Already feel like the year is going to be bad
2018 ended in failure once more for me. I attended an anime convention with a friend but had to leave it after only a day in. The year started off badly and ended without anything getting better. I wondered if just maybe the year could be salvaged but things in my life never go the way I want them to go.
I already feel like this year is going to be another bad year. My older brother is still outshining me and the meet up group I've been a member of has been setting up events at his brewery. I hate that I was born into a culture that warned me away from the "evils" of smoking and drinking but most of the socialization in my area revolves around those things.
I am still suffering from analysis paralysis and will most likely miss the Spring college course registration period. I am torn between furthering my education and getting caught in more social disappointments at the only college I can realistically afford (Even though I still have to pay through the nose for it).
Every year I go through starts off with anxiety and worry. This year is no different.
The times I went, I would see people really chatting up in the halls (Besides the ones looking into their cellphones which the number of has increased the last time I was there) and people would do the same in class. I even had a family doctor tell me college would be better for me socially than high school. She couldn't have been more wrong.
Enough with the pessimism; even the first half of January hasn't passed yet! If you say that 2018 was bad for you then that's a fact, but you can't know this early on that 2019 will be the same. Sure, if you decide that this will be a bad year then you'll probably be slightly less dissapointed if it really does turn out to be bad, but life is easier with a positive attitude (not that I'm really one to talk, but that's not the point right now.)
I think I get the part about your brother; my older sister just bought an apartment of her own a bit before Christmas, and while it's in no way away from me, it makes the gap between us seem bigger to me and makes me feel like I'm even less of a cabable adult and the proper woman I should be by now. I mean before this I had one thing "better" than my sister since she still lived with our parents and I didn't, but now she doesn't, not to mentions she actually owns her home, so I kind of lost the only "advantage" that I had and some more on top of it. Pretty cool place though, I visited it earlier today.
Anyway, you're still living in that "Bible Belt", right? Still the same town? Still with your mom? Have you seriously considered moving away, even to just the neighboring town? Or a place of your own in the same town? If you started to seriously plan and practice basic life skills now, perhaps you could move out next year? Being able to do these things might give you more confidence, not to mention it sounds like some distance to your family would do you some good.
AnonymousAnonymous
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Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
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Location: Portland, Oregon
I agree with kraftie. Nothing will change if you don't take an active role in trying to improve your situation.
I also concur. In fact Marknis, if you continue to believe that people will always look down upon you as inferior to themselves, you will continue the feel the same for who knows how long. IMO, people will continue to see you as an "easy target" for insults.
BTW, if you don't mind me asking; What is the name of the town you reside in? Which big cities are close to it?
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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!
I agree with kraftie. Nothing will change if you don't take an active role in trying to improve your situation.
I also concur. In fact Marknis, if you continue to believe that people will always look down upon you as inferior to themselves, you will continue the feel the same for who knows how long. IMO, people will continue to see you as an "easy target" for insults.
BTW, if you don't mind me asking; What is the name of the town you reside in? Which big cities are close to it?
I live in Temple, Texas. The biggest cities close to it are Killeen and Austin.
I think I get the part about your brother; my older sister just bought an apartment of her own a bit before Christmas, and while it's in no way away from me, it makes the gap between us seem bigger to me and makes me feel like I'm even less of a cabable adult and the proper woman I should be by now. I mean before this I had one thing "better" than my sister since she still lived with our parents and I didn't, but now she doesn't, not to mentions she actually owns her home, so I kind of lost the only "advantage" that I had and some more on top of it. Pretty cool place though, I visited it earlier today.
Anyway, you're still living in that "Bible Belt", right? Still the same town? Still with your mom? Have you seriously considered moving away, even to just the neighboring town? Or a place of your own in the same town? If you started to seriously plan and practice basic life skills now, perhaps you could move out next year? Being able to do these things might give you more confidence, not to mention it sounds like some distance to your family would do you some good.
Yes to the first three. No to the next three because I am still stuck in a rut.
How many hours a week do you work? I'm not judging, I work part time.
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Yes to the first three. No to the next three because I am still stuck in a rut.
I don't understand the expression "stuck in a rut", but from the context I'll just assume it has something to do with your income and work situation. Have you tried to find a better paid job, then? Also, even if it's impossible for you to move out at the moment, what's stopping you from practicing the life skills needed for living on your own? It might feel a little pointless if there's no way to live on your own yet, but to be honest that's a bad way of thinking. If you keep refusing to learn necessary life skills, you won't have them when you'd actually need them. Imagine winning a decent sum in lottery but not being able to leave your mom's place because you're not able to take care of yourself. Would suck, yeah?
Not that I even know what basic life things you can handle and what things you can't, but I've gotten the impression that you can't handle much (correct me if I'm wrong.) Learning how to live on your own certainly won't harm you even if you can't actually do it yet.
^On that theory no one on WP should ever mention any problems because we're not starving.
I'm glad I'm not starving but it's human nature for Marknis to want more than that and to want the things that he
sees those around him having.
Do you want to leave home Marknis? As a low earner would you get any help towards rent if you did move?
_________________
climate change petition, please sign
Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.
I'm glad I'm not starving but it's human nature for Marknis to want more than that and to want the things that he
sees those around him having.
Do you want to leave home Marknis? As a low earner would you get any help towards rent if you did move?
Average wait Time to get on housing assistance is 6 years or so.
But you can’t even get on it until you move out I think. So what would he or I do for 6 years as homeless? And I hear it’s harder for homeless to get on due to not having a adress. Another catch 22 I guess.
I’d have to move out to get housing but I’d need housing to move out
Unless I get into a low income housing but it’s always full
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