(Well?) Why do you think she's like this?

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smudge
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03 Jul 2017, 11:07 am

Was my nan's answer to the dog being nervous of me.

The dog is really anxious around me. She gets upset if I get upset in any way. No other dog I have lived with has ever had the anxiety that this dog has. In fact they haven't had any anxiety, but have been very confident and outgoing, and love the outdoors, and were really the complete opposite of this dog in terms of behaviour.

This particular dog has OCD too (needs her biscuit thrown in the air, in a certain way, and a certain number of times before she will eat it, and will keep pestering you to do it. She has routines, she will go crazy with anxiety if they are not adhered to. My nan has never done anything to avoid this. She never walks her, and she never has tried to train her out of it.)

The dog goes crazy if she hears a tiny sound. She is not a normal dog. She's lovely, but completely overridden with anxiety.

My nan likes blaming this on me, even though the dog has been very anxious from day 1 of getting her. I feel this is extremely unfair and uncalled for. I have not changed as a person. My nan and sister blamed me when my mum went into hospital once (it was a panic attack). They like shaming me. It is really quite hurtful.


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androbot01
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03 Jul 2017, 11:48 am

Sounds like they're scapegoating you. Not fair at all.

Some dogs are just like that. My Mom's chihuahua is high strung and her bark is painfully high. We put up with her anyway.



jrjones9933
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03 Jul 2017, 12:00 pm

Watch some Cesar Millan Dog Whisperer videos with her. The dog sounds well past the Barbara Woodhouse stage.

She probably has no idea how unfairly she's treating you due to not understanding her beloved pet is actually a dog.


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smudge
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03 Jul 2017, 12:27 pm

I let the dog sniff my hands sometimes, because she likes sniffing them and it helps her and she wags her tail. My nan said me waving my arms about makes it look to the dog like I'm going to hit her. I don't even wave my arms about, I don't even understand why she said that to me. It's like she's purposely trying to make out I'm a monster. My nan doesn't like me.

As for that hospital incident, though this was years ago, it was when we thought mum had a heart condition, but instead it turned out to be a panic attack. My nan and sister said to me it was me who caused it before we even found out it was a panic attack. You don't treat a teenager like that.


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BirdInFlight
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03 Jul 2017, 12:33 pm

That's horrible, and I agree with androbot, it sounds like classic scapegoating of you. I was also scapegoated in my family. Years ago I saw a really good talk-therapist who could see through to all the dysfunction in my family and explained why some of this type of family need to seek a target to "blame" for all of the dysfunction they in fact each bring to the table. When one member is made to be a scapegoat, you usually find that far from being the only person "causing" anthing, many members of that family are actually some kind of problem person themselves in fact.