Why does everyone conform to societal norms and rules?

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It seems like everyone feels that they have to live their lives by what society says is normal. Society tells us that we have to go to college right after high school, get a job, get married, have kids, and that our lives will be complete and fulfilled. So many people buy into this hype thinking that they will be happy. While I believe that going to college and finding a job is important, I don't think getting married and having kids is as important. There are so many marriages today that end in divorce. Most people don't seem like they know what they are doing when it comes to marriage because they rush into it without giving it any thought. The same with having kids. I don't speak for everyone, but there are some people out there who are bad parents and who should never have had kids. It seems like everyone believes that if they conform to these norms and rules of society they will be happy. A lot of people who do follow these norms aren't happy and have no idea what they are doing. They give up what they really want just to fit in.

what is "society" but a bunch of individuals and their defense systems?

some people don't stand out from the norm because that's just who they are, and there's nothing wrong with that.

for some, the risk of unrestrained self expression (whatever they decide to do) is great and so the security in blending in can be enticing. of course that can depend on where and what you are.

there's no one way to "be married", personally i believe trying to follow the preset roles of "spouse" is damaging, limiting, and relationships are most healthy when the partners are honest friends who lead individual lives, but have a wish to be associated with each other. a relationship is like a temple with pillars, those pillars being separate but together is essential in order to support the structure, otherwise....

I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with living by what society says is normal, but no one should feel obligated to do something just because society tells them they should. It should be about what the individual wants, not what others say is normal or not. So many people feel like they have to live by a certain script or else they will be left out. Whenever a woman says she doesn't want to have kids, she is usually pressured by friends and family members to have them. She may end up having a kid even though she didn't really want to have one because of societal pressure. I think it is wrong to tell people how to live their lives. If the norms and rules of society work for you then great. If they don't then it is nobody else's business to tell you how to live your life.

I agree with you. Luckily there are those who don't pay too much attention to the rules / norms of society. I think that's easier to do today whereas there was a time when it was real tough, such as woman hermits who liked nature and may have been suspected of being witches.

It seems like everyone feels that they have to live their lives by what society says is normal. Society tells us that we have to go to college right after high school, get a job, get married, have kids, and that our lives will be complete and fulfilled. So many people buy into this hype thinking that they will be happy. While I believe that going to college and finding a job is important, I don't think getting married and having kids is as important. There are so many marriages today that end in divorce. Most people don't seem like they know what they are doing when it comes to marriage because they rush into it without giving it any thought. The same with having kids. I don't speak for everyone, but there are some people out there who are bad parents and who should never have had kids. It seems like everyone believes that if they conform to these norms and rules of society they will be happy. A lot of people who do follow these norms aren't happy and have no idea what they are doing. They give up what they really want just to fit in.
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not everyone goes to college right after high school, gets a job, gets married, and has kids. nowadays, plenty of people get advanced degrees and delay marriage and family.

one boy told me both his parents were professors at the university. he got free tuition as the child of a professor. he went to college one month. Physics. he told them it sucked. they told him then don't go. he left the country to take uchi deshi martial arts lessons.

you would think parents so educated would pressure children more. but ni.

i am 34. got a BA. no marriage or kids. no job\

but i ain't "everyone."

i am nobody

Isn't it only due to people wanting to choose the path of the least resistance?

If you are part of the machine that is society we are given the illusion that you are an essential gear-wheel without which the machine cannot work. Adapt to their rules and the machine works well, it is that simple. What they don't tell you is that you are undoubtedly replaceable , though.

Last edited by Mr.Robot on 29 Jun 2017, 3:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

i'm not

LOL you don't have to do all those things. Yes you need a job because you need to make a living or else you would be in the streets or be a burden to your parents.

Not everyone goes to college and the reason why people go is because they need to go to get a degree to get the job they want to have like of they want to be a lawyer or a doctor or a nurse or a surgeon or want to fill out pill prescriptions or be a teacher or a biologist, etc.

People have kids because they want to have them, not everyone has them because they think they have to and not everyone gets married either. I got married because I wanted to and I wanted to have kids and I didn't want to be alone and be a single parent. Not everyone has kids and not everyone goes to college right after high school. Some have kids thinking it will bring them happiness or that is will save their marriage or relationship. Like a kid is a magical cure to make someone decide they will change.

Those out there that think getting married and having children is mandatory are pretty stupid. I don't understand how anyone can think that. I just thought everyone got married and had kids because they wanted to, not because they thought they were obligated. Did they not notice any childless people out there who never had kids or people who never married? That tells me it's an option.

LOL you don't have to do all those things. Yes you need a job because you need to make a living or else you would be in the streets or be a burden to your parents.

Not everyone goes to college and the reason why people go is because they need to go to get a degree to get the job they want to have like of they want to be a lawyer or a doctor or a nurse or a surgeon or want to fill out pill prescriptions or be a teacher or a biologist, etc.
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if you do not get a job, your alternatives are:

win lottery
productively invest in stock market or other forms of unearned income
marry someone rich
petty larceny
inheritance
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not everyone goes to college. some people do fine financially without college. gates/jobs/zuckerburg. some people get degrees, BA/BS, MA/MS, phd, jd, and et cetera and still do not do fine financially.

my cousin got a BS in Aerospace Engineering 10 years ago. and he has been unemployed pretty much since then.

nowadays, there are more people working at jobs that they are overqualified for, than before the 2008 recession.

college serves a function. but society (especially professionals that work for the school - instructors and counselors) act like college is both necessary and sufficient for financial stability in the future. but it ain't necessary or sufficient.

some people want to be teachers, pharmacists, and doctors. and some people succeed. and some people fail.

it's a risk.

if someone finishes medical school and doesn't get a residency, there is no room in the medical system for him/her.

but quite frankly, just my opinion. but a lot of people, such as myself. just go to college as 13th grade. b/c after high school, at age 18, with little or no job experience or job skills. not many prospects besides minimum wage jobs.

college always delays the future.

college does not always improve the future, in terms of finances, vocation, or relationships.

and delaying something is something that is valuable and sometimes a good thing. so whatever.

you do not have to get married or have children. there is no law that says you have to. no dowry. noone is hiring you to do so. nobody put you in extortion to do so.

it's just peer pressure. maybe some people will not treat you like you are an adult, unless and until you are married with children. but you have to do what is best for you. besides, why waste all this energy conforming to peer pressure of someone, when someone might not even be around the next day?

friends dump eachother. spouses divorce. employees get fired.

relationships do not always last as long as both parties planned or fantasized.

so, you decide to get married or have children based on what you and your partner wants. you do not let peer pressure dictate.

Hi MSBKyle,

Stow, Ohio? Howdy, neighbor. We live pretty close.

I'm an artist.
Loved college.
Currently have a day job ... thank God, so I can pay the bills
and afford to be an artist.
Never married, no kids ...
had the opportunity but
I wouldn't settle for a guy who was wrong for me ...
now if I would have met someone decent and on the same wavelength,
I would have married and liked to have kids ...
still open to this, though I'm a bit older now.

Am kinda like a female version of Sheldon
only I'm rated G.

Meanwhile, life is an adventure.
Art is an adventure.