types, which means that there really is no popular culture except for cheap "reality" TV shows and tuneless rap "music" that consists of a few notes on an endless loop fronted by poorly written "lyrics" that are mostly about selling sex and flaunting ill-gotten wealth. And to top it off, Americans are forbidden to travel or relocate elsewhere as if this was Cuba in the 60s, which may not be too far from the truth.

So yeah, I really don't see much of a reason to keep living, especially with the nobles chomping at the bit for all out nuclear war to save them from the imminent collapse of the unsustainable system they created. I will turn 42 on 27 November, if the world lasts that long, and if it does I likely won't see 43, either I will have killed myself or the nobles will have killed me along with most of the rest of humanity. I wanted to flee and hole up in the forest, I even found some land that I bought on ebay, but it turned out to be on a hill and useless for what I wanted to do with it. I want to sell it and buy someplace more suitable, but time has just about ran out.

Have you thought about moving to another country? Like Canada or Mexico perhaps?

I can relate. Over here, the "nobility" (literally, in some cases) have done a great job of persuading ordinary people to support the destruction of their own livelihoods. The papers are busy creating a new generation of Nazis. At the worse times, especially around our own last General Election, I have found myself obsessed with suicide. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't want to give the bastards the satisfaction of destroying me.