Already feel like the year is going to be bad

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2018 ended in failure once more for me. I attended an anime convention with a friend but had to leave it after only a day in. The year started off badly and ended without anything getting better. I wondered if just maybe the year could be salvaged but things in my life never go the way I want them to go.

I already feel like this year is going to be another bad year. My older brother is still outshining me and the meet up group I've been a member of has been setting up events at his brewery. I hate that I was born into a culture that warned me away from the "evils" of smoking and drinking but most of the socialization in my area revolves around those things.

I am still suffering from analysis paralysis and will most likely miss the Spring college course registration period. I am torn between furthering my education and getting caught in more social disappointments at the only college I can realistically afford (Even though I still have to pay through the nose for it).

Every year I go through starts off with anxiety and worry. This year is no different.

I think its a good thing you dont drink. Dont know what to tell you about the college thing. It would be good if you could go. Why would you have to socialize? If I took a course at college I would just go for the course, not to socialize.

You have to take an active role in improving your situation.

True 2019 is going be far worse for me it seems.

Best of luck to us in these trying times.

Enough with the pessimism; even the first half of January hasn't passed yet! If you say that 2018 was bad for you then that's a fact, but you can't know this early on that 2019 will be the same. Sure, if you decide that this will be a bad year then you'll probably be slightly less dissapointed if it really does turn out to be bad, but life is easier with a positive attitude (not that I'm really one to talk, but that's not the point right now.)

I think I get the part about your brother; my older sister just bought an apartment of her own a bit before Christmas, and while it's in no way away from me, it makes the gap between us seem bigger to me and makes me feel like I'm even less of a cabable adult and the proper woman I should be by now. I mean before this I had one thing "better" than my sister since she still lived with our parents and I didn't, but now she doesn't, not to mentions she actually owns her home, so I kind of lost the only "advantage" that I had and some more on top of it. Pretty cool place though, I visited it earlier today.

Anyway, you're still living in that "Bible Belt", right? Still the same town? Still with your mom? Have you seriously considered moving away, even to just the neighboring town? Or a place of your own in the same town? If you started to seriously plan and practice basic life skills now, perhaps you could move out next year? Being able to do these things might give you more confidence, not to mention it sounds like some distance to your family would do you some good.

How many hours a week do you work? I'm not judging, I work part time.

At least you have money Mark. Think of all the peaple that miss out on going to conventions because they dont have the money. Think of all the people who cant even afford proper food.

^On that theory no one on WP should ever mention any problems because we're not starving.

I'm glad I'm not starving but it's human nature for Marknis to want more than that and to want the things that he

sees those around him having.

Do you want to leave home Marknis? As a low earner would you get any help towards rent if you did move?