I'm going to a nightclub tomorrow!

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Clubbing isn't really my thing, but I'm trying it for the first time tomorrow evening. I am going on a works do, including my boyfriend, and after the meal they are all going into this nightclub. So I thought I'd give it a go while the chance is there.

Then maybe I won't keep feeling depressed and self-loathing every time others my age announce that they've been clubbing or are going clubbing. It's the only cure.

Wish me luck!

THAT'S WONDERFUL! You've been wanting to do this for the longest time.

I hope you really enjoy yourself. If the socializing or the music start to get to you, find a quiet nook and keep to yourself for a little while... sometimes even a trip to the loo provides a bit of needed escape.

I used to do quite a lot of clubbing in the 1990s... a lot of it in Madchester (?). There's always a quiet spot or corner you can hide in if you want. It's totally overwhelming when you walk through the door, but you soon find a nook. If you go in a group, not everyone wants to be raving on the dancefloor all the time.

Good luck... but you'll be fine.

Enjoy. Make sure you have good earplugs in case you need to use them.

I forgot mention the earplugs... essential. Foam earplugs from Boots are quite cheap and work well.

Good luck, I hope you enjoy it!

It's not the loudness that gets to me, it's just the social anxiety, like worrying people will judge me, because those sorts of places do contain rowdy youngsters. Also being a non-drinker makes being in these sorts of places quite difficult if you're an introvert, but I'm sure my boyfriend won't want to stay out too late. Hes an introvert too (but NT).

But I will go for the experience and then I can say I've been to a nightclub without having to lie.

Some clubs are louder than others. I'm just saying you may not think loud noises affect you and hopefully they won't, but I would encourage you to bring some foam earplugs just in case you need them.

Sounds good! I'm going on a blind date tomorrow night. My friend set me up with her boyfriend's best friend.

Say hi to 10 people and see if your not having fun

I used to love going to clubs and raves when I was younger. I would always wear earplugs, the flat silicone kind for swimmers that you don’t have to jam in your ears. With earplugs in I found it much easier to hear what people were saying and I wouldn’t have that horrible ringing in my ears when I got home. If I was feeling super anxious and didn’t want to talk to people I’d just go and dance. Moving my body always calms my anxiety.

Have fun!

Joe, how did that turn out for you? Was it what you expected?

I got stressed, here's why:-

One thing it was literally so crowded you couldn't move. Me and my boyfriend went to the bar to get a drink, but it was taking us a long time to be served. I tripped over somebody's foot trying to move. At last we got our drinks but it was so crowded that we couldn't move anywhere, and other people wanted to get to the bar. I felt like I was in the way all the time. At last we managed to move and we put our drinks on a nearby table.

Then a girl from work arrived but she had already been drinking at a different bar so she came to this one rather drunk. At first I didn't realise she was drunk, I thought she was just happy to see me. She gave me a hug and said she will buy me a cocktail. I said no thanks because I already had a drink, but she insisted on getting me a cocktail so she went to the bar to order one. She came back with this huge jug of green and blue drink, then kept cuddling me telling everyone that we are going to drink it together. She is not gay but she kept touching me as though she was; rubbing my back and holding me close in her arms. That was when I realised she was drunk. She then told me to come outside with her, and she hid the cocktail under her coat and pulled me by the arm so I had no choice. My shandy was still in my hand, and when I got outside I got told to take my drink back inside, which made me feel silly. Then the drunk girl had ran off with the cocktail, but I didn't know where she went. I went in and stayed with my boyfriend, talking to some of the guys at work. But after we had our drink my boyfriend wanted to go. The drunk girl reappeared, but was yelling at someone over nothing and started crying. She didn't have the cocktail jug with her. I don't know what happened after that because me and my boyfriend left.

There was lots of drunks as we walked through the street. It wasn't very nice. I had a feeling that if I made eye contact with drunk girls they might set upon me, so I kept my head down and held my boyfriend's hand. We made it home safely.

So the experience in the club might have been better if it hadn't been for our drunk colleague. She was scaring me a bit, plus the bar was so crowded you could barely move.
I just don't see why everybody loves getting drunk so much. Most drunks I see aren't happy, they're having an argument and getting kicked out of bars. What's so fun about that?

I wasn't bothered about the loudness by the way.

I'm amazed that you weren't bothered by the loudness. When I was young though and going to clubs regularly I guess I wasn't bothered by the loudness very often either.

I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable around drunk people. I've had a lot of experience in my life being around them in different capacities. Drunk people are not in their right mind, they're not thinking clearly, they're completely unpredictable and, male more than female, they can turn violent in an instant. I have the same feeling of alert around a drunk man as I would around a dangerous wild animal.

Since your negative experience revolved around the drunk colleague and the rest of it seemed to be tolerable for you, maybe you can try it again in a place where you won't run into coworkers?

laughing ... well now you see why several people told you that clubbing is not "all that"

Anyway now you know.

Well, we hardly clubbed. We just went in, had a drink and left. I'm glad that's over with though.

Like I said, it's drunk people I don't like. NTs are quick to judge and be afraid of people like autistics or people with antisocial behaviour or over emotional behaviour. But most think that getting drunk is absolutely fantastic and you must do it and you are socially accepted if you drink - even though drinking can cause antosocial behaviours that can appear in the uncanny valley. And a lot of NTs continue to do this every weekend, even those that have had bad experiences from drinking, experiences that are enough to put you off for life. I know a girl who went out, got drunk and woke up the next morning in a police cell. Apparently she was getting undressed in the middle of the street in front of loads of people, and was intending to run around naked, so the police arrested her. People filmed her on their phones, which caused her to fall out with a lot of her friends because she was embarrassed from all the ridicule she received. But being filmed naked by laughing onlookers and waking up in a cell wasn't enough to put her off drinking, because she went out and got drunk again 2 weeks later. Now, what a carry on. Why do people think there's something wrong with me just because I don't live this lifestyle?